My DD is at a big 3 and we pay $1k a month on anxiety therapy. It’s ridiculous. But this area is so competitive that she is worried that she won’t be up to the level of all the bright kids in this area come college time. I hate it and probably need therapy myself.

I was suicidal while at NCS. I’m now on the fence between Flint Hill and SSSAS for my own DD because she has a similar temperament and I want her to flourish, not be crushed.

we are at a school that many consider a big 5 and I'll hone in for you all and say it is in NW DC. My kid is stressed to the max so much that we have spent the better of the year trying to figure out counseling (good luck, they're all booked or pay out of pocket) and are letting him drop a few things. The kids are competitive to a point of no return. The school ethos is supposed to be supportive but I don't see it. The counseling office seems to be filled and don't get me started on the college admissions process. It is not healthy. And social media doesn't help.

Even at non Big 3/5, it’s worth investigating what the stress level/pressure cooker vibe is like before committing to a school. Our child is at a well regarded non Big 3/5 school which we love and that is plenty rigorous and challenging. But, there is immense pressure for taking the maximum AP/Honors classes and obviously earning highest grades possible, with students discussing grades daily. Our student is luckily doing very well so far. But, we are also focusing on the mental health component at home and monitoring in case a tipping point is reached.

For our younger kids, we have a much better of idea of what sort of environment we are aiming for with the idea that they will likely thrive best as big fish in little ponds versus the opposite. IMO, the best grades earned from a non pressure cooker are going to get them farther in college admissions than mediocre grades at a pressure cooker. And, they will be so much happier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two high schoolers at the Big3 and they are continually stressed and miserable. I would not chose this again but it's too late to change and they don't want to for friend reasons.

Did you crow when they were accepted to an “elite” school? Do you warn other parents not to make the same mistake?

Huh no because we left public school and wanted to retain our public school friends and I'm not an A$$. We actually never mentioned it unless asked.

I am very frank about our experience. I often get asked about our school by friends/neighbors/fellow parents who are now applying there and I have a paragraph that I copy and paste into email replies.
It is very open about the stress and grade deflation. I probably now need to add a few lines about crappy college outcomes too.

Funny thing is that almost nobody listens to me. They all thing their kid will be different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two high schoolers at the Big3 and they are continually stressed and miserable. I would not chose this again but it's too late to change and they don't want to for friend reasons.

Did you crow when they were accepted to an “elite” school? Do you warn other parents not to make the same mistake?

NP probably not and I don’t blame them. Nobody wants to bash their kids school unless to close friends/family. Plus, if you bash something that other people view as desirable, you are perceived as having something wrong with you.

So why post a thread to ask what can parents do if the parents whose kids are going through so much stress are not willing to save others from the stress they are posting about?

Why perpetuate the reputation of the very school their kids are supposedly suffering through?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two high schoolers at the Big3 and they are continually stressed and miserable. I would not chose this again but it's too late to change and they don't want to for friend reasons.

Did you crow when they were accepted to an “elite” school? Do you warn other parents not to make the same mistake?

NP probably not and I don’t blame them. Nobody wants to bash their kids school unless to close friends/family. Plus, if you bash something that other people view as desirable, you are perceived as having something wrong with you.

Anonymous wrote:I have two high schoolers at the Big3 and they are continually stressed and miserable. I would not chose this again but it's too late to change and they don't want to for friend reasons.

Did you crow when they were accepted to an “elite” school? Do you warn other parents not to make the same mistake?

I have two high schoolers at the Big3 and they are continually stressed and miserable. I would not chose this again but it's too late to change and they don't want to for friend reasons.

Why are sending your kids to schools where they experience so much stress? Why are you choosing this for your kids?

This is why I don’t even plan to apply to Potomac/Big 3 for my DD. I want a better life for her than grinding away on schoolwork all four years.

You are not alone. DH and I worry about the same thing. How do you help your kids manage the stress? Any tips?

What's causing the stress?

Anonymous wrote:How much stress is too much stress? Watching the stress and pressure my kids experience in school is making me wonder why we are not talking about this. I must not be the only parent concerned?

This is talked about all the time here and then parents completely ignore it on and compete to send their kids to exactly the same places where these things are happening the most.

How much stress is too much stress? Watching the stress and pressure my kids experience in school is making me wonder why we are not talking about this. I must not be the only parent concerned?