What exactly would you do by getting “involved?” What exactly would you do to help this situation?

Yes you stay out of it. And give your husband a bj. He’s amazing and better than mine at standing up to mil. (A woman)

Someone should build a monument to your DH. Stay strong!

Anonymous wrote:Let your DH handle this. But absolutely stay home and cook your own meal. If MIL still refuses to come, that’s on her.

+1 and go hug your husband for not being a pushover

Anonymous wrote:Let your DH handle this. But absolutely stay home and cook your own meal. If MIL still refuses to come, that’s on her.

This!

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Stay out of it and good for your husband for staying firm.

+1 million. If DCUM was a slot machine this is like hitting the triple jackpot.

So nice to read of a MIL situation, not a husband problem disguised as a MIL problem. Let your husband fight the good fight, and host regardless.

Let your DH handle this. But absolutely stay home and cook your own meal. If MIL still refuses to come, that’s on her.

Anonymous wrote:Stay out of it. But consider that as she ages, she may not want to set a precedent of traveling any more than she already does.

OP here. They are a two-hour drive away. They are welcome to stay overnight whenever they like. They are able-bodied, in their mid-60s, and love to travel with friends, including road trips, cruises, and kayaking.

We travel to them at a ratio of at least 3 to 1, and we’re the ones with two jobs and two kids.

Stay out of it. But consider that as she ages, she may not want to set a precedent of traveling any more than she already does.

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Stay out of it and good for your husband for staying firm.

+1!!

Yea stay out of it, but the answer needs to be that you are doing Easter at your house. Period. They can come if they want.

Yes stay out of it!

Also, I think you should move forward with having Easter at your house, regardless of whether your in laws go or not. Invite a couple friends and have DH convey to his family that your family isn’t traveling for Easter but that they are welcome to join your celebration. Then leave it at that and forge ahead with all of the plans and excitement you get from hosting.

Yes! Stay out of it and good for your husband for staying firm.

DH and I enjoy cooking and hosting. We have a rotation with my side of the family when it comes to holidays (as in, when it is a year that DH and I celebrate Christmas with my family, sometimes it’s at my house, sometimes my sister’s house, sometimes my parents, and even my brother has taken us all out to dinner because he doesn’t like cooking.) DH and I also love having friends over for dinner parties, BBQs, etc.

We have never, not once, hosted a holiday or family gathering for his side of the family. MIL wants to have it her way, and SIL is content not to have to host, because she doesn’t like cooking; SIL is also childfree, which is relevant later.

DH and I know to leave Christmas and Thanksgiving alone (even though it’s a schlep for us to come to them on holidays with the kids), but we asked during Thanksgiving if we could host Easter. Everyone said yes and seemed to think this was a “lovely idea,” MIL’s words.

Well, now that it’s almost time, she apparently has changed her mind and doesn’t want to give up hosting. DH says too bad, we’re not planning on traveling, we’re finally going to do a holiday at our house. Neither of them is budging. SIL is content to go to either place and doesn’t want to get involved (which I totally understand). At this point, I think DH is going to put his foot down because he is so annoyed that MIL initially said yes to the perfectly reasonable request that we host for once. The drive is about two hours for any party involved to go to any party’s house, and DH and I are the only ones traveling with kids and dealing with all that comes with it.

Do I just stay completely out of it?