Very accurate.

My mom was dying during the early days of Covid so all her appointments were via zoom. Her oncologist was blowing smoke about how she’d see her soon for her next round. Then we did a zoom with my mom’s cardiologist and he was like, er, can I talk to you privately? I went into the other room and he said, you should call hospice, she looks like doesn’t have long. He was right and I was grateful to him for being honest.

Anonymous wrote:Usually they seem to be accurate. But my MIL lasted 3 weeks (which is crazy) after she went nonresponsive and hospice ceased food and water. THREE WEEKS. was torture for everyone.

Ditto my aunt. A month. Hospice doc took heroic efforts despite a DNR which resulted in a bit of a rebound - long enough for my aunt to wake up and hate on everyone because she could not go home. She needed 24/7 care, could not even lift her hand to eat, but would not accept that. It was everyone else’s fault. In the meantime, I had gone home (cross country) knowing she was in a good place and had family to visit, but had to endure hospice social worker calling me and berating me for going home instead of taking my aunt home and doing 24/7 care by myself. By the third time, I told her not to call me again or I was reporting her. Aunt was in magical thinking mode that she was going to recover (from end stage pancreatic cancer). Not her fault, but it was hell on everyone.
Took me six full months to mentally recover.

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. To answer your question, most people I know who have been told their loved one (usually their parent) has 2-3 days do live, they have died within 2-3 days. I know one friend who was told 2-3 days and their mom didn't die for 8 days, and it was very surprising for everyone.

My aunt went a month longer.

Anonymous wrote:We were told my father would die that night. He passed a few days later. He stayed alive in a horrible state and they finally told us to consider not visiting. Some people don't pass until they get privacy and he was clearly ready and could not talk anymore so no ability to communicate his wishes.

The hardest thing about aging parents who seem at least somewhat conscious but locked in is figuring out what the heck they want. I don’t want to pester my father, but I hate the idea that his last thought will be that he wished he could get a dribble of Coke, when I have whole six-pack of Coke just for him.

We were told my father would die that night. He passed a few days later. He stayed alive in a horrible state and they finally told us to consider not visiting. Some people don't pass until they get privacy and he was clearly ready and could not talk anymore so no ability to communicate his wishes.

With my mother it was accurate. It was by the end of the week 6 or so days and it was exact. Geriatric doctor could tell. I asked to be told the signs of active dying so I would recognize them.

Usually they seem to be accurate. But my MIL lasted 3 weeks (which is crazy) after she went nonresponsive and hospice ceased food and water. THREE WEEKS. was torture for everyone.

I'm so sorry, OP. To answer your question, most people I know who have been told their loved one (usually their parent) has 2-3 days do live, they have died within 2-3 days. I know one friend who was told 2-3 days and their mom didn't die for 8 days, and it was very surprising for everyone.

Accurate. They have seen it so many times.

Go hold his hand. So sorry again.

Pretty accurate for us. They said MIL took a turn for worse, she died about a week later, maybe less. There were stages. First stopping eating and drinking. Then stopped talking. Then the wet breathing, then it's like 2 days maybe. I'm sorry this is happening.

In my experience quite accurate.

With my mom about a year ago it was pretty accurate.

The key indicator is when they stop giving them food and water. At that point it’s really only days to go.

My father seemed to just need a little home care five months ago and now might have a few days to live.

I was wondering whether the hospice people are really that great at predicting imminent death.

Here’s a paper I found that addresses that subject, in case the question comes up for other people: https://www.rcpjournals.org/content/clinmedicine/19/4/306