Are you applying to an independent school?

We did not disclose because we don’t have a diagnosis (yet). This was for first grade admissions and DC was on the waitlist for their testing. The interviews would allow the schools to see the behaviors and see if they were a good fit for the school.

We did rule out several school during the application process where it became clear they were really not good with wiggly kids and very focused on good behavior.

The school DC got into (and that we loved when applying and are still very happy with) saw DC during the interview in full wiggly, talkative mode and admitted them. They have supported DC as DC has gone through therapy and medication, so it’s been a good fit.

OP

Btw, I have ADHD just the inattentive type not the hyperactive impulsive type which my son likely has and I did great in school. Homework did take me longer than it did others and I did not retain as much info in class so had to study extra card but went to an Ivy League for college and master’s etc. With no medication etc. So that’s why I am not sure I should hold him back for something that may or may not happen.

Why would you PAY to send your kid to a school where you think he might not be wanted if they knew more about him?

How can you trust that they'll do a good job meeting his needs if you are thinking about not giving them all the information that would help?

OP

I guess they would notice it during the play date screening.

The reason why I feel like private school might still work is once he is eligible for medication, things might get better.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want him in private? If it’s that severe they are going to notice, and kick him out. You need public w IEP.

OP Perhaps. But do I not even give him a chance? Public schools next to us are not good. We would have to move.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him get in. After he is accepted, but before you sign the contract disclose his needs and ask how they will support him. You need to make sure he will be supported and accepted.

Part of the application asks if child has ever been evaluated. You can't lie and say no to that question and then immediately turn around and say he needs accommodations.

OP some do and some don’t. For the ones that don’t, what do we do? He’s in current daycare and doing relatively well.

Anonymous wrote:At 2.5 I’d get an evaluation for autism.

OP It’s not autism. He’s just extremely high energy and very limited focus plus lower frustration tolerance. They looked at autism during his evaluation and he did not qualify. His language is great, social behavior aside from impulsivity is on track, has many interests, etc.

At 2.5 I’d get an evaluation for autism.

I told upfront my kid's possible diagnosis/challenges before I actually enrolled my kid at daycare/preschool. If they rejected us, I would switch to our 2nd top choice. Later on, it was confirmed that my kid had asd and adhd. My kid had therapist going into the center for services, and the other kid with no diagnosis had to be bused to other pep progran daily. They said that they wouldtry their best to support. It was a good sign, so I had my 2 kids enrolled ilat the sane center.

Anonymous wrote:Let him get in. After he is accepted, but before you sign the contract disclose his needs and ask how they will support him. You need to make sure he will be supported and accepted.

Part of the application asks if child has ever been evaluated. You can't lie and say no to that question and then immediately turn around and say he needs accommodations.

Let him get in. After he is accepted, but before you sign the contract disclose his needs and ask how they will support him. You need to make sure he will be supported and accepted.

Why would you want him in private? If it’s that severe they are going to notice, and kick him out. You need public w IEP.

Yes, discuss your concerns with the school. If you don't come out they're going to discover it on day one anyway

I don't think you have to disclose a diagnosis that he doesn't yet have, but you do need to have a serious and honest conversation about his needs and the supports he needs in the classroom. You aren't doing him any favors if he is admitted to a school where he can't thrive.

Our DS likely has it. It’s so severe it can be noticed at 2.5. We did a full neuropsych and while they can’t diagnose him, they are sure they will be able to diagnose him in a few years. Do you disclose something that is potential in applying to private schools? Not sure they will take him if we disclose but what if there is a chance he does not get diagnosed in the end?