Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 07:42     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
Great question OP! But it’s a tough one to answer since we spent our lives shaped by the norms of most people having kids.

I love my kids (and still want more) but I bet I wouldn’t have had them if most of my family/social circles didn’t have kids. I wouldn’t have been exposed to to joys and the fun and the love that children bring to a person.

Would love to see the Sliding Doors version of my life without kids….
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 07:40     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
I didn’t really have a “circle” or any expectations, and I was pretty ambivalent about kids until an accidental chemical pregnancy at 30. The brief sensation of being pregnant made me realize I wanted kids. I think there are biological drives that take over, given there’s a willing partner around. Can’t imagine life without them now that they’re teens. Best thing I ever did.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 07:37     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
Probably not, and if there had been full disclosure I probably would not have had them either. Still trying to find the joy people talk about. It has just been one stress after another.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 07:35     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
We had kids because DH and I wanted to, not because it was expected or I felt pressure to do so. The stats don’t matter to me either way.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 07:10     Subject: If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
Yes. First three years of college, I was on the fence. Then I got pregnant (unplanned) with my eldest and I knew I wanted to parent. It was not at all a popular or common decision. There was a lot of pressure for different endings.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 07:05     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
I hope so because it the best thing I’ve ever done. I waited ti have kids because I really wasn’t sure if I’d be a good mom though. I took it really seriously.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 07:01     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
Anonymous wrote:No but holy s*** do I think people downplay kids. I never wanted kids and if I wasn’t so old I’d have like 12. I enjoy them more than I’d ever known (only my kids though, still can’t stand other people’s kids). It’s all the cliches come true. So I’m glad a lot of society feels that way and pressured me into my own.


Wow, I feel the exact opposite.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 06:26     Subject: If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
Maybe not. But I'm glad I did, knowing the limited information I had. It's a joy in its own way, and the stress is finite.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 05:05     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
Yes. Nothing about raising kids has been a surprise to me. I am glad we stopped at 2.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 02:21     Subject: If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
Yes. The urge to have kids was real with me. But I always liked babies and kids and I wish I had had more than 3.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 01:15     Subject: If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
No. I definitely had mine because it was the next expected thing. It’s why I stopped at one though, it’s waaaaaay more work than I could have imagined.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 00:43     Subject: If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
I would, definitely. I love being a parent and ended up having more kids than I thought I would.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 00:38     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
No but holy s*** do I think people downplay kids. I never wanted kids and if I wasn’t so old I’d have like 12. I enjoy them more than I’d ever known (only my kids though, still can’t stand other people’s kids). It’s all the cliches come true. So I’m glad a lot of society feels that way and pressured me into my own.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 00:24     Subject: Re:If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
I would, yes. But I’ve always known I wanted kids
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 00:23     Subject: If it was the norm not to have kids, would you still have them?
If most people in society (>50%) chose to never have kids, would you? This is assuming your “circle” has these stats too.

I love my kids but I probably wouldn’t…