Anonymous wrote:You can’t be serious. They can’t give a reason you should hold your daughter back — behavioral, academic readiness, social, emotional — because there isn’t one! They want money from you for another year. That’s it. I definitely would not red shirt and I’d frankly be ticked off that her school cares more about making money off of you than your daughter’s academic growth. Gross.

OP here. My husband feels the way you feel. I was surprised, but can be swayed either way. However, I am beyond annoyed/frustrated and it is changing my outlook on the school.

You can’t be serious. They can’t give a reason you should hold your daughter back — behavioral, academic readiness, social, emotional — because there isn’t one! They want money from you for another year. That’s it. I definitely would not red shirt and I’d frankly be ticked off that her school cares more about making money off of you than your daughter’s academic growth. Gross.

Anonymous wrote:They are running a business and get more money out of you this way. I have a June bday DD and she went on time. Started in public, homeschooled for 3rd because of Covid, then went private for 4th. She’s doing great socially and academically. No regrets.

How if the school gets the same number of years out of a student? The student is starting at the earliest grade so not repeating a grade at the school.

Anonymous wrote:They are running a business and get more money out of you this way. I have a June bday DD and she went on time. Started in public, homeschooled for 3rd because of Covid, then went private for 4th. She’s doing great socially and academically. No regrets.

Exactly this.

No, don’t do that to her.

we redshirted our June girl. no regrets. she's in 4th now, not the oldest but one of them. however, when I see the 5th graders, I know it was the right decision. there is no way she'd be thriving being the youngest in her class.

she'll be one of the first to drive, instead of the last. less drama between the kids, etc.

and, when she's a senior in hs - it's another year she'll be at home with her parents.

Of my daughter's friend group in her DC Public School:
I know 2 Sept girls red-shirted, 2 August girls red-shirted, and 2 July girls who were "reclassed" when the parents moved.

They are running a business and get more money out of you this way. I have a June bday DD and she went on time. Started in public, homeschooled for 3rd because of Covid, then went private for 4th. She’s doing great socially and academically. No regrets.

My daughters are August and September birthdays and went on-time (i.e., not red-shirted). It seems the suggestion to have your daughter repeat pre-K is more related to her school's birthday cut-off. My daughters were ready to go so they went, but they're in public.

Anonymous wrote:We redshirted my DD. She was born 5 days before the cutoff and was socially/emotionally immature. It was a great choice for her. She has never been the oldest in the class as there are always June-July kids that are redshirted. She has always been in private and from her preschool years, I can’t think of any girl or boy with a May-August birthday who went on time. All of this to say that my DD was never an exception.
My middle (like one PP above) has an end of October birthday and she would have been fine/great being the youngest. Her best friends are a girl 3 week older than her and a girl 8 months younger. It makes no difference when they are 8+

OP here. This is helpful. When we asked why, we were told because of her birthday and [they] are having the conversation with many other families in the same position. They could not (or did not) indicate anything in particular from her interview/playdate that made them concerned. From our limited view, it seems the school (private) is making a shift to these new cutoffs. We have an older son at the school who was redshirted (same early summer birth month), but it was, more or less, an easy yes.

What about during puberty and such? That was where my mind went with being the oldest.

We redshirted my DD. She was born 5 days before the cutoff and was socially/emotionally immature. It was a great choice for her. She has never been the oldest in the class as there are always June-July kids that are redshirted. She has always been in private and from her preschool years, I can’t think of any girl or boy with a May-August birthday who went on time. All of this to say that my DD was never an exception.
My middle (like one PP above) has an end of October birthday and she would have been fine/great being the youngest. Her best friends are a girl 3 week older than her and a girl 8 months younger. It makes no difference when they are 8+

We are in Baltimore, where there is more of a culture of red shirting, for boys and girls. My DD is in upper school now and one of the oldest in her class. I think it’s helped her honestly - she’s a bit more mature and able to stay out of the girl drama that seems constant. She is also at the top of her class, I think because she has a huge amount of discipline re getting her work done, working on weekends etc. I imagine she’d be that way no matter what, however. I do think it’s easier up here where kids understand the whole prefirst thing and she had legit medical issues that necessitated it.

If they're suggesting it, there's probably a good reason that's specific to her. Or they're gently telling you she has ADHD. In general, though, I don't think it's a good idea. Girls mature so much faster. I wouldn't want my daughter to be the oldest girl by a year. They need to relate to their peers so much. Girls are so social and having peers on the same page makes like so much easier.

It depends on the kid, OP. There seems to be such a focus on these boards WRT redshirting and gender but the fact is, some kids do fine being the youngest regardless of their gender, and some do not. My DD is one of the oldest not by choice (she's got a mid-October bday and missed the cutoff). She would have done fine being one of the youngest in the next grade, but she's a younger sibling, always been very independent and able to advocate for herself. One of her good friends is the absolute youngest in their grade (late summer bday) and is thriving too. Another friend is about a month older than my DD and had repeated K after not having a good experience as the youngest. So if you've got experts recommending that your DD hang back, there is probably a reason for it.

Does anyone have insight on "redshirting" a GIRL? And specifically a girl who does not have an August or September birthday, but an early summer birthday. We spoke to a school and this is what was recommended. She would do two years of PK. One in public and one in private. She would be 5 in PK at the private. All I hear and read is about boys and all the benefits there. Do those translate to girls? There seems to be very little regarding the impact on girls being the oldest.