Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did your colleague who noticed it say? Is this typical for this person with new hires?

They said that they felt like he acts condescending toward me and that it rubbed them the wrong way

What exactly is he saying? Did he hire you?

He and a few others Amin the department shared the hiring decision, I think.

It is hard to convey the condescension out of context. Not one specific comment, more of a general attitude. For example, he will stop and explain simple things to me that are perfectly obvious and things I already understand and know, and yet not explain things and more complicated issues that are quite important for me to know in order for me to do my job. I am simplifying but as an example, in a meeting: “this may be new to you, Diane, but what we do in marketing is promote the products that we design and we have a budget that we follow.” But then our dept will have a lengthy discussion on a key issue and he will offer me no background information on the history of what has happened- things I would never know unless someone told me. I usually need to get that from someone else. And then just avoiding real discussion with me and instead talking about fluff topics with me. Also, the only praise he has given me is for things unrelated to my job description. I’d rather he not give any praise at all. It’s equivalent to telling a lawyer that they are good at answering phone calls and taking messages.

Try to let it roll off as much as you can. You’re there for a job, just do the job and put in a year or two and then you can move laterally or to a new company. It’s a good sign that others are noticing, just continue to perform as the professional you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did your colleague who noticed it say? Is this typical for this person with new hires?

They said that they felt like he acts condescending toward me and that it rubbed them the wrong way

That is good that others have noticed and that they seem to like you and think his behavior is out of line. The colleague who was condescending to you was probably a bad apple, and the general culture is okay if that is the case.

Anonymous wrote:Get your experience and move on after a year or two. This kind of thing only gets worse and it usually masks more nefarious backstabbing.

This!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did your colleague who noticed it say? Is this typical for this person with new hires?

They said that they felt like he acts condescending toward me and that it rubbed them the wrong way

What exactly is he saying? Did he hire you?

Don’t be deferential! Don’t have a chip on your shoulder about your years at home. Be confident. Fake it till you make it. Did I use enough corporate lingo in this post??

Get your experience and move on after a year or two. This kind of thing only gets worse and it usually masks more nefarious backstabbing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did your colleague who noticed it say? Is this typical for this person with new hires?

They said that they felt like he acts condescending toward me and that it rubbed them the wrong way

He is newer than most of the others in the department, or have been there about the same amount of time. So I guess there is not a lot of precedent for him dealing with a new hire.

Anonymous wrote:What did your colleague who noticed it say? Is this typical for this person with new hires?

They said that they felt like he acts condescending toward me and that it rubbed them the wrong way

What did your colleague who noticed it say? Is this typical for this person with new hires?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been out of the workforce for over 8 years, and just re-entering. I am feeling a bit wobbly and out of practice.

The issue I am having now is that the person I report to, a male, is condescending to me. I realize I am just starting out, and at first I thought it was just my imagination, but now another colleague of mine has also mentioned it without prompting.

Any advice on how to handle this? I have to tread carefully, as I am new, and I am still trying to get a feel for the culture, and also I report to this person so I want to have a good working relationship.

I have been grinding at top firms in my industry for 15 years and my boss is still condescending to me. It's more reflective of his narcissism, not your actual ability.

I agree with this poster here.

Anonymous wrote:I've been out of the workforce for over 8 years, and just re-entering. I am feeling a bit wobbly and out of practice.

The issue I am having now is that the person I report to, a male, is condescending to me. I realize I am just starting out, and at first I thought it was just my imagination, but now another colleague of mine has also mentioned it without prompting.

Any advice on how to handle this? I have to tread carefully, as I am new, and I am still trying to get a feel for the culture, and also I report to this person so I want to have a good working relationship.

I have been grinding at top firms in my industry for 15 years and my boss is still condescending to me. It's more reflective of his narcissism, not your actual ability.

Anonymous wrote:My advice is to not overthink it. Is his behavior specific to just you? If so, you might consider scheduling time with him to ask for feedback on your performance thus far. That gives him an opportunity to express any concerns he has about the quality of your work. If he says everything is fine, then I'd just ignore his behavior. Some people are just like that.

Yes, the condescension is specific to just me, at least within the realm of work. It could be because I am new, or maybe he thinks I lack experience, or maybe because I am a minority, or maybe I am just coming off initially as too deferential and he's mistaking that as lack of confidence.

I can ask to schedule a time to meet for feedback. That will give me more to work with.

My advice is to not overthink it. Is his behavior specific to just you? If so, you might consider scheduling time with him to ask for feedback on your performance thus far. That gives him an opportunity to express any concerns he has about the quality of your work. If he says everything is fine, then I'd just ignore his behavior. Some people are just like that.

I've been out of the workforce for over 8 years, and just re-entering. I am feeling a bit wobbly and out of practice.

The issue I am having now is that the person I report to, a male, is condescending to me. I realize I am just starting out, and at first I thought it was just my imagination, but now another colleague of mine has also mentioned it without prompting.

Any advice on how to handle this? I have to tread carefully, as I am new, and I am still trying to get a feel for the culture, and also I report to this person so I want to have a good working relationship.