Anonymous wrote:
She doesn’t care about rules. It does not matter if we say, no toys at the the table or in the car. She has no respect for what we tell her to do if it opposes what she wants. If we take away privileges as a punishment she just screams and flips out and has an epic meltdown that can take 20 minutes to get her to reset.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For my 6yo ADHD son, we just don't do independence during the school/work week. We tried it and it just caused us to be late and yelling/miserable constantly. Instead, if he won't get out of bed we carry him downstairs to the couch. We then get his clothes and help him dress. Next we stand by the bathroom door making sure he does everything he needs to do. We get him breakfast and sit next to him while he eats. When it's time to go, we get his shoes and help him put them on and then grab his jacket while walking out the door. It stinks but the alternative was exactly what you describe. We practice independence on the weekends and holidays. That's our bandwidth right now.
You should be practicing independence everyday. I understand difficulty in the morning but practice it at night if you must. They aren’t going to gain independence just by doing it on the weekend and holidays. They needed repetition. You are setting him up to be dependent on you for basic life skills well past the age he should need that.
Anonymous wrote:Stop catering to her adhd, as that’s what you’re doing. You allow her to sleep in. You allow her toys at the table. You allow her to get up from the table. You excuse your constant reminders to eat because teachers aren’t doing their job ID implementing services at lunch (or you just didn’t get those lunch services written into the IEP yet), you make her special foods that she doesn’t eat because oh dear she’s picky and wouldn’t eat otherwise, you allow skin picking rather than finding a way to redirect and insist she must Bm at a certain time, you allow her to have toys during morning routine and in the car.
You have to stop catering to her needs and blaming her bad behavior and your lack of parenting on the adhd. Put a schedule in place for the morning and follow it, no excuses. If she doesn’t get out of bed pick her up and carry her to the bathroom. If she gets up from the table breakfast it’s finished and you move to the next step in the routine. Practice the routine, do it the same way every single time. Do not lose patience, do not even speak to give instructions use gestures or pictures, etc.
And get some parent training because at this rate she’s going to be running your household by age 10.
You are the parents, she’s the child. Act like it.
Anonymous wrote:For my 6yo ADHD son, we just don't do independence during the school/work week. We tried it and it just caused us to be late and yelling/miserable constantly. Instead, if he won't get out of bed we carry him downstairs to the couch. We then get his clothes and help him dress. Next we stand by the bathroom door making sure he does everything he needs to do. We get him breakfast and sit next to him while he eats. When it's time to go, we get his shoes and help him put them on and then grab his jacket while walking out the door. It stinks but the alternative was exactly what you describe. We practice independence on the weekends and holidays. That's our bandwidth right now.