In my (American) family there was no bedsharing, except when we were homeless and my brother and I shared a bed in the apartment we were staying in. But that was necessity.

On some mornings we'd go snuggle with our parents in their bed for maybe 10 minutes but that's it. Same with our grandparents - run into their bed in the morning for a few minutes, and then go get dressed.

I slept with my grandma when I was a child. It was wonderful. She used to sing me these silly songs. I sing them to my kids now. Lovely memories for me.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We’re all American. Kids go along with it because she acts like it’s a really special treat and something to be excited about. Which then feels weirder to me, but I am open to hearing experiences of people who coslept when visiting grandparents. Perhaps it’s a sweet bonding experience or something.

I would have never slept in the same bed as my grandma, but she and I were not close. A friend of mine loved to cosleep with her grandma. They were very close. I think the question is do the kids feel like it is special or do they feel pressured?

OP here. I have no history of sexual abuse or trauma, I simply never shared a bed with relatives.

WTF? No more visits.

I slept with my grandmother when I was little. It was fun because she had so many night time rituals. I remember she would make me a cup of warm chocolate milk, insist that I brushed my teeth with a toothpaste that tasted like cloves or fennel, make sure that I washed my feet, hands and face at night and rubbed some kind of rose smelling cream on my hands and feet I slept. It felt luxurious and very grown up. She had a lovely room. Very feminine. She would brush and braid her hair. Use satin pillow cases. Had body pillows when body pillows was not even a thing. Had . one large pillow that was triangular that you could prop yourself against. Also had sofas and recliner in her bedroom. Lots of talcum powder. I slept until I was maybe a teen. She passed away a few years after I got married. I loved her. She smelled like the most wonderful blend of spices. How? She was soft and delicate and smelled amazing. Very fastidious.

OP, would you feel differently if it were grandpa insisting on bed sharing.

My cousin and I would stay with our grandmas (sisters) and have sleepovers with all four of us in the bed. I can’t believe they put up with it but we loved it.

When my mom got older and my father died, she every now and then wanted me to sleep in her big bed with her when I visited. She just missed the company. It wasn’t sexual at all. Not sure if her husband has not been there a while or it’s recent but if recent she might be lonely.

OP here. We’re all American. Kids go along with it because she acts like it’s a really special treat and something to be excited about. Which then feels weirder to me, but I am open to hearing experiences of people who coslept when visiting grandparents. Perhaps it’s a sweet bonding experience or something.

What do the kids think about it? My kids will share a bed with my parents but not my in laws. We don’t have a guest room so my parents take one of the kids rooms and the kids will sleep in our room on the floor sometimes, or in bed with them sometimes.

I would never coerce my kids (or the grandparents!) into bed sharing. When you say your mom insists, do the kids not want to sleep with her?

I think it may be cultural? When I was a kud once in a while I would share the bed with grandma or aunt when visiting their place. I did cosleeping regularly with my own kid until 1st grade (not uncommon in other cultures but I know in USA is a big no)

Anonymous wrote:…when elementary aged-grandkids come to visit. We did not cosleep growing up and I find this a little weird. She insists on “overnights” and genuinely loves the idea of sharing a bed at night. Is this just a grandmotherly thing?

Yuck! If I were her grandchildren. I would not visit her

Impossible to say without knowing the people involved. I assume this is your partner's mother?

When I spent the night with my maternal grandmother I always slept in her bed with her. With my paternal grandmother, I did not and it would have been weird just because that was not our precedent.

…when elementary aged-grandkids come to visit. We did not cosleep growing up and I find this a little weird. She insists on “overnights” and genuinely loves the idea of sharing a bed at night. Is this just a grandmotherly thing?