I am sure the original girl feels like she did something wrong now that this story has gone viral. She shouldn't feel bad but I bet she does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

Everyone agreed that it was okay for the girl to say no. Nobody is shaming the girl for saying no.

If you were a 14 year old girl, and people were publicizing a poster that says "She should have said yes" and "You can do getter than her", and the whole cafeteria was cheering them on, and it went viral, you wouldn't have felt embarrassed?

Yes, his mother said she wasn't upset that she said no. But his mother isn't "everyone" especially in the eyes of a teenage girl.

There are plenty of ways that classmates could have made him feel included, that weren't so public.

But this is the way they chose to respond and the boy was thrilled. Plus, it helped to reinforce positive sense of inclusive community … They may well do other less public things to make him feel included as well but subtlety is not a strong suit for most youth on ASD.

We constantly highlight all the stuff teens and tweens are doing wrong or struggling with - it is good to be honest but it is also good to celebrate kindness and collective wins.

You are right to be sensitive to the girl who said no. That was her right and it must have felt super awkward. It is easier to be kind and inclusive when it is a shared community value and action.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

Everyone agreed that it was okay for the girl to say no. Nobody is shaming the girl for saying no.

If you were a 14 year old girl, and people were publicizing a poster that says "She should have said yes" and "You can do getter than her", and the whole cafeteria was cheering them on, and it went viral, you wouldn't have felt embarrassed?

Yes, his mother said she wasn't upset that she said no. But his mother isn't "everyone" especially in the eyes of a teenage girl.

There are plenty of ways that classmates could have made him feel included, that weren't so public.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

Yeah, this isn't an uplifting story to me.

That poor girl. To have the entire cafeteria shame you for saying no to a boy? And then it goes viral?" That's really undeserved. Not respecting girls' right to say no to unwanted advances is never OK.

I agree on some abstract level and if the boys projecting their amor clumsily are neurotypical and can read social cues. This teen is on the ASD and didn’t realize how awkward and inappropriate that he was being. The mother was horrified when she found out and did not blame the girl at all.

There was no mention that the girl was shamed but just that others stepped in to make him feel loved and included in the school community. There is so much bullying online and in person in schools that they youth who went out of their comfort zones to show inclusivity are admirable to me.

I totally agree with you though that youth not accepting rejection or the end of previous affections gracefully is not OK. There is a tsunami of revenge porn out there and it makes my blood boil …

Anonymous wrote:I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

Everyone agreed that it was okay for the girl to say no. Nobody is shaming the girl for saying no.

Anonymous wrote:I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

OP
That sounds rough for your daughter.

In the story the mom said her son did not mention his plans to make a grand gesture in public or she would have tried to talk him out of it. She also said she was not mad with the girl who rejected him as it may have been super awkward as a freshman in the cafeteria with all eyes on her. However, she was delighted and heartened by the response of so many other teen girls to collectively ask him to be their valentine and write lovely messages to him. The young man went from being crushed to glowing with pride and has the hand made poster and cards in his room.

It does sound like the young man your daughter rejected was being unkind and spiteful. Sorry for your DD.

Anonymous wrote:I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

Yeah, this isn't an uplifting story to me.

That poor girl. To have the entire cafeteria shame you for saying no to a boy? And then it goes viral?" That's really undeserved. Not respecting girls' right to say no to unwanted advances is never OK.

I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

Anonymous wrote:This is so, so weird

What the f*** is your problem?!

Anonymous wrote:This is so, so weird

??!

Anonymous wrote:This is so, so weird

Why would you find an upbeat story about kind teen responses to a neuro-diverse young man’s public and crushing rejection on VD weird?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This Valentine’s Day story about empathetic teen girls in Colorado (towards a peer with ASD) made me cry … it wasn’t splashy or planned in advance - just very kind and creative gestures of inclusion …

I am sharing with my teen DD … 😀 👏🏽 👏🏽👏🏽

https://share.newsbreak.com/32ut7ewf

The NewsBreak app is free and aims to provide stories from both left and right wing media .. but I will try and get link to original story …

Here it is


https://www.today.com/parents/teens/teen-publicly-rejected-gets-kind-valentines-classmates-rcna70965

This is so, so weird

Anonymous wrote:This Valentine’s Day story about empathetic teen girls in Colorado (towards a peer with ASD) made me cry … it wasn’t splashy or planned in advance - just very kind and creative gestures of inclusion …

I am sharing with my teen DD … 😀 👏🏽 👏🏽👏🏽

https://share.newsbreak.com/32ut7ewf

The NewsBreak app is free and aims to provide stories from both left and right wing media .. but I will try and get link to original story …

This Valentine’s Day story about empathetic teen girls in Colorado (towards a peer with ASD) made me cry … it wasn’t splashy or planned in advance - just very kind and creative gestures of inclusion …

I am sharing with my teen DD … 😀 👏🏽 👏🏽👏🏽

https://share.newsbreak.com/32ut7ewf