39 when I got pregnant easily with DH who turned out to have very severe MF.

Late 41 found out about DH's MF issues when we tried for a second (we went in after 4 months given my age, DH is younger). I had great #s and both grandmothers had kids in their early 40s, so seemed possible. My egg quality was crap and/or higher doses of meds weren't good for quality (I did get lots of eggs, but what I consider the best round was a low dose/mini-IVF round - positive pregnancy that ended very early and 9 eggs, so not even that mini). Did 9 rounds total (mini was last one and I wanted to be done) and went to known donor. Pregnant on first try with donor egg just shy of 44 and easy pregnancy. I'd say I wish I'd done the donor earlier, but it took me some time to get the donor lined up and get comfortable with how I would do that. I have no issues with the idea of having a child that doesn't have my DNA, but I researched how kids deal with it and how to tell them, etc. which is why/how it took a while and we ended up with a known donor - known in that we have her name and info and we talked to her directly, but she isn't a friend or relative. So we really turned to the donor process early and did them in parallel pretty early on. We had good insurance coverage so it wasn't 9 rounds out of pocket.

Good numbers don't guarantee much at 43, but obviously it's possible. IVF is very stressful for most people, even if it's not physically too taxing (I found the physical part pretty easy).

Best wishes in making your decisions. I hope things work out well whatever you decide.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coming back to say...how old is your daughter? Autism is strongly genetic. I would assume at your age that your next child could very likely have Austism too. Your daughter may be too long to know yet the amount of therapies and effort that takes, but is that something you want to take on?

Come on! Most families with an autistic kid do not have two.

NP: ASD has a tendency to run in families, but the inheritance pattern is usually unknown. I personally know many families where 2-3 male siblings are all on the spectrum. I also know families of 5 kids where only 1 of the kids have ASD. There is still so much to know and learn about Autism—I think you both are correct.

That said, Autism in females is rare and the fact she is high functioning is wonderful. While your numbers are great, your egg quality is still that of a 43yo. Tough decisions—best of luck in whatever you choose.

Anonymous wrote:Coming back to say...how old is your daughter? Autism is strongly genetic. I would assume at your age that your next child could very likely have Austism too. Your daughter may be too long to know yet the amount of therapies and effort that takes, but is that something you want to take on?

Come on! Most families with an autistic kid do not have two.

I had horrible numbers (told to use do it egg or adopt) and IVF worked for me at 37, so I’d say yes, try it and see what happens.

How old is DC1? We had another before we knew DC1 had autism, and it's been a hard, hard road.

I was 41 with good numbers when I did my first IVF.
I was successful on my first try.

I tried for DC #2 at age 43 with good numbers and failed 2x with my own eggs then moved to DE

Anonymous wrote:I'm 38 and can't get pregnant / stay pregnant with good numbers

+ 1 (hugs)

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. Yes, I do worry about autism. But my DC is overall delightful. She is very high functioning, and I feel lucky to have her.

We have a no extended family under 50. This weighs heavily into my desire for one more child.

Sounds like she will be the type to event something that will rescue humanity .
If you are thinking you want another child, this is the last chance. I am 41, similar situation in terms of fertility numbers. My first was via IVF. We start again in a few weeks.

OP here. Thanks all. Yes, I do worry about autism. But my DC is overall delightful. She is very high functioning, and I feel lucky to have her.

We have a no extended family under 50. This weighs heavily into my desire for one more child.

I was 40 with much worse numbers and conceived naturally/

At 43, I’d try IVF but also keep going naturally in the meantime. I thought CoQ10 helped me a lot, but I don’t have “evidence” that it did.

Coming back to say...how old is your daughter? Autism is strongly genetic. I would assume at your age that your next child could very likely have Austism too. Your daughter may be too long to know yet the amount of therapies and effort that takes, but is that something you want to take on?

I'm 38 and can't get pregnant / stay pregnant with good numbers

It didn’t work for me and I quickly moved to donor egg, but it was for my first child. If you can comfortably afford it I’d try so you don’t have regrets later.

I was 43.5 when I did a miniIVF protocol at New Hope Fertility in NYC. I got 3 eggs. The last one worked and split into two so identical twins. I was 44.5 at implantation. Good luck with your decision.

I'm very much not sure how to proceed. AMH is 6.2. FSH is 8. Doctor says these are good levels. Before I get too excited, anyone here have great number and have IVF fail?

Honestly, I am very much on the fence as DC1 was just diagnosed with autism, and I'm not sure if I should just focus on her. And that plus my age makes me feel really weird about thisl