Anonymous wrote:Funeral arrangements including anything prepaid, burial vs cremation. Any details on a funeral or memorial service - funeral home, church, music selections, etc.

And write the obituary with them. My Dad was in hospice and it was the one thing I didn’t do. So when it came time to write it, there were lots of blanks and I had no way of finding it out.

Romney bragging he’s got binders full of aging parents…

Have them sign medical and financial power of attorney documents so you or one of your siblings can handle their medical and financial matters legally when they are no longer able to.

I think first they need to sign them for each other so mom can do it for dad and visa versa. Then when both are incompetent, that responsibility needs to roll over to one of your siblings.

This is really important!

Anonymous wrote:Email passwords, passwords for their phones, passwords for other online accounts.

I am in the throes of this now, and online access and updated POA seem to be among the most crucial items to have access to.

Funeral arrangements including anything prepaid, burial vs cremation. Any details on a funeral or memorial service - funeral home, church, music selections, etc.

I thought you meant like a C-section binder for hernias or something, or like a manssiere.

Not what you asked for, but another suggestion: get your name on the checking account. My mother had a series of mini strokes and was in the hospital and then rehab for a few weeks. I was easily able to set up on-line banking and pay her bills. Especially important if you don't live nearby.

Gentle prompting will not work.

I interviewed my mother to ask her wishes and create a will for her. Downloaded a template, filled it out with exactly what she said she wanted. Printed three copies for each of her kids.

She's never signed them. They're still in her filing cabinet with the little flags I stuck to them "Sign here."

On the plus side, we all now know what she wants and we're not contentious, so her wishes will be respected. She's just not ready to admit that will someday happen.

And she's 80.

Thanks all, these suggestions are so helpful.

Name and number of doctors, and proof that they put your names on the HIPPA paperwork.

List of medications, periodically check that it hasn’t changed. (If they end up in the ER, thats one of the first things they need)

Here’s an outline:

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/info-2018/organize-financial-records.html

And here are Amazon links to three books that help you organize and determine what information might be helpful. I think having a book is useful— since it provides structure as well as useful detailed information.

https://www.amazon.com/Peace-Mind-Planner-Information-Belongings/dp/1441317295/ref=sr_1_5?crid=263ECK2PAI323&keywords=organizing+paperwork+for+caregivers+of+elderly+parents&qid=1676239573&s=books&sprefix=organizing+paperwork+for+caregivers+of+elderly+parents%2Cstripbooks%2C87&sr=1-5-catcorr


https://www.amazon.com/Important-Information-Belongings-Business-Affairs/dp/1441317996/ref=sr_1_1?crid=263ECK2PAI323&keywords=organizing+paperwork+for+caregivers+of+elderly+parents&qid=1676239573&s=books&sprefix=organizing+paperwork+for+caregivers+of+elderly+parents%2Cstripbooks%2C87&sr=1-1-catcorr


https://www.amazon.com/Putting-Things-Order-help-loved/dp/B0716Z62GZ/ref=pd_bxgy_vft_none_img_sccl_1/133-8676976-1463403?pd_rd_w=hQ8aD&content-id=amzn1.sym.7f0cf323-50c6-49e3-b3f9-63546bb79c92&pf_rd_p=7f0cf323-50c6-49e3-b3f9-63546bb79c92&pf_rd_r=FHS8P89T7C9R0AKWG88D&pd_rd_wg=txkSp&pd_rd_r=bed0f66c-d21e-42e3-a392-197e93e2e903&pd_rd_i=B0716Z62GZ&psc=1

Email passwords, passwords for their phones, passwords for other online accounts.

Location of safe deposit box and key. Also, it could be good to have a checking account and a credit card that one of their kids can sign.

— information about pensions, retirement, and other income payments that will need to be cancelled asap.

— The names of their lawyer, accountant, Faith leaders, etc.

I don’t know your parents, but instead of “gently prompting “ them, it might be a LOT easier for everyone if you took on the responsibility for doing this yourself.

They have ready made books and binders for doing this if you’d like a template.

Location of any safe deposit boxes and keys

My parents are thankfully in great health, but they're both over 70 now. Having been through this with extended family a few times, I want to gather a binder for me and my siblings now, while it's easy. Would love to get anyone's take on other things that should be in there. My hope is to gently prompt them to make this binder and then tuck it away. They're not great at paperwork so finding this stuff in their absence would be a huge pain whether it is me or one of them. I know it might not be updated but it would be a backstop:

- copy of wills
- any desires related to medical care
- any death care directives
- list of financial accounts with passwords
- list of insurance policies with policy numbers
- copies of birth certificates, driver's license & social security cards
- mortgage and deed documents for their house

Anything else?