Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some married men put separated on the apps. I came across 2 when I was looking for a single partner (I am single). Both offered me certain terms with “allowance”. They needed confidentiality, me providing STD test, not having sex with others, so they could have oral/PIV with no protection. They looked specifically for this profile: a divorced good looking 40 smth woman with low body count (preferably after a long marriage not looking to remarry), and a child in financial need who would keep her mouth shut and could provide a long term “arrangement”. That was eharmony not a sugar dating site. I guess they used the site as it doesn’t show picture until you pay for a expensive subscription.
Both were law partners - one 60+ another 51 (very attractive 6’3 and athletic which is why I came out for the date). I am independently wealthy one percenter just listened to this crap on first date out of curiosity what men look for. But I can imagine some women are interested if that’s such a common thing.

This is awful. Basically taking advantage of women who need money to support their child.
Good luck OP. I hope you can fix your marriage or find a solution that won’t break your family.
This is why I stay fit and have sec with my husband even when I don’t want to… I don’t get why women can’t just put up with this as they put up with other things. My DH puts up with me and my moods/need for space all the time. I can do this for him.

They are smart cookies and that’s probably what many wealthy men in DC are doing. I never expected being approached for sugar arrangement on a serous dating site in my 40s! They both specifically were looking for that age group and thin ladies (the older one said it’s very hard to find). I asked why me - they said that younger women would start sleeping around looking for husbands exposing them to STDs or get pregnant, fall in love, tell wife, start pursuing them etc. The conversation starts like “ you are a very nice woman and I do respect you. You do have a child, does your ex pay a good CS? I can help you with your child needs, and share some of my lifestyle with you”. And so on. 60 yo expected me to accompany him on business trips for example. The allowance was around $7k plus travel and out of town expensive dates experience. Just to give an idea. It’s probably a very small expense for men in big law.

If they weren't cheating I would actually go for this arrangement.

It isn't as easy as you thing to find a safe, non-committal relationship with someone who is reasably fit after 45.

Anonymous wrote:At work is the easiest way. People flirted with me at work, invited me for lunch, talked to me about past affairs, etc. once I said no to lunch they stopped, so you need to know when to stop, because you don’t want to harass a coworker.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some married men put separated on the apps. I came across 2 when I was looking for a single partner (I am single). Both offered me certain terms with “allowance”. They needed confidentiality, me providing STD test, not having sex with others, so they could have oral/PIV with no protection. They looked specifically for this profile: a divorced good looking 40 smth woman with low body count (preferably after a long marriage not looking to remarry), and a child in financial need who would keep her mouth shut and could provide a long term “arrangement”. That was eharmony not a sugar dating site. I guess they used the site as it doesn’t show picture until you pay for a expensive subscription.
Both were law partners - one 60+ another 51 (very attractive 6’3 and athletic which is why I came out for the date). I am independently wealthy one percenter just listened to this crap on first date out of curiosity what men look for. But I can imagine some women are interested if that’s such a common thing.

This is awful. Basically taking advantage of women who need money to support their child.
Good luck OP. I hope you can fix your marriage or find a solution that won’t break your family.
This is why I stay fit and have sec with my husband even when I don’t want to… I don’t get why women can’t just put up with this as they put up with other things. My DH puts up with me and my moods/need for space all the time. I can do this for him.

They are smart cookies and that’s probably what many wealthy men in DC are doing. I never expected being approached for sugar arrangement on a serous dating site in my 40s! They both specifically were looking for that age group and thin ladies (the older one said it’s very hard to find). I asked why me - they said that younger women would start sleeping around looking for husbands exposing them to STDs or get pregnant, fall in love, tell wife, start pursuing them etc. The conversation starts like “ you are a very nice woman and I do respect you. You do have a child, does your ex pay a good CS? I can help you with your child needs, and share some of my lifestyle with you”. And so on. 60 yo expected me to accompany him on business trips for example. The allowance was around $7k plus travel and out of town expensive dates experience. Just to give an idea. It’s probably a very small expense for men in big law.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some married men put separated on the apps. I came across 2 when I was looking for a single partner (I am single). Both offered me certain terms with “allowance”. They needed confidentiality, me providing STD test, not having sex with others, so they could have oral/PIV with no protection. They looked specifically for this profile: a divorced good looking 40 smth woman with low body count (preferably after a long marriage not looking to remarry), and a child in financial need who would keep her mouth shut and could provide a long term “arrangement”. That was eharmony not a sugar dating site. I guess they used the site as it doesn’t show picture until you pay for a expensive subscription.
Both were law partners - one 60+ another 51 (very attractive 6’3 and athletic which is why I came out for the date). I am independently wealthy one percenter just listened to this crap on first date out of curiosity what men look for. But I can imagine some women are interested if that’s such a common thing.

This is awful. Basically taking advantage of women who need money to support their child.
Good luck OP. I hope you can fix your marriage or find a solution that won’t break your family.
This is why I stay fit and have sec with my husband even when I don’t want to… I don’t get why women can’t just put up with this as they put up with other things. My DH puts up with me and my moods/need for space all the time. I can do this for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some married men put separated on the apps. I came across 2 when I was looking for a single partner (I am single). Both offered me certain terms with “allowance”. They needed confidentiality, me providing STD test, not having sex with others, so they could have oral/PIV with no protection. They looked specifically for this profile: a divorced good looking 40 smth woman with low body count (preferably after a long marriage not looking to remarry), and a child in financial need who would keep her mouth shut and could provide a long term “arrangement”. That was eharmony not a sugar dating site. I guess they used the site as it doesn’t show picture until you pay for a expensive subscription.
Both were law partners - one 60+ another 51 (very attractive 6’3 and athletic which is why I came out for the date). I am independently wealthy one percenter just listened to this crap on first date out of curiosity what men look for. But I can imagine some women are interested if that’s such a common thing.

This is awful. Basically taking advantage of women who need money to support their child.
Good luck OP. I hope you can fix your marriage or find a solution that won’t break your family.
This is why I stay fit and have sec with my husband even when I don’t want to… I don’t get why women can’t just put up with this as they put up with other things. My DH puts up with me and my moods/need for space all the time. I can do this for him.

Taking advantage? From PP's description, it sounds as if the men described the arrangement up front. The ones who exploit are the liars.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some married men put separated on the apps. I came across 2 when I was looking for a single partner (I am single). Both offered me certain terms with “allowance”. They needed confidentiality, me providing STD test, not having sex with others, so they could have oral/PIV with no protection. They looked specifically for this profile: a divorced good looking 40 smth woman with low body count (preferably after a long marriage not looking to remarry), and a child in financial need who would keep her mouth shut and could provide a long term “arrangement”. That was eharmony not a sugar dating site. I guess they used the site as it doesn’t show picture until you pay for a expensive subscription.
Both were law partners - one 60+ another 51 (very attractive 6’3 and athletic which is why I came out for the date). I am independently wealthy one percenter just listened to this crap on first date out of curiosity what men look for. But I can imagine some women are interested if that’s such a common thing.

This is awful. Basically taking advantage of women who need money to support their child.
Good luck OP. I hope you can fix your marriage or find a solution that won’t break your family.
This is why I stay fit and have sec with my husband even when I don’t want to… I don’t get why women can’t just put up with this as they put up with other things. My DH puts up with me and my moods/need for space all the time. I can do this for him.

Anonymous wrote:Some married men put separated on the apps. I came across 2 when I was looking for a single partner (I am single). Both offered me certain terms with “allowance”. They needed confidentiality, me providing STD test, not having sex with others, so they could have oral/PIV with no protection. They looked specifically for this profile: a divorced good looking 40 smth woman with low body count (preferably after a long marriage not looking to remarry), and a child in financial need who would keep her mouth shut and could provide a long term “arrangement”. That was eharmony not a sugar dating site. I guess they used the site as it doesn’t show picture until you pay for a expensive subscription.
Both were law partners - one 60+ another 51 (very attractive 6’3 and athletic which is why I came out for the date). I am independently wealthy one percenter just listened to this crap on first date out of curiosity what men look for. But I can imagine some women are interested if that’s such a common thing.

Anonymous wrote:What are the best ways? Do apps really work? Straight married man here. Accomplished professionally, relatively attractive for middle aged professional.

(To preempt the irrelevant questions: wife has lost all interest in sex, gained 50 pounds, and refuses to try losing weight. But we still get along fine and I don’t want to divorce which would crush the kids.)