I definitely stop trying when people don't reciprocate.

However, it's not necessary to host playdates at your house, either. It's all about making an effort.

Just ask if they want to meet at a playground on Saturday morning or something along those lines.

You are not onbligated to have expensive birthday party for kids who will not even remember them.

What’s sh&tty is if you don’t invite a kid because they didnt have their own party. All parents aren’t the social planner types. Seems like some parents are having birthday parties for social credit and not for the kid. Its getting out of hand.

I went through a hard time and just couldn’t handle getting my house ready to host for a couple years (complicated situation involving SN sibling.) I still wanted my kids to keep friends so I would reciprocate by inviting friends to the playground or to go events, zoo, etc with us. I think it worked—the kids’ friends still invited them to their houses.

I think people just want to feel like you want to see them and are making an effort.

You need to reciprocate, OP. It's shitty of you not to. Also, you're not teaching your kids good manners.

I will happily invite over a kid whose family doesn't reciprocate (and do). People have different living situations. I know our house is safe and kids will be supervised appropriately. I am not going to have the parents' ability to host getting in the way of my kids friendships.

Anonymous wrote:Oh, really pity your children. God made them likeable and social. But, you are incapable of teaching them how to be social and also host/ reciprocate. You are the reason that they will grow up to be anti-social, awkward weirdos.

Who peed in your cheerios?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t have birthday parties? That seems sadder to me than not having play dates.

+ 1
Why do people have children if they cannot do these simple things for their children?

Her kid is four. Chill. This child will not be scarred by not having a birthday party.

+1 That post was so dramatic it actually made me laugh out loud.

Oh, really pity your children. God made them likeable and social. But, you are incapable of teaching them how to be social and also host/ reciprocate. You are the reason that they will grow up to be anti-social, awkward weirdos.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t have birthday parties? That seems sadder to me than not having play dates.

+ 1
Why do people have children if they cannot do these simple things for their children?

Her kid is four. Chill. This child will not be scarred by not having a birthday party.

Anonymous wrote:Your kids don’t have birthday parties? That seems sadder to me than not having play dates.

+ 1
Why do people have children if they cannot do these simple things for their children?

Your kids don’t have birthday parties? That seems sadder to me than not having play dates.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t keep inviting someone who doesn’t reciprocate to play dates because I’d assume they don’t want to be bothered. But this wouldn’t affect birthday invites for me.

Same. But I could the other parent saying “want to hang out at X park this afternoon?” as “hosting.” Doesn’t have to be elaborate, at your house, or planned way in advance, or exactly 50% of the time. Just has to be your idea so I know that I am not chasing someone who isn’t into me for whatever reason.

I wouldn’t keep inviting someone who doesn’t reciprocate to play dates because I’d assume they don’t want to be bothered. But this wouldn’t affect birthday invites for me.

Yes, I stop inviting people who don’t reciprocate. The exception is if the child is a close neighbor and a great friend. Then I don’t mind if the child is over to play all the time. But if it takes coordination, I will stop asking a moocher or antisocial family.

I am approached by other parents at daycare that their children like my child, and one says my little girl is his favorite/love/girlfriend. Some have invited us to their kids's big birthday party or small birthday party (with a few kids only) or 1:1 playdate at their home/outdoor. We go everytime if we could make it. She is my youngest child, and I have not done any hosting of playdate/birthday party yet. For the long run, will that burn the invites because I have not planned anything yet, but their kids still like to play with my child at daycare. They are 4 year olds.

I have not hosted any birthday party or playdates for my oldest child. I am just not a planner, and I feel too much work. My 2 kids are social and our schedule is really busy because I keep th occupied with other classes.