Anonymous wrote:I'm in full agreement on the animals bit (which I'd guess violates BN global rules), but if you don't like it, leave and no need to continue stewing about it.

OP here. I did leave the group.
But not before listing out my reasons as to why rehoming animals for free in that group is a bad idea. Other people did too and they were basically ignored. One of the people that left always gave away really nice things. She gave some really well written responses as well as to why rehoming animals in a BN group is inappropriate. I'm glad she took a stand and left. We are both upset about it. I did like the group for the most part but some of the people in it are so annoying and lack basic manners.

I freecycle a lot (although have never picked up anything) and I have no expectations about this exchange other than I am grateful that something I no longer need isn't going to a landfill. If someone else rich wants it, great. If it ends up going to a person who is struggling, also great. If someone resells it, good for them for being enterprising. All I know is that it is out of my house and has gone to some good use.

But totally agree on the animals.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you are putting way too much mental energy into this. Stop following it on facebook and getting updates. Just post stuff for free when you want to let it go and be glad it's not going in a landfill.

I have had the bad interactions with humane societies and will never use one again. I will be going straight to a breeder instead. I have kids and was told that they wouldn't consider someone who had a kid under 5. Another told me I'd need a fenced in yard. Another told me that they wanted a remote worker or a SAHM (I wfh 3 days a week, but that wasn't enough). My beloved dog who just passed away last year was given to me for free. At the time (graduated college and paychecks hadn't started yet) I wouldn't have been able to afford the high humane society fees. I think a group matching dogs with owners who want them for free is not a bad idea.

Yep. The first FOUR I contacted told me they wouldn’t give me a dog while I had a child under ten in the house. Many also insisted on a fence (that’s only $15k, no biggie) or a SAHP (sure, I will ditch my career for a dog. That’s healthy). WTF?!?

OP, you're expecting way too much out of a group that is inherently a recycling service. If you don't think your neighbour is sufficiently grateful for your fancy expensive fudge, don't give it to her!

Anonymous wrote:I have a love/hate relationship. My big complaint is that in our group we aren't allowed to direct people to free community resources, such as "there's a free notary at the library every Friday" when someone ask for a notary.

I'm appreciative and say thank you, but I also see buy nothing as a functional exchange of goods and I think it's fine to ask for something very specific. If I'm asking for green chuck taylors in size 6 it isn't because my kid has no shoes, I'm hoping to get something for free that someone else has no use.

This drives me crazy too. People in my group post a lot needing medical equipment like a walker, knee scooter etc. There's a free resource/lending program in my community and we aren't allowed to direct them there. We have to PM them. So stupid.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you are putting way too much mental energy into this. Stop following it on facebook and getting updates. Just post stuff for free when you want to let it go and be glad it's not going in a landfill.

I have had the bad interactions with humane societies and will never use one again. I will be going straight to a breeder instead. I have kids and was told that they wouldn't consider someone who had a kid under 5. Another told me I'd need a fenced in yard. Another told me that they wanted a remote worker or a SAHM (I wfh 3 days a week, but that wasn't enough). My beloved dog who just passed away last year was given to me for free. At the time (graduated college and paychecks hadn't started yet) I wouldn't have been able to afford the high humane society fees. I think a group matching dogs with owners who want them for free is not a bad idea.

Don't forget the smaller rescue groups. Humane societies are not all bad and you have to remember they are dealing with a lot on their plates including cases of abuse and neglect that are absolutely horrendous. As someone who fosters and finds home for animals, it takes a toll on you to see how people mistreat animals and treat them as disposable. Look for the smaller rescues or alternative humane societies. Don't discount them all together.

A rehoming fee is important because it weeds out the people who collect animals for nefarious reasons. There are people who collect animals for free and feed them to snakes. There are people who collect dogs to be used as bait dogs in dog fighting. Rehoming fees also ensure that people are serious about caring for the animal and are committed because animals are not truly "free" and are a financial comittment. A lot of morons out there later decide "Oh, this costs a lot more than I thought it would" and try to give it back or rehome it again. It's not fair to the animal.

I have a love/hate relationship. My big complaint is that in our group we aren't allowed to direct people to free community resources, such as "there's a free notary at the library every Friday" when someone ask for a notary.

I'm appreciative and say thank you, but I also see buy nothing as a functional exchange of goods and I think it's fine to ask for something very specific. If I'm asking for green chuck taylors in size 6 it isn't because my kid has no shoes, I'm hoping to get something for free that someone else has no use.

I wish that were true that it is not allowed but I just looked at the rules and it says it's allow (though it is written kind of confusingly).
I really hate what BN has turned into and it feels like it's perpetuating an entitled attitude among people that I absolutely despise. When I was growing up, my mom didn't just give us new toys all the time. Now it's parents asking for this and that because little Susie really wants one and it just came out. These peoples' kids must be getting new crap all the time so when is anything ever special? But the animal thing really upsets and irks me. We had a lady recently who was rehoming 2 bunnies because her son showed no interest in them. I got her in contact with a lady I know who runs a bunny rescue and she took them out there. So basically she just taught her son that animals are disposable, at least in my book. Don't like them/feel bored with them? Get rid of 'em. Makes me feel really upset.

And yes, it's always that same handful of people requesting everything. I also don't like the "tell me why you want this item" posts. And the sob stories that follow...or stories of how it's so meant to be that this person receives this item. Blech.

I'm in full agreement on the animals bit (which I'd guess violates BN global rules), but if you don't like it, leave and no need to continue stewing about it.

I'm not on a Buy Nothing group (I'm not on Facebook) but live in Capitol Hill and recently learned that the administration of the CH Buy Nothing group on Facebook was so toxic and draconian that a group of people splintered off and started a different group called Take My $hit that has literally no rules or administration and now has as many if not more members than the original group.

If admin of Buy Nothing groups is anything like admin of neighborhood parent list serves or certain school/activity parent groups I've been in, I can imagine it's awful. There is this small minority of people who live to order other people around and punish them for not following exacting rules that only exist to make them feel official and in control. And they make everyone else's life miserable. Worse, they often truly believe that they are the only reason anything ever happens, and that the rest of us rely on them to make our lives better. They don't realize that most of the time, good stuff happens in spite of their "organization efforts" and that most of us are functional adults who somehow manage to do okay without them the rest of the time.

I wish therapy were free and widely available.

Anonymous wrote:It's against facebook rules to give/sell animals. Report them. (Well, if they're on facebook, I mean.)

And yes, I agree, I've come to despise our bn group. The same people want everything. But more than that, I hate the givers who basically say "entertain me, peasants, and should I deem your story worthy, you will be bestowed my treasures".

Good luck with that! I've tried reporting people selling counterfeit goods and also reported animals. Same with drugs. Facebook doesn't care anymore.

Honestly you are putting way too much mental energy into this. Stop following it on facebook and getting updates. Just post stuff for free when you want to let it go and be glad it's not going in a landfill.

I have had the bad interactions with humane societies and will never use one again. I will be going straight to a breeder instead. I have kids and was told that they wouldn't consider someone who had a kid under 5. Another told me I'd need a fenced in yard. Another told me that they wanted a remote worker or a SAHM (I wfh 3 days a week, but that wasn't enough). My beloved dog who just passed away last year was given to me for free. At the time (graduated college and paychecks hadn't started yet) I wouldn't have been able to afford the high humane society fees. I think a group matching dogs with owners who want them for free is not a bad idea.

It's against facebook rules to give/sell animals. Report them. (Well, if they're on facebook, I mean.)

And yes, I agree, I've come to despise our bn group. The same people want everything. But more than that, I hate the givers who basically say "entertain me, peasants, and should I deem your story worthy, you will be bestowed my treasures".

Yikes! Totally agree with you about the animals.

These groups are so hit or miss. I've moved around a lot and 1 group in particular sucked, 1 was the best ever, the others were somewhere in between.

I recently left my local BN group. New admins started in the past few months. One is really nice and the other posted a group poll to see if the members thought they should begin allowing people to post animals for free in the group. The majority was to allow it, but a few members including myself spoke up and said this is a bad idea. I foster animals looking for homes for 2 local rescue groups and we always charge an adoption fee because it weeds out people who aren't serious and committed to providing an animal with a good life. We also get a lot of animal surrenders from people who, as we talk to them and ask questions, obtained the animals for free to begin with. Animal adoption is not like giving away an old sofa. There is so much more that needs to be considered. The admin basically ignored all the well laid-out reasons why positing pets for free in a BN group isn't a good idea and said they were looking for a way to honor the majority vote plus the concerns of other people, like enforcing rules on how to go about it (but how are you really going to police that?). I said it just isn't appropriate for a BN group and it's ridiculous that it was still being debated and considered as a possibility and left. One lady also chimed in that the local humane society is a "joke" because they wouldn't adopt the dogs her family applied for because they were not appropriate for homes with young children. ::eye roll:: I'm pretty sure the humane society was just doing their job in trying to place the dog in an appropriate home and avoiding a situation where the dog or child would be at risk of being in a bad situation.

I gave away a lot of nice things in that group and also received some. Overall I liked the concept, but there are also so many rude/greedy people in it who have this expectant attitude. I have a neighbor who I gave fudge to recently (she happens to be in that group) that I bought in a holiday resort area (it's expensive fudge). She took it from my hands without so much as a thank you. The more I thought about it, I think this is a result of how she gets things for free in that group all the time (there's a woman in it who bakes things and regularly gives them away and my neighbor always raises her hand for them) so it's like nothing is special anymore. They just expect it. At first I felt good giving things away to people that I didn't know. It has never made me feel a sense of community though (a lot of people have picked things up from me more than once and the second time, they don't even remember me or coming to my house based on their messages). Then there's the people who request oddly specific and/or expensive items. Like one lady wanted a tufted head board for her 8 year old daughter but it needed to be either cream colored or grey... and she also wanted a fiddle fig leaf tree. I'm such an idiot because when I first joined that group, I gave away 3 neatly wrapped packages to people with little kids and even asked them what their kids were interested in and made up the packages to be age appropriate (coloring books, crayons, stickers, some toys etc, American girl doll journals) and set them on my porch. One was that lady. I get it if it's every day household essentials but to basically use it as your wish list is so gross. Then there's the no-shows and people who ask to reschedule and then I've got something hanging out on my porch for days. I'm over it and that group has shown me how awful and unappreciative people can be. There have been a handful of good exchanges, but mostly it's been negative.