Anonymous wrote:Depending on what 'pretty bad' means I would consider calling the school and with an anonymous tip. Often that will get the greek life office sniffing around enough that the older guys will lay off to some extent.
If it's terrible stuff I would really try to get DS to abandon ship. This stuff goes on year after year so will he be comfortable subjecting others to it?

I would do this

He’s an adult (presumably) and can make his own choices. Land the helicopter.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nervous wreck. Any advice? I’ve told him to walk away at any time, he’s a confident, social guy, doesn’t need to be in a fraternity. What I know so far is pretty bad.

How is he planning to pay for it?

Tell him you won’t pay the semester dues. Maybe that could get him to walk away.

If he uncomfortable enough in the situation he is in, he should leave. Not being dramatic here at all, but Rush was the beginning of a really bad road for my brother. And he didn't die, but I know of kids who did.

Unless your DS wants to become another a-hole, ask him to quit. A ton of kids don't join frats and do well in life.

You need to call the school and report it.

My ds chose not to rush this semester. I was surprised. Many of his friends/roommate did. He told me the things they are telling him make him more glad he didn't rush. Also lots of coke.

Anonymous wrote:He should report it and not join.

+1

I would do everything possible to get him to not join. I had a friend from hs who died during Hell Week. It terrifies me.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nervous wreck. Any advice? I’ve told him to walk away at any time, he’s a confident, social guy, doesn’t need to be in a fraternity. What I know so far is pretty bad.

If he stays and endures it, does he plan to just do the same thing to next year's pledges? Because that's how this nonsense keeps going. People go along with it instead of speaking up and walking away.

Depending on what 'pretty bad' means I would consider calling the school and with an anonymous tip. Often that will get the greek life office sniffing around enough that the older guys will lay off to some extent.
If it's terrible stuff I would really try to get DS to abandon ship. This stuff goes on year after year so will he be comfortable subjecting others to it?

Grow up. Don’t join.

He should report it and not join.

I’m a nervous wreck. Any advice? I’ve told him to walk away at any time, he’s a confident, social guy, doesn’t need to be in a fraternity. What I know so far is pretty bad.