Anonymous
01/24/2023 09:00
Subject: Re:How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
Anonymous wrote:I would never do this. It starts by talking to them when they're young.
Figure it out yourself because Dad and I are traveling the world with the money we have now that we're not supporting children at home. And don't have any kids yourself if you can't afford it.
That's fair but many parents have less needs and actually enjoy spending on their kids. My mom would've loved extra money to spoil grandkids.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 08:57
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
Anonymous wrote:We have several friends who receive money from parents who choose to gift it during life rather than leave it until death. None of these friends need it for basic support but they spend it on themselves and their kids just as the parents intend. If I had money to leave my kids, I would certainly rather see them vacationing and doing fun things during my (and their) life than giving them a lump sum when I die.
Yep. DH & I are new money. Came from absolutely nothing and stumbled into big $$$ careers and big stock market gains. And we’re not spenders. I absolutely want to share this money with my young adult kids. And I don’t see the day of not sharing until the money goes to them in our wills.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 08:57
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
Anonymous wrote:I live in a close in Montgomery County suburb and it seems pretty clear that several of my neighbors are still being supported financially by their parents. These are people in their 40s who have multiple children. I feel like if you haven't figured out how to be financially independent by the time you are in your 40s, it is very unlikely you ever will. Is being supported financially forever part of these people's life plan?
If you support your children financially when they are middle age, do you feel good about it? It seems like parents in this situation must have to worry not only about whether their retirement savings will be enough to support themselves until they are 100, but if their savings are enough to support their children until they are 100!
I guess I'm just jealous and bitter!
In my younger days, I would've been jealous too but when you experience life you learn not to be jealous of anyone as you know that life is fairly unfair to all. However, if their parents have extra money, they'll leave it for them anyways so why not help while still alive to see the benefits.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 08:55
Subject: Re:How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
What does financial support mean to you? My parents are wealthy and pay for family vacations and my kid's private school tuition. DH and I have good jobs and pay our bills and save appropriately. I wouldn't say my parents support us although we would make some different decisions if they didn't help with those things.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 08:50
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
We have several friends who receive money from parents who choose to gift it during life rather than leave it until death. None of these friends need it for basic support but they spend it on themselves and their kids just as the parents intend. If I had money to leave my kids, I would certainly rather see them vacationing and doing fun things during my (and their) life than giving them a lump sum when I die.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 07:17
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
Yeah, I hate this too. But the richer we get, the more I see it.
Husband and I are both from pretty middle class origins, but now have good salaries, our kids are in private, country club membership, etc. basic rich bit$$ stuff. Our peers, even some of our closest friends, are heavily floated by their parents. I've had to learn how to turn off the "ick" factor in this. It's just the way that this tribe of people operate.
Husband and I are both from pretty middle class origins, but now have good salaries, our kids are in private, country club membership, etc. basic rich bit$$ stuff. Our peers, even some of our closest friends, are heavily floated by their parents. I've had to learn how to turn off the "ick" factor in this. It's just the way that this tribe of people operate.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 07:04
Subject: Re:How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
That’s not “support,” OP. That’s estate planning. I’m not dependent on my parents, but I am lucky to receive gifts and other advantages (like not worrying about retirement). No, they are not making any sacrifices to make those gifts. Realistically, close-in DC suburbs mean very high income or generational wealth. Your neighbors could surely afford to pay their own way, they would just live somewhere else.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 07:03
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
Help pay the monthly bills because they can’t afford it? Or fund bigger items like the massive $2+ million home, private school tuition, sleepover camp etc? I see a lot of the latter in bethesda. People in their 40s who have good/well paying jobs but there is no way they afford the lifestyle they lead without $ from their family.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 06:59
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
Anonymous wrote:I live in a close in Montgomery County suburb and it seems pretty clear that several of my neighbors are still being supported financially by their parents. These are people in their 40s who have multiple children. I feel like if you haven't figured out how to be financially independent by the time you are in your 40s, it is very unlikely you ever will. Is being supported financially forever part of these people's life plan?
If you support your children financially when they are middle age, do you feel good about it? It seems like parents in this situation must have to worry not only about whether their retirement savings will be enough to support themselves until they are 100, but if their savings are enough to support their children until they are 100!
I guess I'm just jealous and bitter!
What do you mean by “support?” Pay their mortgage? Give them a monthly allowance? Subsidize vacations or private school?
What’s your evidence? Maybe they’re up to their eyeballs in credit card debt.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 06:54
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
This doesn’t really bother me. PP wants to spend their money traveling, but maybe someone else wants to spend their money helping their kids out.
As OP points out it’s expensive to have kids and I’m certainly not going to say there’s anything better about using money to travel vs using it to help kids support grandkids. And holding onto the money until someone dies just to make a point seems like the worst idea of all.
As OP points out it’s expensive to have kids and I’m certainly not going to say there’s anything better about using money to travel vs using it to help kids support grandkids. And holding onto the money until someone dies just to make a point seems like the worst idea of all.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 06:34
Subject: Re:How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
I would never do this. It starts by talking to them when they're young.
Figure it out yourself because Dad and I are traveling the world with the money we have now that we're not supporting children at home. And don't have any kids yourself if you can't afford it.
Figure it out yourself because Dad and I are traveling the world with the money we have now that we're not supporting children at home. And don't have any kids yourself if you can't afford it.
Anonymous
01/24/2023 06:24
Subject: Re:How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
I help out my 47 y/o DS!
Anonymous
01/23/2023 22:20
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
I know lots of my friend's wealthier parents helped them constantly until the parents died.
Anonymous
01/23/2023 22:05
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
Do trust funds count?
Anonymous
01/23/2023 20:28
Subject: How many parents still financially support their middle age adult children?
I live in a close in Montgomery County suburb and it seems pretty clear that several of my neighbors are still being supported financially by their parents. These are people in their 40s who have multiple children. I feel like if you haven't figured out how to be financially independent by the time you are in your 40s, it is very unlikely you ever will. Is being supported financially forever part of these people's life plan?
If you support your children financially when they are middle age, do you feel good about it? It seems like parents in this situation must have to worry not only about whether their retirement savings will be enough to support themselves until they are 100, but if their savings are enough to support their children until they are 100!
I guess I'm just jealous and bitter!
If you support your children financially when they are middle age, do you feel good about it? It seems like parents in this situation must have to worry not only about whether their retirement savings will be enough to support themselves until they are 100, but if their savings are enough to support their children until they are 100!
I guess I'm just jealous and bitter!