Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 10:35     Subject: Re:Are you glad you got a doula?
Anonymous wrote:Yes didn’t have with my first birth and had with my second. First birth was medicated, second unmedicated so that is relevant and I don’t think I could have gotten through the unmedicated birth in a hospital without her (not that it was necessary to get through, it was a personal choice I made that I wanted to try it because of a few different factors very specific to myself). If I was having a third and having a medicated birth I still might do it for the time it helped to process my feelings and thoughts on birth both before and after. Sounds silly but unless you have a completely smooth no surprises birth it can be really helpful to have that person. My husband is great and very supportive but he will never understand what it’s like to birth a human like my doula did/does. I wouldn’t expect him too. It was nice to have that. Things she really helped with: creating a really calm environment even in the hospital, really helped advocate for that and it was really lovely. She helped with pain management hugely though if having an epidural again that wouldn’t be as necessary. She also helped my husband which I think is an under discussed aspect. Just having another person there to go get things, she would get my husband a sandwich while he stayed with me for example. Those things are just a luxury but just noting. He said he felt supported and that was really nice.

Recent research supports doulas as improving birth outcomes especially for women of color.


Sorry I just want to come back and say I totally did not read the whole post before posting and for that I apologize. Didn’t even realize I did that! Now see irs not your first. With uncomplicated births and postpartums I’m not sure you’d find it as helpful. I had complicated times after delivery and generally postpartum for both so that’s why I needed the processing support!
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 10:33     Subject: Re:Are you glad you got a doula?
Yes didn’t have with my first birth and had with my second. First birth was medicated, second unmedicated so that is relevant and I don’t think I could have gotten through the unmedicated birth in a hospital without her (not that it was necessary to get through, it was a personal choice I made that I wanted to try it because of a few different factors very specific to myself). If I was having a third and having a medicated birth I still might do it for the time it helped to process my feelings and thoughts on birth both before and after. Sounds silly but unless you have a completely smooth no surprises birth it can be really helpful to have that person. My husband is great and very supportive but he will never understand what it’s like to birth a human like my doula did/does. I wouldn’t expect him too. It was nice to have that. Things she really helped with: creating a really calm environment even in the hospital, really helped advocate for that and it was really lovely. She helped with pain management hugely though if having an epidural again that wouldn’t be as necessary. She also helped my husband which I think is an under discussed aspect. Just having another person there to go get things, she would get my husband a sandwich while he stayed with me for example. Those things are just a luxury but just noting. He said he felt supported and that was really nice.

Recent research supports doulas as improving birth outcomes especially for women of color.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 10:31     Subject: Re:Are you glad you got a doula?
You already had 2 kids so I would think you would know how you would react to having one. For me, I had zero interest in talking to anyone during labor. I wanted to tune out the world and barely wanted anyone to touch me or speak to me even my husband. If there had been a relative stranger there, I would have not utilized this person.

But if you think there was something in your prior births where a doula could have helped, go for it.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 10:29     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
Did you use one for the first two? If not, what makes you interested in having one this go round?
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 10:23     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
Yes. She was the cooling presence I needed. My sweet husband was amazing but when I was in pain he really struggled. I needed several interventions after a long labor and my doula supported me emotionally in the waves of decisions needed. She also helped me laugh a lot instead of getting grumpy with hubs and staff. She was not granola at all (but I am 😂). We are friends so that also helps. She was also a witness so when I needed to process things after she had my whole story and could remember with me.

That said. So i guess a dear friend might be able to do this. But her doula training was invaluable in birth prep and understanding what was going on when I was overwhelmed. She gave my partner good breaks which he needed too.

I’m pro doula for sure and since it’s your 3rd you might consider having a trained doula or friend who’s had a few kids come. Either would be super nice and supportive. A post partum doula might be the ticket too. The home visits and food is wonderful
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 08:29     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
Yes, beyond thrilled. I was terrified I would end up with an unnecessary c-section. Spouse believes doctors are always right, and I am not a believer - I think the medical establishment does whatever is most convenient, whatever brings them the most money, and whatever will prevent them from being sued.

To me, having a doula gave me piece of mind that my wishes (unmedicated natural vaginal birth) would be honored if possible.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 08:22     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
No but also yes. No because I didn't find her helpful (the opposite at one important juncture) and it didn't lead to the outcome I wanted, which was my justification for spending the money (vaginal birth). But yes because it's evidence I tried everything you're supposed to to get that outcome, so when I was in a PPD haze at least I didn't beat myself up for not trying hard enough. Also DH felt like she was good at explaining what was happening to him, so that's better than nothing.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 08:08     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
I would opt for other services like food prep and cleaning. Maybe even an afternoon sitter/helper for your older children.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 07:33     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
Yes!!! First birth was complicated and medically traumatic and she was an indispensable guide and partner, particularly to my husband who would have otherwise been “on duty” without the ability to go get food etc for almost two days.
Second birth felt less necessary - I was prepared, knew it would be an early induction, knew I would get an epidural. We ended up still wanting an extra helper around to assist (she also took great photos!) so we picked someone cheaper with less experience. Then my epidural failed and it was nice to have someone with comfort techniques in mind since I had not prepared for a med free birth in four years!
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 01:01     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
It was a waste of money to me. But DH was very involved and very supportive and my "birthing plan" was pretty laid back. I was also very fortunate that my labor was fast and easy and went as I'd hoped.

I got the doula because of my sister's experience but her husband struggled with the laboring aspect (turns out he is a lot more sensitive to things than anyone knew) and mt sister had a longer and more difficult labor. So she definitely helped in that regard.

I wish I could give you a better answer but I think it depends on your support system and your overall personality.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 00:49     Subject: Re:Are you glad you got a doula?
Not the question you asked, but I regret not hiring a doula. The birth was pretty straightforward but my DH was not that helpful and the L&D department was super busy that night and I just would have appreciated having an extra person around who was there to help and knowledgeable about the process.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2023 00:35     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
Nope, waste of money.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 23:45     Subject: Re:Are you glad you got a doula?
No, waste of time and money and she was like a deer in the headlights stranger in the room when things needed to deviate from the plan.

This was a first birth, I definitely wouldn't get one for a third child with a history of uncomplicated deliveries.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 22:39     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
Yes. She didn’t end up doing much but I was glad she was there if needed.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2023 21:54     Subject: Are you glad you got a doula?
Just interviewed with a doula - she seems great. On the fence about hiring her: this is my third (and likely last) baby and I had uneventful labors with my first two and a pretty good postpartum period with each. If you got a doula, are you glad you did?