Just FYI my skinny very fit DH has gout and even had to go on meds to get rid of flare ups. It is extremely painful so people who have it are usually very motivated to prevent an attack. There are lots of weird things that are particularly bad to eat (scallops?). It sounds like OPs mom may be adding some weird food behaviors to a list of foods to avoid for gout.

Magnesium
VItamin K2 MK7
Turmeric (in golden milk).

No sugar. Protein only with complex carbs and lots of colorful veggies. Lots of water, lots of lemon water to neutralize the uric acid.

Anonymous wrote:Did you just need to vent or did you have a question?

Too much to unwrap in OP's post.

This thread is informative. I had an obese relative with gout, but I did not know that people who aren’t overweight could suffer from gout.

OP, I’d make a regular dinner for your whole family, but add to it whatever items your mom can/will eat. Your kids don’t need to mimic grandma’s diet. You can’t fix grandma’s eating habits. Let grandma know that she is not to discuss diets or anyone’s weight/appearance with or in front of your children. If your kids ask why grandma gets to eat all carbs or lots of sugar, tell that them grandma isn’t feeling well and can’t tolerate normal food right now.

OP, happy to answer your question: so far, I have basically ignored my MIL's disordered "clean" eating. She has a restrictive diet that she says is necessary for various medical conditions (gluten intolerance, acid reflux, something something about nightshades, etc.), but it tends to just hew to a carb, sugar, dairy and gluten free diet with a lot of fad supplements. She constantly talks about how she can't keep weight on, but won't touch a carb, fatty meat, or dessert. She will completely skip meals if her preferred food is not available or is not what is being served. She also regularly remarks about what others are eating or not eating. Cooks unhealthy food when hosting and then eats something separately herself. Will make dramatic declarations that aren't entirely true ("I would never serve my kids X" etc.). I just try to model balanced eating and being a flexible eater and a good guest, and don't play into her games about talking about weight and so forth.

My mom is psychotic about food. I grew up in a really toxic food environment. My younger son (2yo) really likes milk and she keeps insisting that it's a sign that he has diabetes. My older son is underweight (like BMI sub-first percentile) and she will still comment about his portions being big or ask when I'm going to switch from full-fat to low-fat dairy.

I just say "the doctor isn't concerned" and leave it at that. We don't see her that often due to geography, otherwise I might say something stronger.

OP- gout can be genetic. My dad didn't tell anyone about his gout (my mom knew) because it was long associated with heavy drinkers (which my dad was not). It ran in his family...so runs in my mine though (knock on wood)haven't seen it yer.

The inheritance pattern of gout is unclear because many genetic and environmental factors appear to be involved. However, having a close relative with gout likely increases a person's risk of developing the condition

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you just need to vent or did you have a question?

I have a question: how do you deal with older family members trying to talk about diet culture?

OK, that is too meta. Discussions of what you do and don't eat, what other people do and don't eat, what you or they "should" eat -- that is diet culture. Nonstop focus on what people eat and how that affects weight is diet culture. So you and your mother are both immersed in diet culture.

HTH.

Stop opining on her diet. Stop thinking about what she eats beyond how it affects your menu-planning. You're not her doctor or her dietician.

If starts trying to drag you into diet discussions, shut that down: "Mom, you have a doctor who advises you on what to eat. I have a doctor who advises me on what to eat. Larla has a doctor who advises us -- by which I mean Larla and her parents, not her grandparents -- on what she should eat. Let's all stay in our lanes."

Fructose causes uric acid levels to be high which in turn causes gout. So, maybe these carbohydrate heavy foods are the culprit?

My thin and fit husband is a doctor and has a form of pseudo-gout (deposits of calcium pyrophosphate instead of uric acid).

There are several types of gout. They each have their own foods to avoid, rich in the offending crystallizing molecule.

My husband drinks a lot of water - it's his medication of choice to avoid flare-ups. He knows he has to avoid too much fowl and meat in general. During the Holidays, when he knows he wants to eat a little more duck (he loves duck), he makes sure to drink even more water. He's had flare-ups after long days of travel or meetings, when he forgot or had no time to drink enough water.

Gouts are genetic and each individual suffers differently. Your mother knows herself, presumably, right? If she found that for her, fructose-based foods and drinks do not trigger flare-ups, then you'd better believe her. It appears she's found that meats and alcohol, the most well-known offenders, DO trigger flare-ups, which is why she avoids them. It's also entirely possible that her disease collides with picky eating and that because of this she won't eat perfectly innocuous and healthy vegetables and plant proteins.

She's an adult, you can't really force her to change her habits unless you're ready to have a long, drawn-out fight. Is it worth it for you?

I had to ban my mom from all diet talk, at all whatsoever. She's just too entrenched in the diet culture of earlier decades to be able to filter. It didn't really bother me until I had a daughter. My daughter is hitting puberty a tad early (no medical concern) and it bothers my mom SO MUCH, she just cannot keep her mouth shut about it. So a bright line rule is the only thing that works.

I also have an elderly cheribundi evangelist in my social network. Was she previously a Pom pomegranate juice enthusiast?

Anonymous wrote:Did you just need to vent or did you have a question?

I have a question: how do you deal with older family members trying to talk about diet culture? If this is a medical reason, I understand, but it seems like the issue is the diet culture from our childhood and theirs. I understand having a special diet due to health reasons, but solely for being thin and losing weight, I do not. And what do you do when they encourage your children to be engaged in diet culture?

Did you just need to vent or did you have a question?

My mom is a petite woman, about 105 lbs and 5'3". She had gout flare ups and now is on a restrictive diet from her doctor. I have never heard of a small woman like my mom who doesn't drink or eat fatty meats get gout, but I'm not a doctor. It has also uncovered a disordered and restrictive eating that centers around baked goods and sodas. What is odd is that my mom cannot eat fish or vegetables, but can eat beef, sugar, non-fat or sugar-free. She talks about it incessantly and makes comments about our weight. My sister and I are both average weight and height and we eat very clean and exercise daily. My mom has never exercised, but has always been obsessed with diet culture and restrictive eating. She insists she has to drink a high calorie cherry juice and sugar free sodas, eats an Elf diet as my son describes it (pasta, junk food, sugar, lots of "fat free and sugar free" snacks). I asked my mom what she is able to eat so I could make dinner for her this week? She tells me everything she cannot eat. I looked up this "diet" and it doesn't sound right. This is the same woman who has a mental health diagnosis and went once to therapy and thinks she is "cured". I don't like the message her diet messages send to my children, particularly my tween daughter. I asked her to stop and she continues to go on. She even texted my daughter a few diet meal plans!