I'm sorry, op. I think at this point you just have to let go. These end-of-life issues bring up so much and as far as I can tell they bring out the worst in everyone.

I'm the op of the thread regarding care for my aunt and uncle and the things my cousin is pushing for. I don't think we'll ever celebrate holidays together ever again, the way things are going. It all just breaks my heart. It sucks, but you have to pull back and let go.

Sorry, I meant there is no evidence I have done anything wrong, because I have never asked her for a dime. It's more that my sibling has made mom think I am the one who is plotting against her.

I get it, she wanted to be closer before they passed. She visited a lot once dad was ill and he seemed to appreciate it, so no issues there. I didn't see any red-flags, but she is a manipulative and difficult person who I don't trust much based on past events so we remained polite, but distant. My concern is the control she has over mom and what she has done to my relationship with mom, but not sure there is anything I can do.

Since dad has died, she has somehow convinced mom she has her best interest at heart and I don't. My mother has had paranoid meltdowns at me enough that I have had to distance my family because not just the toll on me and my husband, but our kids. I helped mom quite a bit with dad over the years and this sibling did not. Sibling now has mom paying for things and had mom buy her a new car among others things, but mom can afford it. There is still plenty for her care. Mom's justification is sibling is divorced and has a harder life.

Not sure how to proceed. The geriatric social worker did make sure mom got assessed and she does not have dementia at this time. All family members who could get involved are deceased. While I don't trust this sibling, I don't think she will empty accounts. She has plenty of her own money. She will just get extra money for herself and gifts, but not compromise mom's care.

Honestly I have enough going on in my own life, I think I will just back off. Mom sees me as the villain despite us not having any conflict in the past and my heart really can't take anymore of her getting upset with me. There is evidence I have done thing, it's more mom accuses me of plotting to do things. Geriatric social worker checks on mom's wellbeing. People talk about financial abuse, but I don't have the energy to start a battle with my sibling and again, I don't think she would ever make it so mom can't pay for care. She is already POA and to be honest I have too much going on right now to take that on.

Has anyone been through this? I am amazed at home she not only re-entered their lives, but was able to take over with mom and somehow shut me out.