Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 16:07     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
That’s mean, OP. It’s Christmas. It’s meant to be spent with family.

And Christmas is actually a bad time to travel because it’s expensive and places tend to shut down for a couple days.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 16:06     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
I would alternate UNLESS the kids' cousins celebrate with his family too. Cousin time is a precious memory.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 16:04     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
Anonymous wrote:My spouse insists on spending Christmas with their family. I should have nipped this in the bud early on in our relationship (I am not Christian, so spending Christmas with my family is not a priority), but now I'm kind of pissed about it - Christmas would be an ideal time to take a long vacation, to spend time together in our home, etc..., but now we've set a precedent and I can't convince my spouse otherwise. Any tips and good arguments against this? Kids are in elementary school. They like Christmas with their grandparents, but that's mostly because they get a lot of presents - I'd be willing to have a faux Christmas with them another weekend and my kids would be okay with that, too. This year, due to weather, we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome. My DH was the only one who wished he'd had Christmas morning with his family. He SAYS this is pressure from his family to spend Christmas with them, but I don't know if that's actually true. Would LOVE to hear your tips on convincing him to compromise on this. He thinks he's already compromising because we only spend a few days with his family


What holidays do you celebrate with your family?
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 15:06     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
OP I don't think you should convince him. He either goes alone or with the kids to his parents and you can stay home or travel.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:46     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We've always traveled around Christmastime. We live in CA, so fly to NY and stop there for a night or two, then go on to London, then another city in Europe, then back to NY for a couple of nights (this is where the grandparents are) before coming home.

We do a very lowkey Christmas (like 5 or 6 gifts total for the kids) and see the grandparents at some point near the holiday, but are always out of the country on actual Christmas day. DH and I really hate the commercialization of it in the US.


Your situation is different because you both agree. Your scenario is irrelevant to OP’s.


So because her husband wants something, he gets it? What about what OP and the kids want?
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:45     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?


She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:45     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
Anonymous wrote:We've always traveled around Christmastime. We live in CA, so fly to NY and stop there for a night or two, then go on to London, then another city in Europe, then back to NY for a couple of nights (this is where the grandparents are) before coming home.

We do a very lowkey Christmas (like 5 or 6 gifts total for the kids) and see the grandparents at some point near the holiday, but are always out of the country on actual Christmas day. DH and I really hate the commercialization of it in the US.


Your situation is different because you both agree. Your scenario is irrelevant to OP’s.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:43     Subject: Re:Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
Anonymous wrote:Suggest alternating years


+1 this is what we do. One year, we take a trip somewhere (grandparents can join if they want), the next year we do Christmas at home (grandparents can join if they want). I think it’s reasonable.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:42     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
We've always traveled around Christmastime. We live in CA, so fly to NY and stop there for a night or two, then go on to London, then another city in Europe, then back to NY for a couple of nights (this is where the grandparents are) before coming home.

We do a very lowkey Christmas (like 5 or 6 gifts total for the kids) and see the grandparents at some point near the holiday, but are always out of the country on actual Christmas day. DH and I really hate the commercialization of it in the US.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:41     Subject: Re:Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
I don’t see the problem. It’s one day out of the year OP, and you don’t celebrate. It means something to him. Why would you want to convince him otherwise? I think it’s pretty ugly of you honestly.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:39     Subject: Re:Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
If he wants Christmas morning with his mom and dad he should have stayed single. Move back into his childhood bedroom and so he can wake up in his PJs and his mom can make him hot cocoa.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:39     Subject: Re:Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
Suggest alternating years
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:37     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
If you are willing to spend an “alternate Christmas” with them, and you don’t celebrate Christmas…then give the justification why it can’t actually be on Christmas that you see them. After all, either way, it’s just a date on the calendar to you, yes?
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:33     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2023 14:15     Subject: Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family
My spouse insists on spending Christmas with their family. I should have nipped this in the bud early on in our relationship (I am not Christian, so spending Christmas with my family is not a priority), but now I'm kind of pissed about it - Christmas would be an ideal time to take a long vacation, to spend time together in our home, etc..., but now we've set a precedent and I can't convince my spouse otherwise. Any tips and good arguments against this? Kids are in elementary school. They like Christmas with their grandparents, but that's mostly because they get a lot of presents - I'd be willing to have a faux Christmas with them another weekend and my kids would be okay with that, too. This year, due to weather, we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome. My DH was the only one who wished he'd had Christmas morning with his family. He SAYS this is pressure from his family to spend Christmas with them, but I don't know if that's actually true. Would LOVE to hear your tips on convincing him to compromise on this. He thinks he's already compromising because we only spend a few days with his family