DS is still the same and he is a senior. If he doesn’t find someone to eat with as soon as school starts, it becomes a lost cause for him because he is paralyzed by the thought of walking around the cafeteria and looking for someone he knows. He basically eats durijg class time and then goes to the library at lunch. He says others do this, too.

I agree about trying to find a club that meets at lunch, and the suggestion to ask someone in the period prior to lunch if they want to eat together.

It’s hard. It is probably not the case that no one wants to have her sit with them. It’s more that kids find a spot to sit and don’t think about kids who don’t have a spot. It’s gone on for a while, so she has convinced herself that no one wants her, but, it’s probably more that no one is going to ask her.

Maybe counselor? Counselor might know some nice girls who’d be welcoming and encourage your daughter to approach them.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Welcome to special needs parenting. Acknowledge the sadness and celebrate the wins however small. Do not compare your child or family to others.

I was in the wrong sub thread. I’m sorry your child eats alone; I thought I was in Special Needs. Teens with SN are a different universe.

Yes. Welcome to special needs parenting. Acknowledge the sadness and celebrate the wins however small. Do not compare your child or family to others.

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t see other kids eating alone because they are hiding too.

This. I had to eat alone freshman year. I went to the library. I don’t remember what happene sophomore year, but I transferred after that and found friends quickly. I have plenty of friends now.

What grade is your DD in? Is she new to the school? Does she generally have trouble making friends?

Last year my DD had no friends and often ate lunch alone. Which was new for her as she used to make friends easily. We finally figured out she had debilitating anxiety. Now after therapy and Prozac she has tons of friends and often invites the loner kids to eat with them because she remembers how it felt.

DS is on the spectrum and never made friends easily. He often eats alone but recently made a couple friends that he now eats with.

You need to call the guidance counselor for discreet help with this. There are plenty of kids like her at that school, I can guarantee.

My kid who was new and I guess comes across as a kind kid got paired up with another kid who was struggling in 8th grade. Counselor suggested they sit together. They are in different high schools this year but are still good friends and get together every weekend.

Anonymous wrote:Is she in a club? Some of the schools have club meetings during lunch. But, it's also a good way to meet kids and connect.

When my not too social DH hit HS, I told him to join clubs and get active. He did, and met some good friends.

This kept my kid busy at lunch. She met a lot of nice kids and mustered enough courage to join a couple of them for lunch on days the club didn’t meet.

Is she in a club? Some of the schools have club meetings during lunch. But, it's also a good way to meet kids and connect.

When my not too social DH hit HS, I told him to join clubs and get active. He did, and met some good friends.

This was me. College was so much better. Can she go home for lunch?

This is heartbreaking. Can you involve the counselor. Surely, she can’t be the only kid…

She doesn’t see other kids eating alone because they are hiding too.

She needs to bring a book. The other kids who like to read will see that and start talking to her.

Or, can't she turn to someone she likes in the last period before lunch and say to them "hey can I sit with you for lunch?"

DD finds a teacher’s room and just kind of hides during lunch, because she’s so self-conscious about not having anyone to eat with. She said that everywhere she looks, there are groups of kids talking, laughing and having fun. She doesn’t notice anyone sitting all alone like her - she said everyone else seems to have at least one or two friends, even the unpopular kids. It’s so heartbreaking.