I’ve known of martial arts classes where parents and kids can participate together. Maybe you can find one of those. Otherwise, schedule the activity that you want to do, then ask your DH to watch your child during that time. If he can’t, try to find a babysitter.

Why is your kid in so many activities? Drop some and have your DH look after him while you are at your activity?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol. and you only have one.

Enough with the parent of only-child shaming, or whatever this is. I have one, and I'm crazy busy all the time. I take time out of my work day to try and squeeze my workout in. But as someone wiht a very busy DH who is the primary caretaker, having one child is extremely busy, too.

It’s a lot less busy than multiple kids!

Anonymous wrote:lol. and you only have one.

Enough with the parent of only-child shaming, or whatever this is. I have one, and I'm crazy busy all the time. I take time out of my work day to try and squeeze my workout in. But as someone wiht a very busy DH who is the primary caretaker, having one child is extremely busy, too.

I am in your shoes almost exactly. It is my new year's resolution to do more things that I like.

I would recommend that you simply find what you want to do, and sign up for it, and make it happen. It sounds like essentially that freedom is given to your kid and DH, so why not you? You'll get a sitter, or DH will have to do more, your kid will sit in the lobby with a book or get a carpool.... there are options.

I have faith it will work out (for both of us). If you wait for exactly the right circumstances, you'll wait forever.

Agree with picking up activities you can do in your car while you wait for DC. Knitting, reading, online classes, listening to podcasts or meditations.

Also, would the martial arts place allow your child to sit and do homework/read while you’re in class? My kids are in martial arts and I’ve noticed one boy stays after while his dad takes a class.

My single mom friend wakes up at 4 so she has a good 2.5 hours to herself for her own interests. She reads, writes, takes self-paced online classes. But that also requires her to be in bed around 9 each night.

Now, I also think you and DH need to talk about how you can help each other prioritize some time for yourselves. Even a homebody should be able to take the child one night a week while you go to a class. My DH goes through stages of long, unpredictable hours, but he does his best to work his hours around my choir rehearsal/dinner with a friend if it’s planned in advance.

OP, you have a tough combination of a DH who doesn’t pitch in, your own long hours, and very much optimizing all the things for you and your kid. You either limit your kid’s activities, find an activity for you that’s more doable, cut back on your own work, find a way for your DH to contribute, etc. It’s a solvable problem, but not with the number of constraints you’ve got going on.

Assuming your DH is totally out - hire a college student / babysitter to come one evening a week. My DH has a very unpredictable travel schedule so I do that - it just becomes part of the routine.

Other option is some adult classes start at like 8pm. You could get kid ready for bed and leave if DH is home but unable to do much

^ Or have him handle dinner/bath/bed on weeknights when you have a class. Your child is older so it shouldn’t be a pain.

Obviously, the alternative is to hire a babysitter. No shame in that either.

Your DH would need to handle weekend activities. Drop your kid off and then read/sleep/watch IPad/play on his phone in the car or at a coffee shop.

I have 3 kids. First, ur husband needs to be on board for u to get any me time in. No excuses. My husband and I both work with him having more erratic hours. BUT so long as it’s scheduled, he does his part. We work out regularly and this is impt to us so the other parent watches the kids to make sure the other get their workout in.

I have a home gym so I take dance classes online. I’m signed up for online piano classes too and will take those when my kids are in bed (9ish). FWIW, my 3 kids have a lot of activities that we schlep them to (travel sports, music lessons, and other activities). I craft with my kids too. If husband really won’t help, then find time to do things when ur kid is asleep, wake up really early or do stuff late at night.

It would be possible if your husband put in a little help

This is why reading and knitting are such popular activities for parents acting as taxi services for their children. I also exercise most days and take night classes once/twice per week. A lot of that happens after their bedtimes. The glass blowing class will have to wait until they get a bit older.

lol. and you only have one.

Do you have your own interests and how do you carve out the time outside of your kids? I have a kid in 3rd grade and I find myself taking my child to various sports and classes and it does not leave any convenient time for my own. I would like to try a martial arts class for instance but the adults class is at a separate time after kids class so where would my kid be when I am doing it? Similar issue for other things and it looks like most are setup for single people without kids. Weekends are a no go as well as my kid does a sport and I have to work some days or busy with another activity. It was easier when DC was in daycare/preschool and not in classes but looks like things are only ramping up. When does it get easier? Maybe when they can drive? My DH is supportive of us pursuing our interests but works long hours and is a homebody in general so not much help with after school activities.