Unstructured with boundaries. Like no screens until 4 pm, or books read/room cleaned/whatever.

Personally I would insist on exercise of some kind, reading, piano practice, and two outings a week (with me or a friend) that weren’t just errands.

Could she be a mothers helper?

Unstructured time means watching YouTube all day for my 12 year old!

Girl Scout camp - not sure if she might be old enough to be a counselor in training, which means you still pay for her to go but she gets to be in charge of younger girls (with supervision) and have more exciting activities herself

Do you belong to or have access to a pool? I have multiple kids & SAH, but oldest is 13. We’ve never done camps, but the kids do swim team & swim at the pool with friends. We also do a mixture of small & big outings, including one day trip per week (usually with friends). We also relax, do summer reading programs, travel some, etc. Some unstructured time is nice for kids.

I don’t understand why it’s all or nothing. If you have 6 weeks of summer (taking out vacations) and you used to pay for 6 weeks of day camp, then pay for 2-3 weeks of more expensive specialty camps and the rest at home. Or look at half day classes which will cost less than full day programs. What kind of budget are you looking for?

My own kid who will be 12 this summer is doing a mix. She would be bored senseless if she was doing nothing all summer (we’re not in a neighborhood where there are other kids around and I work so can’t take her to do fun stuff.) A week of overnight Girl Scout camp, a week of rock climbing camp, a couple weeks of crew practice (early morning and the rest of the day free), etc.

When my kids were 12, we did a combination of camps and unstructured at home. Mostly sports camps, since that's what my kids were into, and while I'm a big fan of unstructured time, we live in a more rural area with not many kids around. So they didn't have friends to run around with, no community pool, etc., and I didn't want them spending the entire summer on devices.

In the spring we would look at what camps were being offered and they chose ones that they wanted to do, it averaged about two weeks of camp a month, two weeks unstructured. You're fortunate that you have a flexible summer work schedule, so if your DD wants to do a half-day camp, it could work out.

Is DD not interested in any camps at all? I would consider telling her she needs to choose a couple, whatever she may be interested in. What do her friends typically do over the summer? Maybe she could sign up with a friend for a camp or two?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opt for unstructured and I’ve yet to be disappointed. Every day after lunch we take a moderately long bike ride. Once a week we plan an afternoon out doing something. Once a week we plan having a friend over. We treat weekends normally. We also vacation twice and find summer is over before we know it.

Not OP but do you work? How are you able to do this all summer?

I work in administration for a school district and work mainly remotely during summer months.

By work, you apparently mean "work".

I don’t work much in the summer, no. But I DO work every day, though I can usually manage most things in a couple hours spread out throughout the day, and most things with my phone if emergencies arise. Summers are just different.

What does your 12 yo want to do? Is unstructured attractive to them? Is a combination of unstructured + a few weeks of more expensive camps an option?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opt for unstructured and I’ve yet to be disappointed. Every day after lunch we take a moderately long bike ride. Once a week we plan an afternoon out doing something. Once a week we plan having a friend over. We treat weekends normally. We also vacation twice and find summer is over before we know it.

Not OP but do you work? How are you able to do this all summer?

I work in administration for a school district and work mainly remotely during summer months.

By work, you apparently mean "work".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opt for unstructured and I’ve yet to be disappointed. Every day after lunch we take a moderately long bike ride. Once a week we plan an afternoon out doing something. Once a week we plan having a friend over. We treat weekends normally. We also vacation twice and find summer is over before we know it.

Not OP but do you work? How are you able to do this all summer?

I work in administration for a school district and work mainly remotely during summer months.

Spouse and I both work and don't have the kind of jobs where we can take 4 weeks of vacation and then also afternoons off during the week.

What I try to do is not have more than one week of unstructured time. So I sprinkle the lack of structure in over the summer but do have things for him to do. We do more niche camps that my kid is interested in and he also does summer swim team which does give some structure as well through mid to late July.

Anonymous wrote:We opt for unstructured and I’ve yet to be disappointed. Every day after lunch we take a moderately long bike ride. Once a week we plan an afternoon out doing something. Once a week we plan having a friend over. We treat weekends normally. We also vacation twice and find summer is over before we know it.

Not OP but do you work? How are you able to do this all summer?

Another vote for unstructured.

We opt for unstructured and I’ve yet to be disappointed. Every day after lunch we take a moderately long bike ride. Once a week we plan an afternoon out doing something. Once a week we plan having a friend over. We treat weekends normally. We also vacation twice and find summer is over before we know it.

This school break has been eye opening and I’m worried about what my 12yo will do all summer. Here are the facts:

She’s attended the same full-day summer camp since she was 5, but has aged out.

Last summer I researched alternatives for older kids, but they are way out of the area of what I’m comfortable spending/budgeting a week on summer camp. It would mean summer camp or family vacations.

We DO take two two-week-long family vacations over the summer, so that’s pretty much a full month where we have scheduled activities outside of the home.

I found a few 2-3 day themed summer clinics for kids her age, but she’s not thrilled with the idea. While she has many close friends, none can attend with her, and she’s often shy and takes some time to warm up to new people.

So now I’m left with three options:

Letting her have a carefree summer at home where I (someone who doesn’t work over the summer) try and plan a couple things outside of the house a week myself with DD,

Or skipping vacations so she can have a structured summer with day-camps and adequate socializing,

Or forcing her to attend these 2-3 day camps that she’s not interested in

I’m just worried that if we have an unstructured summer there will be too much sleeping in, too many hours spent on Roblox, etc. Please give me your honest thoughts!