Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 17:04     Subject: Re:Moving away from Adult Children
Anonymous wrote:You have no obligation to maintain the home they grew up in after they no longer live there. Lots of good personal and financial reasons not to.

And while you have no technical obligation to stay near them, it is my personal preference to try and stay near them while they are building their own families, so that I can help and also because I would like to have relationships with my grandchildren. One think I became acutely aware of when I had my own children is that it is incredibly hard to always have to travel to see grandparents when you have small children, and it means your kids simply see their grandparents less.

So if you want to be around for grandkids or you want to have a closer relationship with your adult kids, just keep in mind that moving far away will make this much harder as they will be dealing with more obligations than you (in-laws, children, work).


+1
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 17:01     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
I have moved away from my adult kids, moved back, lived with one for 6 months during 2020, moved away from that one but nearer to the other one, and they have both moved away from me at times.

I have not found it to be disruptive to our relationships at all because we visit each other regularly and stay in touch by phone call, text and video call regularly.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 16:57     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
Anonymous wrote:After your kids are grown and out of the nest, when should you move away from them? Do you stay until they are married? have grandkids?


Most kids want to move away, experience independence and then move closer when parenting themselves and then feeling judged and wanting to move away again and then getting old, feeling parental pain and want to move close again. Every case is different but still you can't plan your life around it. What of your kids are all in different states or in military or expats with multinationals?
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 16:23     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
Move away from them?
Usually they move away from you.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 12:48     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
Anonymous wrote:After your kids are grown and out of the nest, when should you move away from them? Do you stay until they are married? have grandkids?


Do you have reasons you need to move away from your adult children, ie. work? If so, move. There are no rules. Why would you wait until there are grandkids to move away?? I didn't move away and see my kids and grandkids regularly. I help with school pick up and have sleepovers. We are like a second home for them because we want to be involved. No one should think they have to though.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 12:36     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
You may want to stay but they may want to move for school, job, spouse, cost of living etc
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 12:34     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
Anonymous wrote:After your kids are grown and out of the nest, when should you move away from them? Do you stay until they are married? have grandkids?


Whatever your retirement requires.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 12:14     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
Depends if you want a good relationship with them and your potential grandchildren. Some people are ok with seeing their families 2x a year some prefer a few times a week or a month.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 12:08     Subject: Re:Moving away from Adult Children
You have no obligation to maintain the home they grew up in after they no longer live there. Lots of good personal and financial reasons not to.

And while you have no technical obligation to stay near them, it is my personal preference to try and stay near them while they are building their own families, so that I can help and also because I would like to have relationships with my grandchildren. One think I became acutely aware of when I had my own children is that it is incredibly hard to always have to travel to see grandparents when you have small children, and it means your kids simply see their grandparents less.

So if you want to be around for grandkids or you want to have a closer relationship with your adult kids, just keep in mind that moving far away will make this much harder as they will be dealing with more obligations than you (in-laws, children, work).
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 12:04     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
Just realize you will see them far far less when you do, and if/when they have kids, you may have to do all of the traveling. If the other side is nearby (and normal) they will likely end up much closer. I'd weigh how comfortable I'd be with each of these outcomes. People who have decent relationships with their parents often have a huge uptick in how much they see each other post grandkids.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 12:00     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
If they’re out of the nest, aren’t they away from you? So are you asking how long you’re obligated to keep the family home?
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 11:58     Subject: Re:Moving away from Adult Children

What PP said! Do whatever makes you happy, but don't depend on your children or grandchildren for your happiness.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 11:20     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
Anonymous wrote:After your kids are grown and out of the nest, when should you move away from them? Do you stay until they are married? have grandkids?


Whenever you want.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2023 10:52     Subject: Moving away from Adult Children
After your kids are grown and out of the nest, when should you move away from them? Do you stay until they are married? have grandkids?