Anonymous wrote:If things fall through the cracks, maybe they aren't that important

It's all fun and games until you miss your flight or your car catches fire.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared Google calendar that is color coded to individuals school related notices, etc. everyone can add to the calendar.

This. Also, I assign entire categories to DH (dog and cars). I don’t think about them. He does everything or it doesn’t get done. Sure, he once forgot to change the oil for 10K miles and the engine started to seize up. But he called the mechanic; he looked like an idiot; he never forgot again. If you don’t assign complete responsibility for something, you still carry the mental load and DH feels like an intern.

Yes. The other day my husband told me that sometimes he feels like my employee following instructions. Told him he can gladly take over CEO and think through the planning and logistics for everything.

If things fall through the cracks, maybe they aren't that important

I manage our house like I manage my team at work. I hand out projects and send calendar invites. Sure that mean “extra mental load” for me, but it also means our house runs like a well oiled machine.

We have 3 boys (5, 11, 13) and manage two school drop offs and a handful of sports. We have weekly huddles to discuss the upcoming week and how ongoing tasks are going (I.e. getting quotes for a window replacement, long term homework, cutting times in sports).

Shared Google Calendar is the way to go

Before Google, we would have a meeting every Sunday night after the kids were in bed to discuss the schedulenfor the upcoming week.

But Google Calendar keeps us sane! We each have our own (for work, M-F, 9-5 stuff), and, a family one, that ALL kids activities/events/school stuff/their doctor appointments + anything for either of us that is after 5pm or on a holiday or weekend.

The reality is I handle most kid stuff (doctor appointments, bday parties - gifts and to and from, etc.) and he handles most house and car stuff. Most does not equal all!

If it's not on the family calendar, it doesn't happen.

I have heard good things about the Cozi app - it has shared to do lists, but honestly we have better luck with just each taking one thing on to track and put it all in a shared google calendar. For example - I track Girl Scouts, but I enter everything in the shared calendar and if I have a late meeting, DH will drop off/pick up.

Anonymous wrote:Shared Google calendar that is color coded to individuals school related notices, etc. everyone can add to the calendar.

This is what we do.

We sit down once a month for about an hour and plan out what's coming up and who'll handle what. Once you take something on, you have to follow through - so if one insurance call says you have to call another month, it's still your project. This is when we pay bills, make travel arrangements, rsvp, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared Google calendar that is color coded to individuals school related notices, etc. everyone can add to the calendar.

This. Also, I assign entire categories to DH (dog and cars). I don’t think about them. He does everything or it doesn’t get done. Sure, he once forgot to change the oil for 10K miles and the engine started to seize up. But he called the mechanic; he looked like an idiot; he never forgot again. If you don’t assign complete responsibility for something, you still carry the mental load and DH feels like an intern.

100%. Figure out what he can handle (or an area where his mistakes won't bother you or will have consequences that will pain your DH greatly), and give it to him. Let those balls CRASH TO THE GROUND AND BREAK when he drops them. It's the only way he will learn.

Anonymous wrote:Shared Google calendar that is color coded to individuals school related notices, etc. everyone can add to the calendar.

This. Also, I assign entire categories to DH (dog and cars). I don’t think about them. He does everything or it doesn’t get done. Sure, he once forgot to change the oil for 10K miles and the engine started to seize up. But he called the mechanic; he looked like an idiot; he never forgot again. If you don’t assign complete responsibility for something, you still carry the mental load and DH feels like an intern.

We use Cozi.

Shared google calendar, but it only works if your DH is willing to check it regularly and to enter his stuff. You may have to let him get burned a few times by pretending you don't know about things that he hasn't entered-- make him feel the pain.

See what you can eliminate from your schedule-- including switching providers to improve your logistics. Your kids don't necessarily need as many activities and outings as you think they do. Down time at home and a peaceful and calm family life will really benefit them.

Purge as many objects from your home as possible. Everything is easier and simpler when you aren't distracted by physical and visual clutter.

Shared Google calendar that is color coded to individuals school related notices, etc. everyone can add to the calendar.

My only resolution for 2023 is to figure out a system for staying on top of all the things that need to get done and shifting some of the mental and logistical load to DH. One of our kids has mild SN and a ton of therapy appointments, out of network claims, etc. We both work and like lots of (most?) families, it’s just a constant juggle to make sure nothing falls through the cracks with kids, house, dog, car, etc.

What does your family do? Shared google calendar? Any of those household management apps? We have begun to have a weekly sit-down with the two of us to go over the coming week, which has been helpful, but we definitely need some kind of central resource that both of us are adding things to/checking on a regular basis.