Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family friend who does this. She keeps sending me fridge magnets from her travels, despite me telling her that I don't collect them and don't like to clutter up the fridge with them. I think pp is right that this is her love language, but it feels stifling sometimes. I have been clear with her about not wanting them, but she insists on doing it, disregarding my preference. At this point I think it's more about her than about me.

It feels stifling to get unwanted fridge magnets in the mail?

It feels stifling to have your preferences blatantly disregarded, over and over. It doesn't matter what the gift is.

People are total jerks these days jesus.

My SIL and I aren’t close at all. Yet, she sends me ‘gifts’ every Christmas. She knows am allergic to certain nuts and have lots of food intolerance. However, she makes sure to send me nuts…I’m tired of it but she’s overly sensitive and her being the doctor in the family (also knows it all type of individual) she can’t take rejection of any form. I opted to toss everything she sends but send her a thank you note for the gift.
It’s been 10 years, she keeps sending the damn nuts.

Anonymous wrote:I have a family friend who does this. She keeps sending me fridge magnets from her travels, despite me telling her that I don't collect them and don't like to clutter up the fridge with them. I think pp is right that this is her love language, but it feels stifling sometimes. I have been clear with her about not wanting them, but she insists on doing it, disregarding my preference. At this point I think it's more about her than about me.

It feels stifling to get unwanted fridge magnets in the mail?

I have a family friend who does this. She keeps sending me fridge magnets from her travels, despite me telling her that I don't collect them and don't like to clutter up the fridge with them. I think pp is right that this is her love language, but it feels stifling sometimes. I have been clear with her about not wanting them, but she insists on doing it, disregarding my preference. At this point I think it's more about her than about me.

What kind of stuff is she sending? Greeting cards or knick knacks for your house?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

WOW... you are a peach.

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

Anonymous wrote:Buying gifts is their love language. Thank them, be happy someone cares about you and move on. Donate, regift or throw out what you don’t want. This isn’t hard.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Buying gifts is their love language. Thank them, be happy someone cares about you and move on. Donate, regift or throw out what you don’t want. This isn’t hard.

I agree with this response.

The only person who sent me a lot of stuff I didn’t want was my mother. But she did this with all my siblings and next generation also. It was her love language. The frequent missing of mark with tacky gifts was legendary. However, she meant well and sought to show everyone she was thinking of them in her own way. I now treasure the stuff that used to annoy me.

I get it nay. E way more annoying from a more distant relative. However, I would try not to be offended but be good natured about it . Maybe wrap something silly but fun to give her at next family gathering. Nylon scratchy sox in neon colors or twinkies or something. Have fun with this.

Anonymous wrote:Let me back up, this person makes my skin crawl and I don't want to receive anything from them.

Then let your DH deal with that mail.

Let me back up, this person makes my skin crawl and I don't want to receive anything from them.

Buying gifts is their love language. Thank them, be happy someone cares about you and move on. Donate, regift or throw out what you don’t want. This isn’t hard.

I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.