Rude

Just daydream and smile occasionally

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, rude. Teen should not use them either. You are teaching him to be rude.

So he should sit there for nine hours while rude people rudely converse with each other in a language they know he doesn’t understand? Yeah, no.

OP, screw how long they “expect” you to stay. You’re adults with agency. Stay for dinner +2 hours or so.

No. Are you always this dramatic? As another poster suggested, leave the room to go take a nap or watch a movie. Or go out. No one should be sitting anywhere for 9 hours whether or not they speak the language. There’s something in between sitting there with no ear pods the entire time and sitting there with them in while with others.

I understand wanting to do this but yes rude. Sorry OP. I like the book idea someone had.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rude. You're walling yourself off and won't respond even if somebody tries to talk to you.

If you must, bring a book to read. That way, if somebody addresses you, you'll hear them and be able to respond.

So....maybe just one ear?

I think a book is worse because it’s a visible sign that you’re not participating. I wouldn’t do a movie, but I’d listen to podcasts, audiobooks or music with one earbud so I can hear my name if someone addresses me. I wouldn’t fare well with that kind of setting, so much noise that I can’t understand and no relief or distraction. I don’t blame the teen, and I wouldn’t blame you either.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, rude. Teen should not use them either. You are teaching him to be rude.

So he should sit there for nine hours while rude people rudely converse with each other in a language they know he doesn’t understand? Yeah, no.

OP, screw how long they “expect” you to stay. You’re adults with agency. Stay for dinner +2 hours or so.

I’m in your same shoes (foreign in-laws) and all I can say is, how the heck did you get it down to only 10 hours?!

I personally cook a couple of very elaborate dishes, but this isn’t martyrdom, I love to cook. If that’s not your hobby bring your knitting or a book or a sketch pad.

Anonymous wrote:Rude. You're walling yourself off and won't respond even if somebody tries to talk to you.

If you must, bring a book to read. That way, if somebody addresses you, you'll hear them and be able to respond.

So....maybe just one ear?

Yes, it’s rude, but at the same time, it’s ridiculous to sit in a house all day while people are speaking a different language. Agree with another poster that reading a book or a kindle would be more polite in case someone does try to talk to you.

I surf the web and read books at my ILs, with their blessing, but I don't block my ears with stuff, in case someone starts a conversation with me. I don't want to be rude.

Sorry, OP, but I think earbuds are not appropriate in this situation. Think of all the thing you could do in the reading department!

Rude. You're walling yourself off and won't respond even if somebody tries to talk to you.

If you must, bring a book to read. That way, if somebody addresses you, you'll hear them and be able to respond.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, very rude. What about all the people that do speak English? What’s your excuse for ignoring them?

I'm not. I would gladly speak to anyone who would speak to me, but honestly not one of them can really hold a conversation. It's usually a few broken sentences and some pantomiming, which I really don't mind (I'm an ESL teacher), but for the most part they are all just really having a great time catching up with each other and tend to forget I'm there.

Yes, rude. Teen should not use them either. You are teaching him to be rude.

It would be better if you went into a bedroom to "take a nap" and watched a movie there instead.

But, yes, it's rude of you to watch a movie. Or your spouse should be hosting a smaller English conversation with you and whomever wants to join.

Yes, very rude. What about all the people that do speak English? What’s your excuse for ignoring them?

My in-laws usually have 10-15 people over for Christmas, sometimes more. We are expected to be there all day (like 9-10 hours minimum). The problem is that most of them don't speak English very well, and I don't speak their language. They are nice enough people, and not trying to ignore me on purpose, but of course they are going to want to have conversations with each other, and they usually give up trying to speak English for me after about an hour (or a couple of drinks). I'm not offended by it at all - but I'm bored. So bored. My teenager has no problem whipping out his devices and ignoring everyone, and he gets away with it, but can I? I was thinking the airpods are pretty subtle, maybe I could just watch a movie on my phone?