Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don't poop where you eat.

Work is for working, not romance.

Ridiculous. So many people meet and go on to have relationships because of meeting at work. As long as everyone can behave like rational adults whether it works out or not there is nothing wrong with it.

Says the office floosy.

Anonymous wrote:Met a Coworker in person for the first time (remote work) a few months ago and we had intense chemistry. I froze up and shut it down. we are both unavailable.

I since have been noticeably cold and awkward - even stopped working with him voluntarily. I’ve seen him a few times and I now go into icy b-ch mode. I don’t mean to. And he noticed with now mutually distant responses.

What can I do to seem normal around him? I just want a normal working relationship but my instincts override. Help me fake it so I don’t seem like an a-hole!! Tricks?

As having gone through a couple of these as a guy, if he genuinely likes and respects you and respects his own marriage/current relationship, he will not cross any boundaries. The feelings will fade and you can end up being good work friends. If you are b-chy to him, you will lose the friendship as well and he may end up being confused and disliking you because of the b-ch behavior. As long as you keep the flirting and what you say to him in check and don't act on emotion, you can handle this without having to push him away completely.

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don't poop where you eat.

Work is for working, not romance.

Ridiculous. So many people meet and go on to have relationships because of meeting at work. As long as everyone can behave like rational adults whether it works out or not there is nothing wrong with it.

Are you sure it’s chemistry, or are you projecting your attraction onto him?

I mean if you do not have to see him, just sort of avoid him until you feel nothing. It will happen.

If you have to see him regularly, start looking elsewhere.

I’ve never crossed the line physically but I’m intensely attracted to and way too close with my boss. The job is one where he i am his second in command at the company and so it’s impossible to cut contact. We’re both married w kids. We’ve gone through everything together in building a business but I’m not sure I want to do this anymore and it’s better to get out because there’s no good outcome here. I love our employees and they love me but…I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you actually touch him or kiss him?

Op here - No. I separated myself from the situation when it felt too intense. Now my body language screams “f the back up..” . But reality is that I’m embarrassed by my own weird responses.

What? So nothing happened?

Figure out how to control yourself and then just be friendly and picture him as that coworker who is nice but you are not attracted to.

Anonymous wrote:Did you actually touch him or kiss him?

Op here - No. I separated myself from the situation when it felt too intense. Now my body language screams “f the back up..” . But reality is that I’m embarrassed by my own weird responses.

He’s probably sh#tting his pants that you’ll file a harassment complaint with HR.

Did you actually touch him or kiss him?

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don't poop where you eat.

Work is for working, not romance.

+1

Ignore the chemistry that was there and convince yourself he's a cousin or something lol.

Op, don’t over think it. Just start over. The past is in the past. I’m always surprised by how easy it is to re-establish relationships. Some of us just make it more difficult than it needs to be.

This is why you don't poop where you eat.

Work is for working, not romance.

Time. You’ll get over it.

Met a Coworker in person for the first time (remote work) a few months ago and we had intense chemistry. I froze up and shut it down. we are both unavailable.

I since have been noticeably cold and awkward - even stopped working with him voluntarily. I’ve seen him a few times and I now go into icy b-ch mode. I don’t mean to. And he noticed with now mutually distant responses.

What can I do to seem normal around him? I just want a normal working relationship but my instincts override. Help me fake it so I don’t seem like an a-hole!! Tricks?