Anonymous wrote:I would apply for food stamps for her. I would start putting aside a small amount of money in savings account you can afford ($100, 250 500 a month) for when her medications, PT, taxis, etc gets to the point where you help financially. Even then I would help in small ways at first (pay phone bill, etc). But most importantly you need to encourage her to find a community- church, village, etc so she has other people to lean on and keep an eye on her in addition to you.

-someone who financially supported her own mother for years

I would apply for food stamps, rental assistance, energy assistance, meals on wheels, start the Medicaid spenddown (you can spend down assets and still be eligible even if income is too high (med expenses offset income).

I would not set aside my own money for her. Not your responsibility. That’s what the government is for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is this with you? What would you want?

Well I’m the financial planner of our family so I probably need to plan financially for her end of life.

Pp is asking what you would want to happen if you were the MIL, not why are you thinking about this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is this with you? What would you want?

Well I’m the financial planner of our family so I probably need to plan financially for her end of life.

She is only 65. Need to plan for 30 yrs.

If she is 65 but unable to drive or work, and has no real social network, she isn’t living 30 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If her ex pre deceases her, she will be entitled to his full SS and then she may not qualify for the lower income apartment. I would ask what happens in this situation. Her income it too high for Medicaid/Medicare, but you can look into which Medicare plans would be best for her situation.

He’s been remarried multiple times and is currently married. Do you know if she would still be entitled to this?

yes, if her marriage longer than ten years

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is this with you? What would you want?

Well I’m the financial planner of our family so I probably need to plan financially for her end of life.

She is only 65. Need to plan for 30 yrs.

"Doesn't want to" may actually mean "cannot" drive or work. This is where my father is, at 72. His executive functioning skills and memory have declined slowly and he hides this by saying he doesn't want to do things.

Your MIL might not have long living independently anyway, OP. After that it will be a Medicare facility.

See if you company offers Short/Long Term Care for parents. Someone told me this is an option for the Federal Govt, although they are closing the application process soon.

I would apply for food stamps for her. I would start putting aside a small amount of money in savings account you can afford ($100, 250 500 a month) for when her medications, PT, taxis, etc gets to the point where you help financially. Even then I would help in small ways at first (pay phone bill, etc). But most importantly you need to encourage her to find a community- church, village, etc so she has other people to lean on and keep an eye on her in addition to you.

-someone who financially supported her own mother for years

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is this with you? What would you want?

Well I’m the financial planner of our family so I probably need to plan financially for her end of life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If her ex pre deceases her, she will be entitled to his full SS and then she may not qualify for the lower income apartment. I would ask what happens in this situation. Her income it too high for Medicaid/Medicare, but you can look into which Medicare plans would be best for her situation.

He’s been remarried multiple times and is currently married. Do you know if she would still be entitled to this?

It depends on the tenure of the marriages.

Anonymous wrote:If her ex pre deceases her, she will be entitled to his full SS and then she may not qualify for the lower income apartment. I would ask what happens in this situation. Her income it too high for Medicaid/Medicare, but you can look into which Medicare plans would be best for her situation.

He’s been remarried multiple times and is currently married. Do you know if she would still be entitled to this?

OP, what is this with you? What would you want?

If her ex pre deceases her, she will be entitled to his full SS and then she may not qualify for the lower income apartment. I would ask what happens in this situation. Her income it too high for Medicaid/Medicare, but you can look into which Medicare plans would be best for her situation.

If she qualifies for a low income apartment, she may qualify for other help with utilities and food.

My mother in law is 65 with no plan for the future. She gets under $2k a month social security (it’s from her divorced ex husband, DH’s dad, that she gets this high amount) and I applied for her to live in a nice low income senior housing apartment.

She was a rough mom for my DH (alcoholic and not very involved) but she tries hard to be a good grandparent but she has a lot of issues and anxiety (will no longer drive even though she’s in good health because she’s anxious) so she relies on us a lot. She also refuses to work because she doesn’t want to be on her feet but we have offered to help her get a part time job. No interest at all.

What should WE be doing now? How much financially do we need to plan for her? We are couple early 40’s.