Relationship ended 21 years ago, I still think of him regularly. It was an intense and valuable three years of my life and I don't want to ignore that. It wasn't bad until it ended badly. I think I kind of mourn him and the relationship as if they were both dead even though he isn't. I do know, however, he is not and will never be anyone I would want to have anything to do with now so it's not longing for him, it's just memories.

This time of year is particularly difficult remembering the times we had together.

Anonymous wrote:Not the ex- but the Ho that was part of it. Working hard to get rid of that anger and disgust.

Yep, same. The thoughts haunt me. I wish I could make them go away, but I can’t. I can’t sleep at night because of thoughts of that person that won’t go away. When I finally do fall asleep, those thoughts makes me feel so sad every morning when I wake up. I have a minute or two when I first wake up where I feel that my life is the same as I thought, but then those thoughts come back and I feel terrible again.

I’m not sure I’ll ever feel “normal” again.

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to remove the thought. You can’t.

You say “hi thought, those were good time” “bye thought I’ve got things to do”

The reality is you can’t stop a thought from happening, what you do with that thought you control. Do you ruminate? Don’t do you get sad? Don’t

Just say hi and dismiss it.

This is what I do.

Not ex, but the abuse towards me. Every time I see him I'm reminded what he put our family through.
The current man would live in my head for a long time if he were to leave.

I found that new, vivid memories helped to remove her from my brain. And several young women.

Yes. It has been 17 years.

Not the ex- but the Ho that was part of it. Working hard to get rid of that anger and disgust.

Three years and counting. But maybe part of that is I don’t mind so much anymore . At least once a day to think of them.

Stop trying to remove the thought. You can’t.

You say “hi thought, those were good time” “bye thought I’ve got things to do”

The reality is you can’t stop a thought from happening, what you do with that thought you control. Do you ruminate? Don’t do you get sad? Don’t

Just say hi and dismiss it.

Took two years to exorcise them. I stopped letting thoughts of them enter my brain and finally decided to focus on myself. But it did take time.

I haven’t found the cure for it yet…

They just live there. Sometimes quiet sometimes not. I gave up and just figure it is like an invisible friend except I don’t talk about it out loud.

For a long time I didn’t think about them At all (like 15+ years) but a pandemic fueled mid life crisis brought them back.

Two years and haven't been able to yet. Have dated a lot since and no one compares so I let them go.

Why and how did you finally remove them?