Some people do not stop being "family" because they divorced. They stop being a couple, and there's a difference.

Anonymous wrote:We send a joint Xmas card.

It’s a picture of our whole family at a graduation.

It’s normal for an amicable divorce. It’s not normal if there was abuse or a toxic environment.

I thinks it’s super weird for step mom to send a “family” photo at Xmas with somebody else’s kids. That’s super weird.

No, what's weird is you sending out cards with your ex.

The stepmom is part of a new family that involves your former husband and children.

If you cannot accept this and are sending out cards with your "family" (including the ex), I assure you that you are the one being perceived as "super weird."

This feels like a good time to let the kids know what divorce is.

The whole "we are still one big happy family" thing is mildly charming when you are talking to your own kids, but beyond cringey when it comes to other people.

Sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. here. Wow, I mean we had an amicable divorce and young children. The kids want to still do our annual picture and cards. It seems harsh to say dad is not allowed. Neither of us have new SOs. Was going to put both our last names so there is no confusion about us not being together.

Why don't you just get back together then? Doesn't make sense why you are divorced.

NP. Because we don’t want to be married. It really comes down to I don’t want to have sex with him. He’s a great guy otherwise.

We send a joint Xmas card.

It’s a picture of our whole family at a graduation.

It’s normal for an amicable divorce. It’s not normal if there was abuse or a toxic environment.

I thinks it’s super weird for step mom to send a “family” photo at Xmas with somebody else’s kids. That’s super weird.

Anonymous wrote:OP. here. Wow, I mean we had an amicable divorce and young children. The kids want to still do our annual picture and cards. It seems harsh to say dad is not allowed. Neither of us have new SOs. Was going to put both our last names so there is no confusion about us not being together.

Why don't you just get back together then? Doesn't make sense why you are divorced.

Do not do this. Just send a christmas card of the kids.

I would assume it would mean you're getting back together

OP. here. Wow, I mean we had an amicable divorce and young children. The kids want to still do our annual picture and cards. It seems harsh to say dad is not allowed. Neither of us have new SOs. Was going to put both our last names so there is no confusion about us not being together.

Weird.

Confusing.

Yes

Totally weird.

Yes.

Is it weird to send out joint Christmas cards with your ex spouse and kids?