Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the feedback. I remember both of my parents getting into arguments with relatives that went on for hours and eventually both sides either made up or did not speak for years. It was so much extra stress for people with small kids, I imagine. And now they’re trying to get into it with me. I know the next thing will be “you’re keeping me from my grandchildren.” I could smell it coming.
Anonymous wrote:This is going to be a challenge for you. You’re already here seeking out permission to contact her.
DON’T.
When you feel like you want to reach out, just come and read this thread. Give yourself a treat for every day you don’t reach out. She’s counting on you to stumble and call with an apology. As another poster said, doing so would just undermine what you said and make it seem like you really didn’t mean it. She’s attempting to punish you with her silent treatment. Please don’t engage.
Anonymous wrote:You don't handle it. Don't contact her if she does not contact you (apart perhaps from birthday or Holiday wishes, just to be courteous). Don't invite her over for Christmas - you can go on a little trip at around that time.
If you're nearly 50 you should have learned all this long ago. I cut off my mother for half a year in my 30s, after an escalation of verbal abuse. She learned her lesson and has been way more polite and considerate ever since.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why would you allow her to invite herself for Christmas? Nope.
OP here. I tried to keep the peace for the sake of the kids having grandparents. Looking back, though, that only resulted in some ugly moments including pushy behavior when it first kid was born-refusing the leave the hospital at my request because she felt she had a right to be there.
I’ve also seen this sad grudges play out in my family over the decades and did not want to be part of that either. But here we are surprise, surprise. My dad will not speak with me either. She controls him.
Anonymous wrote:Why would you allow her to invite herself for Christmas? Nope.