Anonymous wrote:That's not very interesting to post about though

+1. People also don’t post in the Relationship forum about their normal, stable marriages.

Anonymous wrote:I love hosting Thanksgiving. Prefer to do everything myself except the desserts. Agree with pp that Thanksgiving food is usually pretty easy and basic, you just need to juggle a lot of it.

This is how we do it on my side of family also. Host does everything but desserts. It’s a lot of work, but only when it’s your turn. And we’re all pretty decent cooks, so it makes for a more unified meal.

Now with my ILs, it’s potluck style and the food is all over the map. Organized chaos is sort of their brand. While the food prep doesn’t necessarily stress anyone out, there are simmering resentments among siblings going back decades that can ratchet things up.

I love hosting Thanksgiving. Prefer to do everything myself except the desserts. Agree with pp that Thanksgiving food is usually pretty easy and basic, you just need to juggle a lot of it.

The issue isn’t the food or hosting. The issue is that toxicities surface at holidays. And it gets compounded over the years, especially if relatives only gather once a year.

That's not very interesting to post about though

Are you saying DCUM posts aren’t representative??

I agree with OP. Potluck is the way to go, although it should be acknowledged that the hosts also have responsibility for getting the house ready, which is another layer of stress.

However, everyone should acknowledge that hosts have varying levels of help from spouses and others. Also, for anyone with small kids, this time of year, with childcare for school closures, parent-teacher conferences, cooking, travel, and other responsibilities is taxing beyond belief, even in pot luck situations.

Hosts get angry from too much cooking. They want to stick a fork in the guest hy the time the Turkey is done. So much rage in the kitchen. Go potluck to keep peace.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You created the post...why don't YOU tell us what the issue is?

Just take a quick glance at all the whiny posts on here. It’s like people TRY to be unhappy.

I can see you posting this in one of those actual threads, but starting your own is just you TRYING to be combative.

Um…who are you talking to? That’s how we do it. I don’t know a single family who doesn’t do it that way, unless people are flying in with small children or something.

Op thinks Thanksgiving stresses people out because of cooking. She thinks that potluck style is the remedy for family conflict because she's clueless.

Anonymous wrote:You created the post...why don't YOU tell us what the issue is?

Just take a quick glance at all the whiny posts on here. It’s like people TRY to be unhappy.

You created the post...why don't YOU tell us what the issue is?

No issue here. Thanksgiving food is also easy to make - Just mixing and baking.

One relative hosts, provides the turkey, apps and some drinks. Others bring a side and a dessert. No one is mad or stressed. The host rotates year to year. This is how it is for both sides of our family. It’s not hard or anger-inducing. Men and women both help. What’s the issue?