Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, I totally support him and am on board but I know each sets of parents will flip out. (And his mother bought and is bringing the turkey tomorrow, which DH says he can "do something" with over the weekend.) I am not looking forward to gripes from them, namely his mom saying how hard he works (which will be directed snidely at me as if it's my fault) while my dad complains and my mom tries to cover for everyone by deciding to cook herself even though she has glaucoma and can't see well...I just think the fallout will be bad.

Then tell your DH to handle the fallout. Please respect his wishes. He is signalling that he is stressed out. You can even have him say that the order is already placed so no need to cook more food. He can be in charge of letting his mom know re: turkey.

Anonymous wrote:Can't you take this off your DH’s plate by handling it yourself? Order a precooked Thanksgiving meal from Wegmans and heat it up. Not too onerous for you, keeps extended family happy, and no stress for DH.

I offered to do this! He said no, I really have had a crappy work week and just want Chinese.

He decided this two days before Thanksgiving? You had no indication given there was no turkey or other related groceries in the house? I don't really believe this to be true...

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, I totally support him and am on board but I know each sets of parents will flip out. (And his mother bought and is bringing the turkey tomorrow, which DH says he can "do something" with over the weekend.) I am not looking forward to gripes from them, namely his mom saying how hard he works (which will be directed snidely at me as if it's my fault) while my dad complains and my mom tries to cover for everyone by deciding to cook herself even though she has glaucoma and can't see well...I just think the fallout will be bad.

Just tell everyone loudly that this is what your husband wanted, and that complaints and comments are not welcome.

Thanksgiving is an American holiday. Not Chinese. Don’t eat Chinese food. Gross.

Can't you take this off your DH’s plate by handling it yourself? Order a precooked Thanksgiving meal from Wegmans and heat it up. Not too onerous for you, keeps extended family happy, and no stress for DH.

I'm the OP, I totally support him and am on board but I know each sets of parents will flip out. (And his mother bought and is bringing the turkey tomorrow, which DH says he can "do something" with over the weekend.) I am not looking forward to gripes from them, namely his mom saying how hard he works (which will be directed snidely at me as if it's my fault) while my dad complains and my mom tries to cover for everyone by deciding to cook herself even though she has glaucoma and can't see well...I just think the fallout will be bad.

Your husband just had an EXCELLENT idea, so please support him.

I would indulge this and go all out.

Get tons of Chinese food.

Go to the store tomorrow and get edamame, Fly by Jing sauces (Whole Foods), chili crisp, fortune cookies, maybe stop by a Chinese bakery. Go to World Market and get Chinese drinks. H-mart snacks. Have fun with it! It'll be 2 hours or errands for less work in the kitchen.

Make a green bean casserole with chow mien noodles and friend onions.

If your family, like mine, would be "sad" at no turkey, don't tell them. if they bring sides, put them in the mix, too. And then do it for Christmas if you must.

I mean, have you already bought the turkey? Confused about whether you’ve already purchased all the food…

We switch between Chinese and Italian... so much better than cooking a huge meal.

Why don't you and your mother cook together?

Can you cook? If not, order in Chinese and make holiday desserts. Your family won’t mind. It’s about being together. Your DH needs a break. He is telling you that. Support him.

I think your husband's plan sounds very wise. Tell your mom this is important to him and please respect his wishes.

He cooks every year for our immediate family plus my parents and his parents, plus my sister and her family.
This year he said he doesn't want to cook and just wants to do takeout. He literally declared this about an hour ago. He has been under tons of work stress, but he gave no indication that this would be too much for him. I offered to make a dinner reservation somewhere and he said no, he really just wants to stay home and veg out with takeout. I actually don't care but I cannot imagine either of our parents are going to go for this at all. My mom is going to offer to throw something together and she is way too old. His mother doesn't cook. WTF. DCUM. advise...