Anonymous wrote:The details of went I went through with my second were a bit different, but the bottom line was the same - my baby was doing fine, but I was not getting nearly enough sleep, had another very young toddler to care for, and was starting to lose my mind. While everything with my baby was “normal” and I was troubleshooting, and all that, I realized way too late that my mental health and well-being were slipping. Never to a super scary place, but white-knuckling it through essentially four months was a huge mistake, and one that in some ways I’m still paying for now, 15 months postpartum, with my physical and mental health.
I wish, wish, wish I’d thrown up my hands and said “this isn’t tenable” earlier than I did.
So that’s my advice. This isn’t tenable. Yup, plenty of people handle it. Good for them. But for me, and it sounds like for you, and for others, it’s just not manageable while also caring for yourself in even the most basic way.
So, I implore you to make a change so that you start immediately getting significantly longer chunks of sleep, regularly and frequently. Either pump, or combo feed, or just wean to formula. A sane mother is dramatically better for a baby than breast milk. Then either have your husband do a long stretch each night (when you wear earplugs or go to another part of the house where you can’t hear the baby) or hire a night nurse, or bring in family or friends to help.
Yes, a night nurse is pricey. But having not slept more than 2 hours at a time in 10 weeks is an emergency, so if you have an emergency fund, use it. That’s what it’s there for.
Congrats on the baby, and good luck!
A baby who has doubled birth weight can go 4-5 hours during daddy time w/o a feed. I wouldn't bother with pumping and only bother with formula if dad finds it easier to manage baby during his shift. My DH managed with holding and bouncing on an exercise ball.