If you meet a jerk in the morning, you had a bad morning. If you meet jerks all day… you’re the jerk.

I’m just amazed at people who lament the “DC culture.” YOU are part of the DC culture. You have complete power over every aspect of this, so make whatever changes you need to make not to be in a “rat race.”

How strange. As a Fed I feel none of this, and think that the DMV is a chill place to raise a family. Maybe it's a private sector rat race thing?

Yup, same here.

I moved here in a very different era of my life when I was more interested in the rat race, but now feel stuck here in middle age with kids in schools and my DH and I in careers that don't translate well to other areas. We are hoping to, at a minimum, move to a less competitive and intense part of the region soon so that our kids can grow up somewhat normal and not just sign up for more of this.

I started to feel like I didn't have the same values as people her in grad school but ignored it and now I wish I'd listened. I've made a nice live for myself here but it requires careful screening of friends and professional associates. I have learned to be very wary of people and to tune out the competition (at work, at school, at hobbies -- people here are so competitive and it can take the joy out of things).

Same! I hate the DC area. Wish we could move out west and live in the mountains.

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of work and people and constantly being on my toes and having everything be so high stakes. I wish I lived in a log cabin in Norway or somewhere with free healthcare, just by myself and two or three dogs. .

What's stopping you? You are the master of your fate and the the captain of your soul. Stop complaining and Just Do It!

We've lived in NY, Boston and the SF bay (both SF and east)- as well as rural new england and florida.

DC is so much less stressful than NY and SF (though not east bay). But that may just be since we don't hang out with finance and tech types here. Man some of those people are so wound up.

Now it is still 100x worse than rural new england. I want to move back someday. (I'll pass on rural florida for all the weird shit you deal with there)

Have you considered that you're doing this to yourself and could choose to not participate in rat race activities?

I hear you, OP. I don't know what it is about this area that makes it feel so stressful and generally miserable. Everything is so expensive, traffic makes going out and doing anything miserable (let's not even get into the road rage around here), it just seems like everything's a giant hassle. But other big cities with traffic and high costs of living don't seem to be so awful. I don't get why DC is so weird! Is it the concentration of politicians or what? I'd be gone in a minute if we weren't tied to DH's job, sigh.

Please move. It’s not normal to live that way.

didn't you start the same thread last week?

Anonymous wrote:We hated it too, and moved to NYC. We find it much less stressful and the people to be much more secure in themselves and more open-minded.

I don't think this is a universal NYC experience...but glad it worked out for you.

-New Yorker

Anonymous wrote:We hated it too, and moved to NYC. We find it much less stressful and the people to be much more secure in themselves and more open-minded.

I also think that people in Miami are incredibly insecure and superficial. NY was much better. People have interests and personality and can talk about things other than their house and their cars.

We hated it too, and moved to NYC. We find it much less stressful and the people to be much more secure in themselves and more open-minded.

I know exactly what you mean.
That’s why I spend a few weeks each summer in my mountain house in a village ( Eastern Europe), all by myself.

I am so sick of work and people and constantly being on my toes and having everything be so high stakes. I wish I lived in a log cabin in Norway or somewhere with free healthcare, just by myself and two or three dogs. .