It's not so much a clique as genuine friendships formed from spending a lot of time together through their activities. I don't think that's a clique - although it is hard to break into a group of kids who have a longstanding friendship. It might be easier if your child joins the activity.

And for what it's worth, Girl Scouts drops off in middle school, after that most girls won't admit they're part of it, LOL!

Anonymous wrote:My girls are in middle school now. The girl scout clique kind of remains for the girls who stick with it, but that number isn't very large. One of my daughters does club swim is fiends with the girls she swims with, but the numbers are supper small. I think that holds for any sport where they've been with the same girls for years (with swim, it's the same basic group that she was swimming with as a third grader). Summer swim is so big that it isn't a clique so much as it's cliquey

Our girl scout troop disbanded by middle school too and the ones who stayed with it tended to be more introverted/outdoorsy types.

There is a mom at our school (kids are currently in 5th grade so 10) who since kindergarten has really pushed her kid to be in sports and other activities. I think she has FOMO and it appears all the kids on the different teams are having a grand old time that they are left out of. Her daughter does not like sports but still they push. My kid does like sports and I can say from the inside that there are groups of kids who like to hang out together within these teams, but there are things like team dinners at the end of the season, impromptu lunch after a weekend game, etc that you would need to be on the team to know about and join in.

All this to say your daughter should go to what she is interested in if you have the time to pursue. Let her find her own friends.

Also as a parent of a 10 year old who has watched dynamics play out since K - a lot of early elementary friendships or groups are parent driven, 5th grade they are really finding the people they want to hang out with. This can be in or out of an activity.

Anonymous wrote:Summer swim team cliques are a thing in May and September at our school. Very few kids in our area do summer swimming because of long wait lists by us, save for a group of local parents who have inherited sponsored country club memberships. That group gets really excited about themselves in K-3rd grade but it wears off quickly.

As for Girl Scouts, it’s the opposite of a clique. We have a troop at our school that is multiage and always begging for new members. It’s a fun activity that people just aren’t into in our school community. But at some schools it becomes a big mom-led clique, because troops are completely led by volunteers. Sometimes those volunteers use adult:child ratios and other bureaucratic hurdles that officially exist for safety reasons but twist them for their own purposes. They to will “close” a troop to newcomers so they don’t have to lead difficult girls, girls their daughters aren’t friends with, or girls whose parents they don’t like.

OP here. We are members of a country club but none of the kids at our school are members. If we did swim team, we would join the local neighborhood pool team.

I would like to join Girl Scouts but there isn’t a troop for kindergarten. In the upper grades, I often see large groups of Girl Scouts hanging out together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please try to avoid the word “clique” and the idea of social divides as you raise your daughter.

Girl Scouting welcomes everyone, although, as stated above, some people may try to be exclusive. Your daughter can join any troop anywhere, as long as you can get her there. Girl Scouts can pick and choose what troop activities they have time for. There are amazing opportunities for girls as they get older, including travel and leadership. Girls can attend summer day and resident camps, even if they are not Girl Scouts, as long as they register as a scout for the camp experience, to be covered by the camp insurance.

Your job as a parent of a young girl is to offer opportunities as you are able, with her developmental needs in mind, and stand back.

None of what you wrote negates the girls who do participate forming a clique in school.

NP and sure, but what the OP is describing are not "cliques." Cliques are typically organized around nothing of any relevance, just a way to establish and maintain social dominance. A Girl Scout troop is not a clique; it's a group of girls participating in a group with shared goals, mission, etc. Same with swim team or any sports team, band, etc.

OP, if your daughter wants to join Girl Scouts, look into forming a troop or seeing if one near you is accepting new members.

Same goes for swimming: if your daughter wants to join a swim team, sign her. At five, it's very easy to find, community pools aside.

Anonymous wrote:Please try to avoid the word “clique” and the idea of social divides as you raise your daughter.

Girl Scouting welcomes everyone, although, as stated above, some people may try to be exclusive. Your daughter can join any troop anywhere, as long as you can get her there. Girl Scouts can pick and choose what troop activities they have time for. There are amazing opportunities for girls as they get older, including travel and leadership. Girls can attend summer day and resident camps, even if they are not Girl Scouts, as long as they register as a scout for the camp experience, to be covered by the camp insurance.

Your job as a parent of a young girl is to offer opportunities as you are able, with her developmental needs in mind, and stand back.

None of what you wrote negates the girls who do participate forming a clique in school.

Please try to avoid the word “clique” and the idea of social divides as you raise your daughter.

Girl Scouting welcomes everyone, although, as stated above, some people may try to be exclusive. Your daughter can join any troop anywhere, as long as you can get her there. Girl Scouts can pick and choose what troop activities they have time for. There are amazing opportunities for girls as they get older, including travel and leadership. Girls can attend summer day and resident camps, even if they are not Girl Scouts, as long as they register as a scout for the camp experience, to be covered by the camp insurance.

Your job as a parent of a young girl is to offer opportunities as you are able, with her developmental needs in mind, and stand back.

So you're asking if your kindergartner will be friends with the kids on the swim team 10 years from now?

Summer swim team cliques are a thing in May and September at our school. Very few kids in our area do summer swimming because of long wait lists by us, save for a group of local parents who have inherited sponsored country club memberships. That group gets really excited about themselves in K-3rd grade but it wears off quickly.

As for Girl Scouts, it’s the opposite of a clique. We have a troop at our school that is multiage and always begging for new members. It’s a fun activity that people just aren’t into in our school community. But at some schools it becomes a big mom-led clique, because troops are completely led by volunteers. Sometimes those volunteers use adult:child ratios and other bureaucratic hurdles that officially exist for safety reasons but twist them for their own purposes. They to will “close” a troop to newcomers so they don’t have to lead difficult girls, girls their daughters aren’t friends with, or girls whose parents they don’t like.

Girl Scout membership drops off around 5th grade, and even more in middle school. I have a 6th grader who is still in scouts and she only hangs out with a subset of the girls outside of school. They are friendly enough and have fun together at scout meetings, but that's it. She has always had other friends outside of scouting. They only meet twice a month, so it's not an all consuming activity.

Sports cliques were a thing in her elementary school, but really revolving around the kids who played soccer at an advanced level. The swim kids were split between various teams so they didn't separate the same way. It makes sense that kids who are spending hours a week together outside of school on a shared interest would click.

These aren’t cliques, they are activities that involve spending time together. The more time kids spend time together, they closer they get and the more opportunities they have for impromptu play dates after practice or several families going out to dinner after a meet.

Your child can be friends with kids who are in those activities, even have play dates and things outside of school, but she won’t be included in team / troop social activities if she is not on the team or in the troop. If she is interested in the activity, why wouldn’t you sign her up for the activity?

Surely some kids stay friends for years and others grow apart - just like any group of friends. On any sports team or activity, some kids will be closer than others.

My girls are in middle school now. The girl scout clique kind of remains for the girls who stick with it, but that number isn't very large. One of my daughters does club swim is fiends with the girls she swims with, but the numbers are supper small. I think that holds for any sport where they've been with the same girls for years (with swim, it's the same basic group that she was swimming with as a third grader). Summer swim is so big that it isn't a clique so much as it's cliquey

Our swim team is very welcoming. It really depends on the team.

Our school definitely has that clique and many of them stay friends through graduation. You have to join the activities to be included.

I have a 5yo daughter. At our school, there is definitely a large Girl Scouts and swim team presence. We don’t have a kindergarten troop but my daughter does love to swim. She has been taking lessons all through preschool.

Do you have to join these activities to be included?
Do the girls stay friends in upper elementary/middle/high school?