Anonymous wrote:OP: He has attended school meetings and doctors appointments. It’s very frustrating because I see samples of his work when he is all over the place and samples when he is one on one with a teacher and focused and it’s night and day.

that tells me he needs a strong IEP. totally reasonable place to start.

OP: He has attended school meetings and doctors appointments. It’s very frustrating because I see samples of his work when he is all over the place and samples when he is one on one with a teacher and focused and it’s night and day.

I think the answer is that you do not start such a treatment until both parents agree.

That said, I would urge your husband to consider a medication trial. ADHD stimulant meds work from day 1 and they are out of your system that same day. You start from a low dose and titer up slowly, if needed. If your husband saw what we saw the first few hours of that first day, I think he might be open to continuing.

That said finding the right medication and dose can take a long time and a lot of coordination with the school. I think the upcoming winter break is a great time to start and observe your child and then work with the school through the end of the spring semester to get to a new normal! Best of luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t relevant for a 7 year old, but something to consider for the future: teens and adults who don’t get treatment for ADHD are at risk for self medicating with illegal drugs or alcohol because they have such a hard time functioning.

Our developmental pediatrician told us that children with ADHD who are medicated develop more neural connections than those who aren’t medicated. The medication doesn’t form the connections; it merely helps children maintain focus on non preferred subjects. That focus aids the learning process, which is what builds the neural connections. That clinched our decision to medicate.

Have your child’s prescriber talk to your spouse about their specific concerns.

this is uneccesary fearmongering.

DP. No, it is not. People with ADHD are at a significantly greater risk for substance use disorders. Several studies have found that use of stimulant medication to treat ADHD is correlated with a lower rate of substance abuse, and that this effect is stronger the younger a child is when they start stimulant medication.

Yes it absolutely is fearmongering to say “your kid will become an addict if you don’t medicate them now.” the support for that simply does not exist. there IS much more modest support for immediate impact on behavior. there is no need to exaggerate or engage in distorting the evidence. a parent who wishes to focus on time and behavioral support for a while is completely reasonable and responsible.

Anonymous wrote:For a child that young and a parent who is on the fence, I would begin with executive functioning therapy and school supports for the next year or two. Then get another formal neuropsych report and reevaluate.

I am dealing with this right now and my spouse is dead set against medication for reasons he can't even articulate. But he is willing to try executive function coaching and school supports, so we'll start there. Our pediatrician has already indicated a willingness to prescribe (we have a diagnosis from a neuropsych evaluation), so I'm keeping that in my back pocket.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t relevant for a 7 year old, but something to consider for the future: teens and adults who don’t get treatment for ADHD are at risk for self medicating with illegal drugs or alcohol because they have such a hard time functioning.

Our developmental pediatrician told us that children with ADHD who are medicated develop more neural connections than those who aren’t medicated. The medication doesn’t form the connections; it merely helps children maintain focus on non preferred subjects. That focus aids the learning process, which is what builds the neural connections. That clinched our decision to medicate.

Have your child’s prescriber talk to your spouse about their specific concerns.

this is uneccesary fearmongering.

DP. No, it is not. People with ADHD are at a significantly greater risk for substance use disorders. Several studies have found that use of stimulant medication to treat ADHD is correlated with a lower rate of substance abuse, and that this effect is stronger the younger a child is when they start stimulant medication.

Anonymous wrote:Then dad can handle the calls from school, the frustrations, and the melt downs.

I would ask why he is against the meds. Would he say no to chemo if your child had cancer?

You need to take your husband with you to your sons medical appointment so he can become educated. I can almost guarantee you that he is “ against meds” because of the perceived stigma and maybe unconscious biases that he has. Maybe he heard a lot about Ritalin when he was young and that stuck with him. Modern ADHD meds are different, and they are a complete lifesaver.

For a child that young and a parent who is on the fence, I would begin with executive functioning therapy and school supports for the next year or two. Then get another formal neuropsych report and reevaluate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t relevant for a 7 year old, but something to consider for the future: teens and adults who don’t get treatment for ADHD are at risk for self medicating with illegal drugs or alcohol because they have such a hard time functioning.

Our developmental pediatrician told us that children with ADHD who are medicated develop more neural connections than those who aren’t medicated. The medication doesn’t form the connections; it merely helps children maintain focus on non preferred subjects. That focus aids the learning process, which is what builds the neural connections. That clinched our decision to medicate.

Have your child’s prescriber talk to your spouse about their specific concerns.

THIS. Your husband needs to read some studies showing the difference in long term outcomes for kids that are medicated.

the studies on long-term impact are FAR from conclusive. And it’s a really nasty thing to try to scare parents that way.
https://childmind.org/article/know-long-term-effects-adhd-medications/

adhd stimulant medications have support for reducing behavioral issues in the immediate term. in some cases that might be worth it - eg if the child is being kicked out of class and camps. but they are absolutely not the panacea that people claim on social media.

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t relevant for a 7 year old, but something to consider for the future: teens and adults who don’t get treatment for ADHD are at risk for self medicating with illegal drugs or alcohol because they have such a hard time functioning.

Our developmental pediatrician told us that children with ADHD who are medicated develop more neural connections than those who aren’t medicated. The medication doesn’t form the connections; it merely helps children maintain focus on non preferred subjects. That focus aids the learning process, which is what builds the neural connections. That clinched our decision to medicate.

Have your child’s prescriber talk to your spouse about their specific concerns.

this is uneccesary fearmongering.

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t relevant for a 7 year old, but something to consider for the future: teens and adults who don’t get treatment for ADHD are at risk for self medicating with illegal drugs or alcohol because they have such a hard time functioning.

Our developmental pediatrician told us that children with ADHD who are medicated develop more neural connections than those who aren’t medicated. The medication doesn’t form the connections; it merely helps children maintain focus on non preferred subjects. That focus aids the learning process, which is what builds the neural connections. That clinched our decision to medicate.

Have your child’s prescriber talk to your spouse about their specific concerns.

THIS. Your husband needs to read some studies showing the difference in long term outcomes for kids that are medicated.

This isn’t relevant for a 7 year old, but something to consider for the future: teens and adults who don’t get treatment for ADHD are at risk for self medicating with illegal drugs or alcohol because they have such a hard time functioning.

Our developmental pediatrician told us that children with ADHD who are medicated develop more neural connections than those who aren’t medicated. The medication doesn’t form the connections; it merely helps children maintain focus on non preferred subjects. That focus aids the learning process, which is what builds the neural connections. That clinched our decision to medicate.

Have your child’s prescriber talk to your spouse about their specific concerns.

Has dad been to the doctor to hear why your son needs medication, how the medication helps, what it is and isn't?
Is dad hands on with school, homework, socializing?
Or is he just back seat driving to swoop in and disagree because he has no understanding of what is going on with his own child?

In the end, I've never had a doctor ask for husband's permission for anything so rather than damage your sons life any further I would just go for it and have dad reach out to the school and doctors for help in understanding

Then dad can handle the calls from school, the frustrations, and the melt downs.

I would ask why he is against the meds. Would he say no to chemo if your child had cancer?

How did you handle if your spouse didn’t agree? Our son is 7 and at first I was again sat but now want to try it and his dad doesn’t.