Anonymous wrote:You might also look into "continuing care retirement communities" if your mother would want to stay in the same place and doesn't need as much assistance as your father.
Thanks. Unfortunately my mom is in worse shape than my Dad. She has severe dementia. She is immobile, can't talk...her current caregiver basically just keeps her clean, feeds her (liquid foods), and moves her around to prevent bed sores as much as possible. My Dad has POA over her and after a brief period in a memory care facility (him in independent living) he chose for them to live in an apartment close to my brother and have a private care giver take care of her (one main caregiver, with rotating substitutes to give the main one time off.)
About a month ago, he felt his own health was declining/he was feeling weaker and decided he also wanted a part time care giver. The owner of the agency he used for my mom's care convinced him that he (and my mom) should move to a different apartment closer to her so it would be easier for her to provide him with caregivers--and he went ahead and signed a lease on a place that is much further away (about an hour, but often more due to traffic) from my brother. Before, my brother was able to stop by most days--but now this new location is far enough that it will be difficult for him to get to more than once a week.
Just days after moving into this new apartment, my dad found out he has a rare and aggressive form of cancer and will need chemo twice a week for the next 4 months. His new apartment is also much further from his medical facilities. Transportation will be a huge issue going forward because the caregivers don't drive and my brother can't do it all, or even half--he has a job (the nature of the job requires him to go in person, it can't be done from home), owns his own business, and has 50% custody of his elementary age children. My brother would like to move both my parents into a nursing home so my dad can get care and also transportation to all of his medical appointments.