I thought I’d be living an UMC life a nice house and 2 kids in private, nice vacations, and a good job. I was worried it wouldn’t happen if I didn’t find the right guy to marry. I married. He wasn’t the right guy. I am not living that life. It’s depressing.

When I was in my twenties I was hoping to have my student loans paid off by my 40s and to live a comfortable life without counting my money in the grocery store to be sure we could pay the bill and living in My former house that is now about a $400k house. I imagined a few vacations a year and an expensive one maybe every other year. Expensive meaning like Europe on two star hotels off season. As a lesbian I didn’t imagine kids and I did t really imagine a long term relationship.

Reality is a 30 year relationship, kids, an UC income, two houses and a lifestyle that was beyond my wildest imagination. What happened is that it turned out that we were both really good in our careers and we really supported each other so we could be our best selves. We weren’t very risky though. Like I might have wanted to live in a different area with better weather but we’re still here.

Anonymous wrote:I could never fathom more than five years in the future. I still can’t.

+1

Anonymous wrote:When you were in your twenties, where did you think you'd be in your fifties?

I didn't imagine I'd be living in the US with American children. Nor did I foresee current health challenges. When I look at old college friends, many have also taken unexpected paths.

I think that I understood what would happen pretty clearly, but that didn’t help. I think what helps is having a lot of money. I think that there are usually nice, cheap options at most stages of life, but not for people who need long-term care.

I thought I’d be living an interesting life with kids and travel. Instead none of that has come to pass. I married the wrong guy.

When I was in my twenties, I was living in Italy and had an Italian boyfriend who I thought I would marry.

I didn't imagine at that time that I would ever live in the US and have American children. I never imagined that my marriage to an American would be so difficult.

And yet, here I am.

I could never fathom more than five years in the future. I still can’t.

When you were in your twenties, where did you think you'd be in your fifties?

I didn't imagine I'd be living in the US with American children. Nor did I foresee current health challenges. When I look at old college friends, many have also taken unexpected paths.