Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college

Yes it does. When you're married, you're much more likely to cooperate about how much each parent should be compared to when you're divorced.

Anonymous wrote:The obsession about college here is ridiculous. Your kids going to college and how to pay for it should not be relevant in your divorce. If you’re thinking about divorce, get divorced. Don’t wait for the kids to get out of college. A lot of people do that but it doesn’t actually serve a purpose.

Should not be relevant, but in actual practice, is relevant.

Very common for parents to use "who pays for college" as a weapon in their war against each other.

My XH has the attitude that I should pay for all of it, and is very clearly thinking that he can play chicken with me over it - "I'm not gonna pay anything, so either you can pay for all of it or you can saddle the kids with huge debt which you don't want to do, up to you."

The obsession about college here is ridiculous. Your kids going to college and how to pay for it should not be relevant in your divorce. If you’re thinking about divorce, get divorced. Don’t wait for the kids to get out of college. A lot of people do that but it doesn’t actually serve a purpose.

Anonymous wrote:You should include who pays how much for college in your separation agreement. Also include how much to put in 529 and what 529 money can be spent on.

That can be done but people are not required to include it. Marital status has nothing to do with paying for college. Parents can either pay or or not regardless of whether they are married or divorced.

Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college

College professor here. Seen this many times. The timing is very very bad. I mean, it's always a bad time for your parents to divorce, but your first year away from home is pretty bad.

Yes we did.

Yes he payed 1/2, our kids take $5K/yr loan.

We didn’t save because we pay/paid for private and college was not much more.

Anonymous wrote:If you all can easily afford it, why don’t you have 529’s now? Our oldest is 14 and her college is already paid for in a 529. Almost there with our younger DC.

It will be 529 plus other monies, and spouse has it, but might make it difficult. I do not make as much as spouse.

If you all can easily afford it, why don’t you have 529’s now? Our oldest is 14 and her college is already paid for in a 529. Almost there with our younger DC.

You should include who pays how much for college in your separation agreement. Also include how much to put in 529 and what 529 money can be spent on.

How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

Anonymous wrote:My wife would threaten that--she was going to divorce me when the kids went to college. So I filed for divorce 8 years before the oldest went to college.

Did you end up helping with college? Spouse will have no problem affording college, but might try to make it difficult, and I do not want the kids negatively impacted, in that regard.

My wife would threaten that--she was going to divorce me when the kids went to college. So I filed for divorce 8 years before the oldest went to college.

You need to talk to a lawyer.

Have you done it? How did it work out? Did spouse help pay for college, or leave it on your DC? I am afraid that spouse - who can more than afford it - will leave DC with their college bill, and not help.