Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:55
Subject: DD and her BF
Anonymous wrote:So, boyfriend is currently working and is 24. Is he involved in the dental school application process currently? IF he is accepted, he could potentially start dental school summer 2023 and graduate 2027 and he will be 28-29. How long is residency?
Lots of unknowns that I am familiar with (DS went to medical school). What is boyfriend gets accepted to OOS school. Will your DD move there or have a long distance relationship? Like others have said,if she doesn’t like the timeline, she needs to speak up.
He is working as a dental hygienist and doing some research as well before applying next year. Residency is 2 year but for his preffered specialty, it can be 4 years. She plans to move out of state with him if needed. Accounting work is mostly online so it shouldn't be an issue with her employer. She seems to be okay with this timeline.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:52
Subject: Re:DD and her BF
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I never understood the long dating -> long engagement -> long wait for children model.
Well then you must be rich. It's often financially motivated to ensure the new family is on solid ground money-wise.
They are already a couple. What financial difference will it make in their life together if there is a wedding ring or not?
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:51
Subject: DD and her BF
She needs to get to the "why" about this. If he fears that he won't be able to be fully present and support a family until he has an established practice, he's wrong. There is some struggle, of course, but that is part of life. She can help him understand that that is not the case and encourage him to talk to other dentists about their experience. There is no reason not to be married while in dental school.
Someone put this idea in his head (probably his parents). It needs to be corrected.
Someone put this idea in his head (probably his parents). It needs to be corrected.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:47
Subject: Re:DD and her BF
Anonymous wrote:I never understood the long dating -> long engagement -> long wait for children model.
Well then you must be rich. It's often financially motivated to ensure the new family is on solid ground money-wise.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:46
Subject: Re:DD and her BF
Anonymous wrote:I never understood the long dating -> long engagement -> long wait for children model.
Much better than the quick dating, quick engagement, quick kids, quick divorce model.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:46
Subject: DD and her BF
Things change. What they talk about now, may not turn out to be the timeline. What she's willing to wait for, now, she may not be willing to wait for later. Make sure she's not having to tell you a timeline because you keep asking. Let it be.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:43
Subject: Re:DD and her BF
I never understood the long dating -> long engagement -> long wait for children model.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:39
Subject: DD and her BF
Anonymous wrote:20 met
24 moving in
25-26 engaged
29-30 married
33+ kids
If they break up then 33 starting dating again.
That's the case whether they are engaged/married or not. That's life. Either your daughter trusts this guy and feels secure in their relationship or not - you can get engaged and still not be solid.
But really you need to stay out of this. Listen if your daughter wants to talk, and do not stir up trouble for her.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:38
Subject: DD and her BF
So, boyfriend is currently working and is 24. Is he involved in the dental school application process currently? IF he is accepted, he could potentially start dental school summer 2023 and graduate 2027 and he will be 28-29. How long is residency?
Lots of unknowns that I am familiar with (DS went to medical school). What is boyfriend gets accepted to OOS school. Will your DD move there or have a long distance relationship? Like others have said,if she doesn’t like the timeline, she needs to speak up.
Lots of unknowns that I am familiar with (DS went to medical school). What is boyfriend gets accepted to OOS school. Will your DD move there or have a long distance relationship? Like others have said,if she doesn’t like the timeline, she needs to speak up.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:32
Subject: DD and her BF
Anonymous wrote:My only advice to you would be to ask her how SHE feels about this timeline. Is she ok with it? If she is, you keep your mouth shut.
And don't say anything about this "best years of your life" thing you've got going on.
You don't want to put out your negative thoughts, because then she won't want to come to you if she does start having doubts. Keep a pulse on if she's happy and it she's being heard and listened to in her relationship. Don't judge her BF's timeline. Also, timelines can change. Just sit tight and support her.
Absolutely this, OP. It's DD's relationship to navigate, not yours. It's a decision between her and BF. Good for him for clearly stating his preferences. Now DD can agree, propose something different, or decide its not for her.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:32
Subject: DD and her BF
20 met
24 moving in
25-26 engaged
29-30 married
33+ kids
If they break up then 33 starting dating again.
24 moving in
25-26 engaged
29-30 married
33+ kids
If they break up then 33 starting dating again.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:23
Subject: DD and her BF
It would be easier to give advice if you broke it out by future age of your daughter. Like, age 26 engaged, age 30 married, etc.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:15
Subject: DD and her BF
What would be the best way to support her?
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:12
Subject: DD and her BF
My only advice to you would be to ask her how SHE feels about this timeline. Is she ok with it? If she is, you keep your mouth shut.
And don't say anything about this "best years of your life" thing you've got going on.
You don't want to put out your negative thoughts, because then she won't want to come to you if she does start having doubts. Keep a pulse on if she's happy and it she's being heard and listened to in her relationship. Don't judge her BF's timeline. Also, timelines can change. Just sit tight and support her.
And don't say anything about this "best years of your life" thing you've got going on.
You don't want to put out your negative thoughts, because then she won't want to come to you if she does start having doubts. Keep a pulse on if she's happy and it she's being heard and listened to in her relationship. Don't judge her BF's timeline. Also, timelines can change. Just sit tight and support her.
Anonymous
11/10/2022 08:07
Subject: DD and her BF
DD's BF of 4 years wants them to wait until he gets into a dental school to get engaged and then wait until he is done with school to get married and then wait until he is done with residency to have children. They are both 24 and employed. I stay out of it but wonder about her loss if they break up. It would be waste of her best years. She is a good looking CPA and finding a man who is more advanced in his life isn't an issue now but with age, it can be. It makes me worry for her.