Anonymous wrote:Earlier this year on my birthday my mom was in hospice on the downhill slope to passing away, and my dad was in the hospital with Covid, so I understand your pain.

I am so sorry you went through that, PP. I hope you are doing ok or at least better now.

OP, you sound like a wonderful person who is deeply connected to your family and incredibly responsible. Wishing you all the best in the year ahead.

It's hard OP, when life throws some punches on what should be a lighter day.

Find a way to celebrate, even if it's small. Buy yourself a treat, buy the family a treat, or take some time to just NOT do something.

I am sorry about your mom, there is no easy time for that.

You get a birthday re-do! At my house birthdays are a week, not a day, which enables a nice celebration instead of cramming it in on a weeknight.

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. I’d call a do over and find a way to celebrate your birthday - even if it is just taking yourself out to lunch or dinner or dessert. Take a little time to celebrate everything you are doing to hold it all together and remember that all this too shall pass.

Definitely find a moment to do something nice for yourself. I’m not a birthday person, but having a totally craptastic day on your birthday just feels like one more kick when you’re down. I’m sorry things are so rough right now. Happy belated Birthday.

So sorry OP. I’d call a do over and find a way to celebrate your birthday - even if it is just taking yourself out to lunch or dinner or dessert. Take a little time to celebrate everything you are doing to hold it all together and remember that all this too shall pass.

Earlier this year on my birthday my mom was in hospice on the downhill slope to passing away, and my dad was in the hospital with Covid, so I understand your pain.

Sorry, that is a bad day. I hear you, I am in a similar stage and it just. never. ends.
I like the previous poster’s idea of taking a morning off for breakfast - take 2 hrs one day this wk to go somewhere by yourself. Go to breakfast, a walk by the water, the bookstore, get a manicure- something just for yourself. Self care is not an indulgence, it is necessary for you to keep up with your current demands.

Big hugs. I’m not a birthday person at all, but you had a crap day if it wasn’t even your birthday, and that would have gotten me really down!!! It’s okay to be grumpy and sad about it.

Cancel some morning meetings and take yourself out to breakfast. You need a little time to focus on you.

I’m sorry and belated happy birthday.

It’s just a day and you can honor yourself and celebrate yourself this weekend when hopefully you will have a better day.

Birthdays are over-rated.

OP I can relate. I am not a birthday person. All I want is a card from my spouse and kids which I get and a date with my spouse which I get....when life isn't exploding. The last 2 birthdays have been spent with either an elderly parent in the hospital and the other elderly parent acting like an entitled jerk and with my child having surgery. Then both birthdays my mother might send a birthday email or card with a stabbing like "you really don't deserve this since you haven't visited me/done for me/catered to me in X number of days. If she dares to include a check she then adds more digs.She can't just say "happy birthday" and leave it at that.

Aww, hugs to you OP. I'm sorry you had a bad birthday. The only thing I can say is that many, many people have bad birthdays and while they hurt, it's pretty common. Have you expressed your needs to you dad, husband, and kids? If not, could you have a candid conversation and ask for them to help you? Like can dad come and visit with your mom? Can your husband help out more with kids and homework or pick up part-time job to help with bills? Can you explain to your kids that your mom needs you right now but you need them to do well in school?

I just sounds like you put everyone else before yourself and you are running on fumes.

Sorry OP, I’m not a birthday person, but that sounds like a really sh!tty day. Maybe try to plan something fun with your kids this weekend? Or bail on everyone and go do something for yourself?

On my birthday earlier this week, I:

1) Visited my mom in assisted living, where she didn't know what day it was, and was advised she is probably in her final month

2) Spent half my day getting her meds changed (on phone with hospice, the facility, etc.)

3) Was informed by DH that his car needed a $3500 repair

4) Got only one birthday call from my dad who then suggested I could make an effort to come to him for Thanksgiving, knowing full well I'm bedside with mom (he later apologized)

5) Worked a 10-hour day, since I'm primary breadwinner and covering mom's costs

6) Finally came home to abysmmal school test results from two of my kids (7 and 9) - like, below 20th percentile

Every day seems like some version of the above, and I feel like a child for being so bothered when it happened on my birthday, which I don't usually even make a stink about. Help me snap out of it!