He's absolutely right. Get a job and buy your own house.

Have you had a conversation with him where you ask him where your child together would live if something happens to him? What are his thoughts about that?

Since you are not legally married, if I were you I would get a FT job - you need that security for yourself and your children (he should not be responsible for your older children, unless it’s something he wishes to do).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fiancé of many years is buying a house (second home). He refuses to put me on the title and says it’s because I can’t pay the mortgage (I’m a stay at home mom and work part time). I’m not on the title of the house we reside in currently either. I guess if something happens to him, his older kids (he was married once before) will inherit the houses and I’ll be left with nothing. What happens in this situation? I am almost 50 and he’s five years older. I’m not money hungry but am very concerned that I won’t have a place to live with my kids (one of which is his) if something happens to him.

This... is what should happen.

When you're married, things may change.

But relying on your fiance/boyfriend to be your safety net, when he has kids of his own... is pretty selfish of you.

Boy the woman haters are out in force today. Selfish of HER? As a SAHM, presumably to his kids, and working, she IS contributing. He should be ashamed of himself for being a selfish a--hat.

OP- huge red flag. See a lawyer and/or get married. Or leave him. It's fine for him to care for his kids and leave them something but he clearly doesn't care about you.
Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:You are not married. He is right. If he is fully paying for the house, it makes sense. Stop having kid until you are married with him as you have no protection. Get a full time job and save.

If she's almost 50, I doubt there are a lot of kids in her future. At that age, it's likely her kids are teenagers who probably don't need a SAH parent anymore.
OP, get a job and support yourself. Otherwise, it seems like you're just hooking up with guys who can pay your bills.

Anonymous wrote:He’s not your fiance. You are never getting married. You should really get a job ASAP.

NP. This is harsh, but has merit. How long have you been engaged if you already have a kid together and are almost 50?

As long as you have not signed a prenuptial, then if something happens to him, you are the heir to his estate as his wife. Unless he writes a will that excludes you as well.

But not having you on the mortgage might actually be prudent financially. If you are a SAHM and you do not have a significant credit history or you have a low credit score, then including you on the mortgage can increase the interest rate that you would have to pay on the house. Additionally, some institutions might actually raise the down payment required for the loan to ensure that they are at less financial risk if something happens to the sole income earner, but they can't foreclose as easily because of two people on the loan.

And it is definitely a bad idea for both of you to be on the title and only have one (him, the income earner) on the mortgage. That causes lots of issues because it makes it harder for him to make financial decision, including refinancing and recasting the loan, without your consent and agreement. There was another thread about a wife who was on the deed, but not on the mortgage. Her husband had a financial lapse and wanted to renegotiate the loan with the bank to resolve his financial lapse, but the wife was refusing the sign off on it to punish her husband for being financially irresponsible. That type of marital bean counting and grudge holding is just bad financially.

The other issue is that you say that the house he is buying is a second house. That means that even if he were to will it to someone else, you wouldn't be left without a home to live in with your kids. You have the primary house that would be your home. Since you are a cohabitant of the primary house, you would inherit that as his spouse as long as he makes mortgage payments on that house after you are married. Any money he earned after marriage that goes into the house makes the house (or at least a portion of it) a marital asset that you would be entitled to half the value, should anything happen to him or between you.

Fiancé of many years?

I'd put my foot down personally. Does not bode well for optimism about the marriage. I wouldn't marry someone who wanted to do this. But maybe I have different ideas about what marriage is than others.

He’s not your fiance. You are never getting married. You should really get a job ASAP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fiancé of many years is buying a house (second home). He refuses to put me on the title and says it’s because I can’t pay the mortgage (I’m a stay at home mom and work part time). I’m not on the title of the house we reside in currently either. I guess if something happens to him, his older kids (he was married once before) will inherit the houses and I’ll be left with nothing. What happens in this situation? I am almost 50 and he’s five years older. I’m not money hungry but am very concerned that I won’t have a place to live with my kids (one of which is his) if something happens to him.

This... is what should happen.

When you're married, things may change.

But relying on your fiance/boyfriend to be your safety net, when he has kids of his own... is pretty selfish of you.

This is when dcum really make me crazy. While I agree with the first two posters to this thread, the bolded above is clear and unfair projection and speculation.

You need a new fiance.

Anonymous wrote:Fiancé of many years is buying a house (second home). He refuses to put me on the title and says it’s because I can’t pay the mortgage (I’m a stay at home mom and work part time). I’m not on the title of the house we reside in currently either. I guess if something happens to him, his older kids (he was married once before) will inherit the houses and I’ll be left with nothing. What happens in this situation? I am almost 50 and he’s five years older. I’m not money hungry but am very concerned that I won’t have a place to live with my kids (one of which is his) if something happens to him.

This... is what should happen.

When you're married, things may change.

But relying on your fiance/boyfriend to be your safety net, when he has kids of his own... is pretty selfish of you.

It makes sense that he should leave a lot to his kids.

You need to protect yourself, though. Get a FT job or a prenup. Otherwise, you are screwed.

You are not married. He is right. If he is fully paying for the house, it makes sense. Stop having kid until you are married with him as you have no protection. Get a full time job and save.

Fiancé of many years is buying a house (second home). He refuses to put me on the title and says it’s because I can’t pay the mortgage (I’m a stay at home mom and work part time). I’m not on the title of the house we reside in currently either. I guess if something happens to him, his older kids (he was married once before) will inherit the houses and I’ll be left with nothing. What happens in this situation? I am almost 50 and he’s five years older. I’m not money hungry but am very concerned that I won’t have a place to live with my kids (one of which is his) if something happens to him.