I know what you are saying OP, but do you have a senior in HS applying to college right now? Even kids that DCUM would say are average (including my smart and hardworking senior that doesn't have any APs but has a good GPA), are stressed. Even at lower tier schools there is competition, and these kids are fighting for their spots at lower ranked schools just like other kids are fighting for spots at ivys.

To be fair, the system is really impossible, every school (even lower tiered ones) have thousands of applications for every spot and our kids (attending the same high schools as your kid) want to go to college.

I actually agree with you, OP, but telling your kid that is hard, the kids want a real college experience and its stressful to be applying to all schools right now. So please don't tell me to calm down - I want the same thing you want for your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about those of us worried if our child is going to graduate hs?

So frustrating to watch her chance at college just slipping away

Hugs! I was there with one of my kids. Got them therapy to deal with the ADD and self-sabotage. They turned around their grades but weren’t accepted at any reaches or even matches. They attended an out-of-state flagship that is well-respected but not a hard admissions. (think Univ of Iowa, Univ of Indiana, etc.), graduated with a liberal arts degree and, within five years, are earning six figures.

It can turn out fine.

NP. That’s wonderful! Do you mind sharing what job they are in? What a nice outcome for them and for you as the parent.

Kid is a federal contractor.

As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about those of us worried if our child is going to graduate hs?

So frustrating to watch her chance at college just slipping away

Hugs! I was there with one of my kids. Got them therapy to deal with the ADD and self-sabotage. They turned around their grades but weren’t accepted at any reaches or even matches. They attended an out-of-state flagship that is well-respected but not a hard admissions. (think Univ of Iowa, Univ of Indiana, etc.), graduated with a liberal arts degree and, within five years, are earning six figures.

It can turn out fine.

NP. That’s wonderful! Do you mind sharing what job they are in? What a nice outcome for them and for you as the parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am specifically worried about A students who can't stand out because of the test-optional and grade-inflation climate.

So some "A students" probably benefitted from grade inflation too, no?

Test -optional isn't going away, but one can still try and get a high score to stand out (depending on the school applied to).

Yes, you're right. Then I mean just the high-achievers. I just wish everyone could be neatly slotted by academic rank, that's all, regardless of ethnicity, income, other talents, etc. My kid wouldn't be at the top, but at least there wouldn't be so much angst and uncertainty. Universities are places of academic learning, and in other countries, academics is all there is to the college application process. It's so much simpler.

Anonymous wrote:
I am specifically worried about A students who can't stand out because of the test-optional and grade-inflation climate.

So some "A students" probably benefitted from grade inflation too, no?

Test -optional isn't going away, but one can still try and get a high score to stand out (depending on the school applied to).

I am specifically worried about A students who can't stand out because of the test-optional and grade-inflation climate.

Anonymous wrote:What about those of us worried if our child is going to graduate hs?

So frustrating to watch her chance at college just slipping away

Hugs! I was there with one of my kids. Got them therapy to deal with the ADD and self-sabotage. They turned around their grades but weren’t accepted at any reaches or even matches. They attended an out-of-state flagship that is well-respected but not a hard admissions. (think Univ of Iowa, Univ of Indiana, etc.), graduated with a liberal arts degree and, within five years, are earning six figures.

It can turn out fine.

What about those of us worried if our child is going to graduate hs?

So frustrating to watch her chance at college just slipping away

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see so many average students doing well that i just want stressed helicopter parents to calm down and go easy on their average but hard working students. Just this weekend, i met three young people, one attending D.O. school, one working at IBM and one working at Microsoft. All three were C+ to B- students in high school, didn't get into top schools or even state flagships. One attended regional campus of state school, two went to community college and later transferred to state schools. Just support your kids and give them time to grow. Every person's ability and path is different.

Are they white?

I think i see what you're doing there .......but you do have a point, outcomes don't translate in that way (the cited egs.) for all. For every +ve outcome there are many others on the -ve side of the "number line".

Anonymous wrote:I see so many average students doing well that i just want stressed helicopter parents to calm down and go easy on their average but hard working students. Just this weekend, i met three young people, one attending D.O. school, one working at IBM and one working at Microsoft. All three were C+ to B- students in high school, didn't get into top schools or even state flagships. One attended regional campus of state school, two went to community college and later transferred to state schools. Just support your kids and give them time to grow. Every person's ability and path is different.

As the sometimes anxious mom of a B- kid who is kind and smart and hardworking and all around awesome, thank you! It's a nice reminder to just hug my kid and tell him I love him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see so many average students doing well that i just want stressed helicopter parents to calm down and go easy on their average but hard working students. Just this weekend, i met three young people, one attending D.O. school, one working at IBM and one working at Microsoft. All three were C+ to B- students in high school, didn't get into top schools or even state flagships. One attended regional campus of state school, two went to community college and later transferred to state schools. Just support your kids and give them time to grow. Every person's ability and path is different.

Are they white?

One white, two Asians.

Anonymous wrote:I see so many average students doing well that i just want stressed helicopter parents to calm down and go easy on their average but hard working students. Just this weekend, i met three young people, one attending D.O. school, one working at IBM and one working at Microsoft. All three were C+ to B- students in high school, didn't get into top schools or even state flagships. One attended regional campus of state school, two went to community college and later transferred to state schools. Just support your kids and give them time to grow. Every person's ability and path is different.

Are they white?

That doesn't help the status-affirming/seeking parents of high school seniors though.

I see so many average students doing well that i just want stressed helicopter parents to calm down and go easy on their average but hard working students. Just this weekend, i met three young people, one attending D.O. school, one working at IBM and one working at Microsoft. All three were C+ to B- students in high school, didn't get into top schools or even state flagships. One attended regional campus of state school, two went to community college and later transferred to state schools. Just support your kids and give them time to grow. Every person's ability and path is different.