When I was a new nanny, I was probably like this to some degree. I didn't have kids and was learning as I went along. 15 years in and I am so much better--that said, as I got better at the cleaning, tidying, organizing etc, I became less "playful" because I was focusing on the other stuff and encouraging the kids to entertain themselves. I almost never to activities that can be messy, like baking, messy crafts, play-do etc because I don't want to clean it up. IMO, I think it would be really hard to find someone who can excel at both the playfulness and the keeping up with the nitty gritty.

This would not be a deal breaker for me, but you need to be aware that many of your children's learned habits will come from her. The items you mention are habits your kids can be developing by the time they are three. So if you want her to teach them to empty their own back packs at the end of each day (this is a kid's job) and remove food and personal belongings from the stroller before putting it away (or not leaving those things in the car), assign to her the duty to teach these habits to you children.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people who are really good with children have executive function issues. It's kind of a strength when working with children (they can be totally in the moment) but it can also lead to the issues you describe.

I would keep her, but assume she is not going to change and just compensate for her weaknesses. A good child care provider is probably compensating for some of your weaknesses as a parent by providing different things for your child, so it should all work out in the end.

+1
The things she is good at are worth more and are hard to find. How old are the kids? They can have the job of emptying out the lunches. Get all disposable or dw safe containers. I’ve needed up buying multiples of things so that one can be in the dw while one is packed. Honestly I’d rather double check the stroller myself at night then go through a new nanny search (which I’m doing now and there are a ton of duds out there)

A lot of people who are really good with children have executive function issues. It's kind of a strength when working with children (they can be totally in the moment) but it can also lead to the issues you describe.

I would keep her, but assume she is not going to change and just compensate for her weaknesses. A good child care provider is probably compensating for some of your weaknesses as a parent by providing different things for your child, so it should all work out in the end.

I would bring it up with your nanny. Mostly because she should be cleaning WITH the kids after each activity so that the kids learn skills too.

I have a similar nanny. My kid that she's watching is 1 though (so not going to school) and my beef is that every day my kid's clothes are destroyed. And I do mean destroyed. It basically looks like the clothes were used as a napkin, baby rolls in the dirt and then crawls on the sidewalk getting holes in the pants. People in grocery stores comment and both sets of our parents are horrified. This isn't my first baby so I totally understand food stains, but this is extreme. I bought several bibs for the baby to wear, but other than that, I'm just dealing with it. I have a change of clothes with me in case we go anywhere in the afternoon. And then I just toss all of her clothes as she outgrows them. My other kids' clothes were still fine to pass on even after 2 kids wore them.

It’s annoying but basically you can remind her or fire her. The other way to manage it would be to take ten minutes before she leaves to walk through the house, stroller and backpacks with her.

Do you trust her to not be absentminded with, say, buckling car seats and playground safety, etc.? If you generally trust her judgment I would try to make it work if she’s as energetic and creative as you say

I would also exaggerate the risk of critters and say you have to hire an exterminator, that you’re scared of mice in the playroom. Fear of actual rodents can change behavior.

Honestly, I'd keep her. Every nanny will have something "wrong" and in the grand scheme of things, your kids are happy, loved, and thriving. Unfortunately, some kids that have nannies are not.

I would keep her if she’s otherwise awesome. I have a part time sitter not nanny but she always leaves DDs dinner stuff in the sink, plus drinking glass etc… it’s only twice a week and DD likes her a lot so I suck it up.

I’d get a new nanny. I want my nanny to eliminate problems and make less work for me.

Anonymous wrote:I would eliminate the task of cleaning kids backpacks. Buy containers that are easier to open and close for the stroller. Give her a proper break so she can eat her lunch.

This is OP. She has more than a proper break… she takes my kids to school at 9 and doesn’t pick them up until 1pm. And yes, she gets paid for all the time in between.

Anonymous wrote:You need a maid, she’s a nanny.

Wow. Hard disagree. She beeds someone who's going to make her life easier and support her ability to parent. This is significantly undermining that. This would be a huge deal breaker for me. Chuldrens mess is absolutely the nannys responsibility and her own mess even more so. I hear crafts and I think mess, so if she is leaving anything you have to deal with related to that this relationship is backwards imo. There are too many fantastic nannies out there to have to deal with someone who is going to make your life harder and take away rather than add to the time you have with your kids.

You need a maid, she’s a nanny.

I would eliminate the task of cleaning kids backpacks. Buy containers that are easier to open and close for the stroller. Give her a proper break so she can eat her lunch.

We have had our nanny for a little over a year now and she is wonderful in so many ways, but we have one main issue with her and I am trying to figure out how to get over it. I am not sure if she is just messy or forgetful or both, but it’s clear that despite outlining expectations things are not going to change. I was just cleaning up and organizing our playroom, and found a disgusting dirty Tupperware with half eaten food in it on a chair. I know it’s our nanny’s lunch from one day last week that she clearly forgot to rinse and bring home. She regularly leaves open bags of the kids snacks in our stroller, which is in our garage and attracts animals/critters, so I have repeatedly asked her to be extra careful about not leaving open food around. At least once a week she forgets to take the kids’ lunch bags out of their backpacks and I find them the next morning smelling really bad with old food. Even when she does manage to bring them up and wash them I find them put away not fully clean with food particulars stuck to them (not sure why she is against the dishwasher, but she hand washes everything and does not do a great job at it). It’s honestly really gross and I have to be the one to make sure everything is handled most nights.

On the flip side, she is incredibly warm and engaging and so much fun. She is the nanny always bringing crafts to do with the kids, baking treats with them and organizing tons of activities with other neighborhood kids. But she makes a mess most of the time that I end up dealing with.

If you were in my shoes would you just try to deal with it?