Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're really discounting the effects of the pandemic. While DD and DS have mostly recovered, DH and I have not. And our kids don't live in a vacuum. Nor do any other kids.

If you haven't recovered then it's because you want to blame it for all your problems brought on by yourself.

We were very lucky that we were easily able to work from home, have our nanny keep the kids on a schedule during the pandemic, have access to technology, and not have anyone in our family get Covid. We had some bumps in the road the first year, but figured things out, created a social bubble, and made it work. Our oldest has said repeatedly that some of the kids in her grade are REALLY wild or REALLY emotional. There's one girl who's perfectly nice but cries at the drop of a hat - the teachers are so fed up with her that they send her into the hallway to finish crying and then she can come back into the classroom. (She cries over not getting called on to answer a question, not getting the color of construction paper she wanted - simple stuff.)

I think the wild kids may not have had the luxuries mine did.

Teachers have enough on their plates already - parents need to step up and actually provide consequences for bad behavior. In addition, teachers have their hands tied behind their backs with no way to properly discipline students anymore. Students can now get away with horrible behavior in schools, and admin won’t back up teachers removing the problem kids from the room/school so everyone else can learn and focus.

Am one of the room moms for my child's class, and the teachers reported the same as OP at one of our meetings.

OP is completely correct and the awful behavior + parent enabling is a major reason for teacher burnout. There’s a great teacher-led channel on YouTube that talks about this issue in detail - Teacher Therapy. (https://youtube.com/c/TeacherTherapy)

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

you have absolutely no knowledge of the real reasons for behavior problems.

Methinks the poster doth protest too much.

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

you have absolutely no knowledge of the real reasons for behavior problems.

+1

I know that last school year, the re-entry school year, was really rough. I was hoping that this year would be better, but OP is saying that it's not.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your school and teachers need some lessons in classroom and school management.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

you have absolutely no knowledge of the real reasons for behavior problems.

No, but she can observe and compare the behavior of kids in school this year compared to previous years.

Dear OP,

you have absolutely no knowledge of the real reasons for behavior problems.

OP, I think you're really discounting the effects of the pandemic. While DD and DS have mostly recovered, DH and I have not. And our kids don't live in a vacuum. Nor do any other kids.

Why in the world does your school allow this behavior? You need to update the school handbook and create better discipline standards, structure, reinforcement strategies, etc.

I agree parents play a role but teachers and school structure influences behavior at school. If your entire school population is out of control then you need to fix what your school expectations are first.

Majority of the kids will fall into line, the others you place under disciplinary action and deal with parents directly.

Sounds like your school and teachers need some lessons in classroom and school management.

Dear parents,

Many of your kids are out of control. They don't listen to adults at school, they are physically aggressive, they have no respect for property. Yes some of your kids are delightful. But every teacher who has spent any significant time in elementary schools are saying this is the worst year ever in terms of behavior. I know we like to blame the pandemic, but enough time has passed with them back in school that I don't think we can keep blaming that for such a huge level of disrespect.

Yes I know your instinct is to blame teachers, but I can't tell you how hard they are working. I know you don't believe it, but I see it every day.

Here are some things to consider when you are parenting at home and saying "I have to choose my battles"

--when you don't make your children sit at the table for a meal, let them get up at restaurants, or pacify them with screens--you're not teaching them to be able to sit at a cafeteria table for 25 minutes and eat their meal with focus. When there's 100-200 kids in there at a time, this becomes a huge problem.
--when you carry their jacket for them or pick up their trash when they've dropped it, you're not teaching them to take care of the environment around them or take responsibility for their belongings.
--when you let them interrupt you and you allow them to dominate conversations, you're not helping them to learn how to hold their comments in class until it's time to comment, or not interrupt when a book is being read to them.
--if they make a big mess and you take a photo of it to post on social media, you are teaching them that it's funny
--if a teacher lets you know that your kid made a poor choice, don't just let it go.

Work with your children to problem solve without being aggressive. Talk about feelings at home, but don't allow their feelings to completely excuse poor choices. Give them chores. Hold them responsible for their actions. Set boundaries and don't be afraid to enforce them. Be consistent. Positive parenting has its place, but if you see a behavior is not going away, consider other options. Yes I know it's harder to do these things and yes I know you're tired, we all are., The kids I see with the most egregious behavior problems need the most support and love. But it's exhausting giving that to them when they're constantly hurting others and trashing the school.

I hope I don't get crucified for this post, but if I do I can take it. It takes working as a team to get these kids educated and safely to leave your home as an adult. Let's do this together. Please don't take this in defense, but in the possibility that doing these things you can help your child succeed at school and in the real world.