Anonymous
11/12/2022 12:49
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Anonymous wrote:It’s her child, not yours. When she takes a break to interact then make yourself busy doing something else until she’s done.
Yup this.
My schedule is different day to day and it is around lunchtime when colleagues eat or are out that I have some free time in my schedule so that’s when I go hang out with kiddo. Just deal with it I don’t get what the issue is.
Anonymous
11/12/2022 06:23
Subject: Re:Parents I need an advice
Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry this is a frustrating situation, but ultimately it’s the parents decision when to interact with their child. I would try to adjust as much as possible. She will know the child’s schedule better than anyone and is capable of making these decisions and dealing with the consequences. I would not suggest to her that she not interact with her child when she has time or wants to. I can’t see that going over well no matter how good the intentions.
If parents don’t discipline themselves enough to allow their child a consistent routine, I’d resign and go work with more mature parents. There are plenty of them desperate to find good help and happy to pay 25+ per hour to get it.
Anonymous
10/29/2022 23:30
Subject: Re:Parents I need an advice
I’m sorry this is a frustrating situation, but ultimately it’s the parents decision when to interact with their child. I would try to adjust as much as possible. She will know the child’s schedule better than anyone and is capable of making these decisions and dealing with the consequences. I would not suggest to her that she not interact with her child when she has time or wants to. I can’t see that going over well no matter how good the intentions.
Anonymous
10/29/2022 21:54
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Yeah, I can’t imagine a conversation like this would go over well.
Anonymous
10/29/2022 21:53
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Point out he seems emotional and overtired come the pre naptime visits and that you might need to adjust his naptime. Feed him 15 minutes earlier.
Anonymous
10/29/2022 21:48
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Mention to her, as others have suggested, the best times to come spend time with her baby to minimize disruption. If she follows the suggestions and takes over frequently during scheduled playtime, your work hours essentially decrease. And she and the baby are both happier. Everyone wins.
Anonymous
10/29/2022 21:11
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s her child, not yours. When she takes a break to interact then make yourself busy doing something else until she’s done.
+1 I would consider a switch if this "problem" was raised to me. It's her baby and ultimately she is the one who will be in charge of the consequences. You should definitely back off as much as possible when she's there. Same with grandma. That is the job.
Anonymous
10/29/2022 21:03
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Anonymous wrote:It’s her child, not yours. When she takes a break to interact then make yourself busy doing something else until she’s done.
Anonymous
10/29/2022 21:00
Subject: Parents I need an advice
It’s her child, not yours. When she takes a break to interact then make yourself busy doing something else until she’s done.
Anonymous
10/28/2022 09:12
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Really appreciate the guidance and insight, will address the issue and go from there.
Anonymous
10/28/2022 09:05
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Question from nanny to parents:
I’ve been working for a good family the past 10 months, first time parents to a baby boy. Child would be 1 in November. Both parents WFH. Dad is very busy and I hardly ever see him and he’s not overly engaged to the child. Cut and dried dude, no problem with that.The mother, however… she’s good but she doesn’t have a demanding job(says works Full-Time)as father and I find extremely annoying the amount of ‘breaks’ she takes and she does it before the child is about to nap, either in the middle of lunchtime or end of lunchtime. When she does it, baby cries his lungs out and messes up the routine the baby is currently on with me. For example, I put the child in high chair , eats his lunch and is overall happy. She comes down from office and literally she begins hugging the child, gets him out of high chair w/o cleaning his fingers and mouth (child hasn’t finished eating)and tells me oh he gets upset, needs a hug😡! How do you guys deal and approach a WFH Mom? How do you set boundaries and let her know that she’s overly stimulating the child and therefore the child gets upset?mother is never on my grill but I find it very difficult to feed the child IF she’s around or whenever Grandma comes once a month(GM is nice and tries not to be too close to child and takes dog for a walk until I leave.)
I worked with WFH parents in the past and they almost never interfered with the schedule.
Any thoughts? TIA.
I think you’re overthinking this and you need to just communicate with her. You said it’s been 10 months. That’s a really long time to let this go on without saying anything, so she probably doesn’t think it’s a big deal and that’s why she keeps doing it.
“MB, I’ve noticed that when you engage with child during or after lunch, he gets distracted and it’s hard for me to get him back into his routine. Since he goes down for his nap at 12, could you please try to take your break at 12:15 so that I have time to get him settled? A better time for you to come say hi to him during the day would be x o’clock.”
Same poster - should add that I’m a MB and WFH and try very hard not to be around when DC is awake so as not to disrupt the routine, but sometimes I only have a 15 minute window between meetings to grab lunch and it lines up with DC’s lunchtime or something.
Anonymous
10/28/2022 09:00
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Anonymous wrote:Question from nanny to parents:
I’ve been working for a good family the past 10 months, first time parents to a baby boy. Child would be 1 in November. Both parents WFH. Dad is very busy and I hardly ever see him and he’s not overly engaged to the child. Cut and dried dude, no problem with that.The mother, however… she’s good but she doesn’t have a demanding job(says works Full-Time)as father and I find extremely annoying the amount of ‘breaks’ she takes and she does it before the child is about to nap, either in the middle of lunchtime or end of lunchtime. When she does it, baby cries his lungs out and messes up the routine the baby is currently on with me. For example, I put the child in high chair , eats his lunch and is overall happy. She comes down from office and literally she begins hugging the child, gets him out of high chair w/o cleaning his fingers and mouth (child hasn’t finished eating)and tells me oh he gets upset, needs a hug😡! How do you guys deal and approach a WFH Mom? How do you set boundaries and let her know that she’s overly stimulating the child and therefore the child gets upset?mother is never on my grill but I find it very difficult to feed the child IF she’s around or whenever Grandma comes once a month(GM is nice and tries not to be too close to child and takes dog for a walk until I leave.)
I worked with WFH parents in the past and they almost never interfered with the schedule.
Any thoughts? TIA.
I think you’re overthinking this and you need to just communicate with her. You said it’s been 10 months. That’s a really long time to let this go on without saying anything, so she probably doesn’t think it’s a big deal and that’s why she keeps doing it.
“MB, I’ve noticed that when you engage with child during or after lunch, he gets distracted and it’s hard for me to get him back into his routine. Since he goes down for his nap at 12, could you please try to take your break at 12:15 so that I have time to get him settled? A better time for you to come say hi to him during the day would be x o’clock.”
Anonymous
10/28/2022 08:41
Subject: Parents I need an advice
This is hard because so many parents are gleeful in how much WFH allows them to be closer to their babies. I can see two ways of addressing this - one is a sit down conversation where you kindly address the issue, acknowledge how lovely it is for her to be involved during her work day and request if you can work together to find times or ways that it doesn’t disrupt the schedule you set.
Second way is to on the spot make those remarks, eg she comes to pick the child during meal time and you kindly but firmly stop her “please let him finish eating before we take him out!” Our first nanny had 4 kids and was very no-nonsense in charge and let me know when I did things that disrupted her. She always did so kindly but firmly.
Have you explained to her how important his routine is during the hours you spend with him?
Good luck!
Second way is to on the spot make those remarks, eg she comes to pick the child during meal time and you kindly but firmly stop her “please let him finish eating before we take him out!” Our first nanny had 4 kids and was very no-nonsense in charge and let me know when I did things that disrupted her. She always did so kindly but firmly.
Have you explained to her how important his routine is during the hours you spend with him?
Good luck!
Anonymous
10/27/2022 15:54
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Have you tried just talking to her? Sounds like she misses her baby (understandable) and wants to see him during the day, but might not realize how much it's impacting his schedule...if it is. You could offer times that breaks may be more convenient for both of you. You could see if perhaps she'd like to get him down for naps a few days a week. There's plenty of room to work with this but you are gonna have to put on your big girl pants and have a conversation.
Anonymous
10/27/2022 14:56
Subject: Parents I need an advice
Question from nanny to parents:
I’ve been working for a good family the past 10 months, first time parents to a baby boy. Child would be 1 in November. Both parents WFH. Dad is very busy and I hardly ever see him and he’s not overly engaged to the child. Cut and dried dude, no problem with that.The mother, however… she’s good but she doesn’t have a demanding job(says works Full-Time)as father and I find extremely annoying the amount of ‘breaks’ she takes and she does it before the child is about to nap, either in the middle of lunchtime or end of lunchtime. When she does it, baby cries his lungs out and messes up the routine the baby is currently on with me. For example, I put the child in high chair , eats his lunch and is overall happy. She comes down from office and literally she begins hugging the child, gets him out of high chair w/o cleaning his fingers and mouth (child hasn’t finished eating)and tells me oh he gets upset, needs a hug😡! How do you guys deal and approach a WFH Mom? How do you set boundaries and let her know that she’s overly stimulating the child and therefore the child gets upset?mother is never on my grill but I find it very difficult to feed the child IF she’s around or whenever Grandma comes once a month(GM is nice and tries not to be too close to child and takes dog for a walk until I leave.)
I worked with WFH parents in the past and they almost never interfered with the schedule.
Any thoughts? TIA.
I’ve been working for a good family the past 10 months, first time parents to a baby boy. Child would be 1 in November. Both parents WFH. Dad is very busy and I hardly ever see him and he’s not overly engaged to the child. Cut and dried dude, no problem with that.The mother, however… she’s good but she doesn’t have a demanding job(says works Full-Time)as father and I find extremely annoying the amount of ‘breaks’ she takes and she does it before the child is about to nap, either in the middle of lunchtime or end of lunchtime. When she does it, baby cries his lungs out and messes up the routine the baby is currently on with me. For example, I put the child in high chair , eats his lunch and is overall happy. She comes down from office and literally she begins hugging the child, gets him out of high chair w/o cleaning his fingers and mouth (child hasn’t finished eating)and tells me oh he gets upset, needs a hug😡! How do you guys deal and approach a WFH Mom? How do you set boundaries and let her know that she’s overly stimulating the child and therefore the child gets upset?mother is never on my grill but I find it very difficult to feed the child IF she’s around or whenever Grandma comes once a month(GM is nice and tries not to be too close to child and takes dog for a walk until I leave.)
I worked with WFH parents in the past and they almost never interfered with the schedule.
Any thoughts? TIA.