How likely is the place going to have another increase? I would probably start looking for a different place, just in case.

Anonymous wrote:If you’re in DMV that is cheap!

Honestly, it’s a good deal just about anywhere. My cousins are looking for a place for their parents and have been surprised at the costs in the more rural area where one sibling lives compared to the costs in the metro NY area where the other sibling lives. I think the closer-in location benefits from economies of scale and possibly some tax breaks. I wouldn’t assume you’ll find cheaper memory care farther away.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. How incredibly stressful.

Does she have any assets you can sell? It pains me to see adult children refusing to sell X, Y, or Z because it's their inheritance, rather than using it for the care of their parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to ask this, but what is her prognosis vis-a-vis lifespan? Once my mother hit memory care she was only alive for about 9 months.

She has no other health issues, besides losing weight from not eating enough. She started having dementia around 2018 but has had full blown dementia for about three years now. Barely speaks at all. It's very sad. She's really not there anymore. She is 88, but in "good health."

Right now, I would plan for steady state for the next year. I would just think that a move might be traumatic for her.

If you’re in DMV that is cheap!

Anonymous wrote:If you like the care and she is doing well there, I would keep her there - and don't think that $6K a month is a bad deal at all and think you will struggle to find a good place for her that costs less.

No, I realize it's a pretty good deal, but we literally cannot afford any more than this. I have a child with SN and that's where our money goes.

I would keep her there, but I would also do the legwork for researching other options now so if you need to make a change, you are prepared.

I would start looking because it is going to take a while for a place that you really like.

Question for finances - will the adjustment in SS COLA give you more flexibility such that you have more wiggle room?

Anonymous wrote:I hate to ask this, but what is her prognosis vis-a-vis lifespan? Once my mother hit memory care she was only alive for about 9 months.

She has no other health issues, besides losing weight from not eating enough. She started having dementia around 2018 but has had full blown dementia for about three years now. Barely speaks at all. It's very sad. She's really not there anymore. She is 88, but in "good health."

If you like the care and she is doing well there, I would keep her there - and don't think that $6K a month is a bad deal at all and think you will struggle to find a good place for her that costs less.

I hate to ask this, but what is her prognosis vis-a-vis lifespan? Once my mother hit memory care she was only alive for about 9 months.

Anonymous wrote:What type of incidentals does she really need? If she makes enough I would pay it.

Medication copays, podiatrist, haircuts, supplements, toiletries, new clothes sometimes. . . it adds up to about $1.5 k. We can cover it. But if something big happened (not sure what that would be) we would out of luck.

What type of incidentals does she really need? If she makes enough I would pay it.

We just got the letter. My mother's dementia care is going up from $5k to $6K. I know we were lucky to even have it at $5k but $6k is at the tippy top of her budget. She has zero savings and gets a pension plus social security that equals almost exactly $6k. So we could technically pay this, but there would be zero wiggle room.

My partner and I cannot contribute financially. A thousand a year for incidentals, yes, but nothing significant.

We are happy with the place she is, should we just keep her there until there is a crisis?

Or should I look for a less expensive home further out from DC where prices may be lower, even if it is hours away.

Feeling really terrible about this whole situation.